CD Peeps: Do you feel as if you'll ALWAYS be single? (woman, love)
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Then don't post like you're a bitter person because of the men you run into.
And yes, I make broad brush assumptions, on 2 people. It's definitely comparable to any and all statements that begin with "99% of a gender..."
First, I never said anything about "99%" of anything.
Second, there was a question asked by the OP, I answered it along with the reasons why I chose that answer and other reasononings behind why I might still be single. If you read what I wrote, you would also see that I do have people (not just men) trust issues because of my past.
However, you really have proven a great point though and I know I'm not the only one who sees it. So how about you move your name calling elsewhere.
I don't see how those two comments that you quoted contradicted each other. The fact of the matter is that if a person is constantly attracting the dregs of the opposite sex, then that person needs to be honest with themselves and make some changes. Starting with their attitude.
LOL to funny because if you knew me in real life you would see that I am actually the complete opposite of that.
But then that is what I expect because one can only make broad brushed assumptions when on a forum.
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of Hipsters suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something ironic has happened.
I sympathize. I can't stand people, generally, but I absolutely want to have one special person in my life,
and sorting through meeting/getting to know a bunch of people in order to find "a keeper" is agony (I'm an introvert, too).
And for demographic purposes, I'm 40 yrs. old
Repped. I'm pretty much the same way. Don't want much to do with people in general. I just want one person to care about.
I admit I carry around the nasty feeling that anyone I would find attractive could "do better" than me. I start to think it may even be wrong for me to be in a relationship with such a person, that I might be some kind of curse on them, and I'd feel guilt for keeping them from that "someone better than me".
I will think, "I might be considered pretty, smart, blah blah blah, but lots of women are those things & may not have XYZ flaws I have." I tend to see my flaws as more detrimental to my attractiveness & value as a partner than other people's flaws.
I realize my biggest problem likely IS this attitude - the low valuing of myself... but I'm not sure how to get past it. Looked in cognitive-behavioral stuff, changing mindsets, etc. It's hard to keep that routine of positive inner dialogue when you have a lifetime of beating yourself up. Sort of identified the root of it (dad left, blah blah blah), still can't figure out how to unroot it.
I admit I carry around the nasty feeling that anyone I would find attractive could "do better" than me. I start to think it may even be wrong for me to be in a relationship with such a person, that I might be some kind of curse on them, and I'd feel guilt for keeping them from that "someone better than me".
I will think, "I might be considered pretty, smart, blah blah blah, but lots of women are those things & may not have XYZ flaws I have." I tend to see my flaws as more detrimental to my attractiveness & value as a partner than other people's flaws.
^Can dig exactly where you're coming from.
I could've written that myself.
I struggle mightily with rampant insecurities, and to remind myself of this
from Jaclyn Friedman's "What You Really Really Want", 2011:
Quote:
Originally Posted by book excerpt
pg.173: "When you compare your insides to someone's outsides, it's never a fair fight. In other words, we all try to present our best self to the world."
"Some people are just better at hiding their messes than others. And sometimes the folks who hide them well are the most messed-up in the end."
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple
I realize my biggest problem likely IS this attitude - the low valuing of myself... but I'm not sure how to get past it. Looked in cognitive-behavioral stuff, changing mindsets, etc. It's hard to keep that routine of positive inner dialogue when you have a lifetime of beating yourself up. Sort of identified the root of it (dad left, blah blah blah), still can't figure out how to unroot it.
All I can do is try apply repetition over time, when I can find positive experiences & people,
in hopes of diluting the physiological & psychological reflex effects of chaotic scary childhood.
The tone of your messages makes me think your attitude is more of a factor than you realize. It would make sense that your friends are having similar experiences, since we tend to be friends with people who are similar to us. There is no characteristic (other than having a penis) that can be applied universally to 99% of all men in a major metro area. The common denominator is you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog
I can't help you, really.
I've chosen my friends through time, and they're some of the most loyal and trustworthy people I've ever met. I know without a shout of a doubt they wouldn't treat women poorly unless those women treated them poorly.
it's not 99% of men. You're just angry and bitter.
Shrug. Go talk to your men friends who treated me like crap. I wasn't born this way. I became this way through experience.
My guy friends didn't treat you like crap. The men you chose to date treated you like crap. That's not all men's fault.
But I don't need to argue with you since you'll never change your tune. Peace.
No need to; I'm right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx
Exactly. You let yourself become that way. No one did it to you.
Walk a mile in my shoes, you'll be the same way. I guarantee it.
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