CD Peeps: Do you feel as if you'll ALWAYS be single? (man, attracted)
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Walk a mile in my shoes, you'll be the same way. I guarantee it.
No offense, but you sound like those women, who are in abusive relationships, who say that all men abuse them, and yet, it's those men that they subconsciously seek out. You know the type. Women who are abused (for a long period of time), don't know any different, so it's what they seek out (same with men).
I have walked a mile in your shoes. Been burned up the yahoo in my life. I'm cynical, untrusting, and hate all the BS that comes with dating. However, even I'm not as bitter as you are. So, sorry, I'd have to agree with the PP, you are like this because you CHOOSE to be like this. You may also be finding the players, because maybe that's what you're subconsciously looking for, so you can say, "see, I told you, they're all pigs". Self-fulfilling prophecy and all.
I used to be in that same position. Once I stopped feeling sorry for myself and blaming the men, I started to take a good hard look at myself and the men I chose to date. What attracted me to them, why was I always going for the guys that wanted only sex, would play games, etc. In the end, I realized that I was in fact, looking for that type of person because I didn't want to truly get close to anyone (been hurt too much, was scared to be vulnerable, blah blah blah). And by choosing those types of men (I can spot them a mile away now), I didn't have to get close or let them in, because I knew, in the end, they'd just be pigs.
That's my story, I'm not saying it's yours.
Lastly, have you ever thought that maybe all the men in DFW are sick and tired of cynical women, like you, who believe they're all pigs even if they're not? So the good ones stay away from women like you. Many of my male friends tell me they can tell within a date or two if a woman is cynical, has been burnt, and overall hates the male species. So they end contact because they're good guys who don't feel they should have to prove themselves, because you've been burned in the past.
Since college, it's starting to look and feel that way. Then again, I always end up either liking and dating guys with traits that I cannot stand, so maybe it's best if I stay single and wait it out until I met someone with the things I look for in a relationship. Let's just say I tend to speak my mind (more so since living on my own) and am brutally honest while doing so. :P
In the meantime, I am working on building up my self-esteem and confidence, and am trying to be a much nicer person (gotta keep me in check!). I am also planning on taking some recreational classes this fall to have something fun to do during the work week and meet new people.
Since college, it's starting to look and feel that way. Then again, I always end up either liking and dating guys with traits that I cannot stand, so maybe it's best if I stay single and wait it out until I met someone with the things I look for in a relationship. Let's just say I tend to speak my mind (more so since living on my own) and am brutally honest while doing so. :P
In the meantime, I am working on building up my self-esteem and confidence, and am trying to be a much nicer person (gotta keep me in check!). I am also planning on taking some recreational classes this fall to have something fun to do during the work week and meet new people.
I'm like you with the fact that I can be brutally honest at times and there are times where I should hold it back. It takes some time to learn when to use that honesty effectively and when to hold back.
It's definitely not easy if you come from a family where speaking your mind and honesty are the 2 big rules in the household, and also having family cursing like a sailor while doing so, and then applying what you do to the outside world and finding out that, that's not the way you speak to people most of the time lol.
Because most men at best are immature game-players, at worst lower than pond scum.
I'm fit, cute, make my own money, and I'm told by my friends that I'm hilarious and fun to be around. Yet, here I am. Hell I was just dating someone recently and I thought it was going really well, then he smacked it down with the "I think we're moving too fast" excuse. Guyspeak for "Yeah, enjoyed the dates, moving on to the next girl now."
I was aggressively single for a while prior to that, and now I am remembering exactly why I refused to date anyone for so long. Because crap like this happens.
You know i dont know, i could be totally off base here, but maybe the reason you get treated that way is because your thoughts are part of your attitude. After all why would i want to date a woman that said the bolded? And if you think the men you surround yourself dont know how you feel then you are fooling yourself because they already do.
I'm unattractive but I'm not a troll. Judging from the women on here, most seem to not want anything to do with single parents. Mostly just their kids. I'm not rich or famous but I take care of myself and my daughter. I dress OK for my career. I also think chivalry is dead or should die. If you haven't noticed, I'm also a little bitter.
Definitely. Not because of my situation because my situation is getting me where I wanna be.
Mostly because of my physical appearance and probably my personality. I don't find myself pretty and guys never really compliment me. Last time I tried getting to know someone, he told me "You totally look like your pictures, I don't know if that's a compliment though". It really had an impact on me. I've since stopped thinking I could ever be with someone.
I'm now getting used to being single. After all, one can't be successful in every single area of their life. I'm not lucky in love but I'm starting to accept that and accept the fact that nobody really wants me.
I'm like you with the fact that I can be brutally honest at times and there are times where I should hold it back. It takes some time to learn when to use that honesty effectively and when to hold back.
It's definitely not easy if you come from a family where speaking your mind and honesty are the 2 big rules in the household, and also having family cursing like a sailor while doing so, and then applying what you do to the outside world and finding out that, that's not the way you speak to people most of the time lol.
Oh I am learning that lesson now!!! The worst part is that now that I am living on my own, I have no one keeping me 'in check' on a daily basis. Not that someone should be (I should be doing this myself and think before I begin talking to other people), but it sure would help a lot. I told someone that Rome wasn't built in a day...it took me a while to get like this and it will take me just as long for me to change way ways. I'm usually pretty nice and silly most of the time, but don't even begin to get me aggravated! That's when the Mr. Hyde personality comes out. This may explain why I tend to get guys w/ submissive and passive-aggressive personalities.
Definitely. Not because of my situation because my situation is getting me where I wanna be.
Mostly because of my physical appearance and probably my personality. I don't find myself pretty and guys never really compliment me. Last time I tried getting to know someone, he told me "You totally look like your pictures, I don't know if that's a compliment though". It really had an impact on me. I've since stopped thinking I could ever be with someone.
I'm now getting used to being single. After all, one can't be successful in every single area of their life. I'm not lucky in love but I'm starting to accept that and accept the fact that nobody really wants me.
What a horrible thing for that guy to say! He really should have just kept that to himself. Personally, I think you are an attractive woman. We just need to go fishing in a better pond or lake, so to speak. The one's we're in right now are pretty stagnant.
What a horrible thing for that guy to say! He really should have just kept that to himself. Personally, I think you are an attractive woman. We just need to go fishing in a better pond or lake, so to speak. The one's we're in right now are pretty stagnant.
Thank you
Yeah, that was pretty mean. He is the one who started talking to me online and he wanted to meet up.
He asked me out afterwards, but I figured he felt like had to. Sad.
I definitely agree. We need to go fishing elsewhere.
Being single can be fun and times, but it's also great to have someone special.
Last edited by NolitaAvenue; 08-26-2013 at 08:33 AM..
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Then again, I always end up either liking and dating guys with traits that I cannot stand, so maybe it's best if I stay single and wait it out until I met someone with the things I look for in a relationship. Let's just say I tend to speak my mind (more so since living on my own) and am brutally honest while doing so. :P
The worst part is that now that I am living on my own, I have no one keeping me 'in check' on a daily basis. Not that someone should be (I should be doing this myself and think before I begin talking to other people), but it sure would help a lot. I told someone that Rome wasn't built in a day...it took me a while to get like this and it will take me just as long for me to change way ways. I'm usually pretty nice and silly most of the time, but don't even begin to get me aggravated! That's when the Mr. Hyde personality comes out. 
This may explain why I tend to get guys w/ submissive and passive-aggressive personalities.
He really should have just kept that to himself. Personally, I think you are an attractive woman. We just need to go fishing in a better pond or lake, so to speak. The one's we're in right now are pretty stagnant. 
