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With apologies, guys, but whenever I see a man advising to keep hitting on women until it works, ask a 100 women, etc. all I can picture is some guy starting at one end of the bar and asking each woman in there "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then moving 2 feet over to the next woman and saying "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then stepping over to the next woman and saying "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then moving on to.......
By the time they have made it all the way through the room and received 70 "no's", they only have to go to the next bar and repeat 30 more times and then they will have a success.
I am supposing that a night with only 3 drinks thrown in your face would be a success?
Repeating an action that doesn't work 100 times, is a pretty slow learning curve.
The problem with this entire notion is that the person who does this doesn't want any specific woman for any of their wonderful traits. Any woman will do. Plug and play device. Why not just buy a blow up doll?
I think people do have to keep trying, but under 2 conditions: 1) they only try with mates they really like, and 2) when they try with one, DON'T do it in another's face, as you turn off the one you haven't gotten to yet who saw what you were doing before.
With apologies, guys, but whenever I see a man advising to keep hitting on women until it works, ask a 100 women, etc. all I can picture is some guy starting at one end of the bar and asking each woman in there "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then moving 2 feet over to the next woman and saying "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then stepping over to the next woman and saying "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then moving on to.......
By the time they have made it all the way through the room and received 70 "no's", they only have to go to the next bar and repeat 30 more times and then they will have a success.
I am supposing that a night with only 3 drinks thrown in your face would be a success?
Repeating an action that doesn't work 100 times, is a pretty slow learning curve.
i know a guy who did something like this. he'd approach a group of girls , chat ONE of them up, and ask for her number. If she said "no" he'd turn to her friend and repeat the whole thing... and just keep on doing this.
he eventually got a clue, and he's actually pretty good with women now. ironically, it was one of his friends who send him to a pick-up artist website where he learned to break weird and bad habits.
The gist is that PUA sites have been lying to you about how dating works, in order to get your money.
you have no idea what you are talking about. yes, i believe there are some sites that take advantage of ppl, but if you are dead wrong about some of them, so please dont generalize based solely on an opinionated perspective.
and its no different from life coaching, personal trainers, matchmakers, and (your favorite) therapists. some are better than others, some certainly help, and some clients will never be ameniable to change and improvement. it's like the old joke in psychiatry, "how many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb? .... one, but the lightbulb has to really really really want to change."
hate all you want, but i can assure you that being exposed to that changed my dating life and relationship with women, along with many others i have met.
really, with your therapy inclination, it really surprises me why you bash and discourage this avenue of self improvement, as if you were a man and understood a man's needs when it comes to dating and relationships. and i'm a believer that men make other men better (man sharpens man), and many women tend to demasculate men into nice guys and betas under the belief that's what they need. then these guys end up being simply afraid of approaching a woman to start a conversation???
what is your explanation for why some many guys here on CDR are scared to talk to women, cant get dates, or even get laid????
maybe its because they have no courage and confidence in their masculinity, and never learned it. think about it. yeah, i noticed your comment in the definition of manhood that it's too vague of a concept and really irrelevant these days. i'm sure you dont think the same of the definition of feminity and womanhood.
If you are a guy in this situation it may be time to save up 20 grand and then sit down and mentally prepare to have major plastic surgery. Not just face lift but completely change what you look like, to the point you have to get a new drivers licence or that you would be thrown in jail for having a totally bogus ID.
you have no idea what you are talking about. yes, i believe there are some sites that take advantage of ppl, but if you are dead wrong about some of them, so please dont generalize based solely on an opinionated perspective.
and its no different from life coaching, personal trainers, matchmakers, and (your favorite) therapists. some are better than others, some certainly help, and some clients will never be ameniable to change and improvement. it's like the old joke in psychiatry, "how many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb? .... one, but the lightbulb has to really really really want to change."
hate all you want, but i can assure you that being exposed to that changed my dating life and relationship with women, along with many others i have met.
really, with your therapy inclination, it really surprises me why you bash and discourage this avenue of self improvement, as if you were a man and understood a man's needs when it comes to dating and relationships. and i'm a believer that men make other men better (man sharpens man), and many women tend to demasculate men into nice guys and betas under the belief that's what they need. then these guys end up being simply afraid of approaching a woman to start a conversation???
what is your explanation for why some many guys here on CDR are scared to talk to women, cant get dates, or even get laid????
maybe its because they have no courage and confidence in their masculinity, and never learned it. think about it. yeah, i noticed your comment in the definition of manhood that it's too vague of a concept and really irrelevant these days. i'm sure you dont think the same of the definition of feminity and womanhood.
Its because these men never expereinced what it was like in their formitive years (ie high school/college) to have women swooning after them and thus never had that natural confidence boost. Pretty tough to build confidence and self esteem when you are either rejected or not even given the time of day. Its why prostitution does so well and is not going anywhere, though it is typically too expensvie for most guys to use regularly so they still have to try to find a regular woman.
For unattratcive mne like myself it has to be a numbers game because chances are slim that the average women you approach will say yes so to be selective and only approach a few a month limits your chances drastically..
For unattratcive mne like myself it has to be a numbers game because chances are slim that the average women you approach will say yes so to be selective and only approach a few a month limits your chances drastically..
dude, you are selling yourself short to yourself but are on the right track.
i'm an average looking guy that has become confident in my personal and career achievements in my life, along with learning how to meet, talk, date, and mate good looking women. not always but i do ok to at least be happy with my experiences.
and part of my learning was overcoming my fear of rejection. and if you're committed to learn and become stronger (instead of facing the fear), that anxiety and concern about women not liking you goes away, at least with most women.
as long as you are not out to get something from them, they usually don't have a problem talk to someone interesting and possibly entertaining. once you start building an emotional connection (even friendship like), you're in. how it goes from there depends on chemistry, compatibility, connection, among other things.
The OP was about men having to hit on many women to be successful...........................
No, what OP was saying is that men who keep repeating the same offensive action hundreds and hundreds of times without success really ought to catch a clue that it is not working for them and could maybe try something different.
News flash, fellas: the majority of women do not want to have sex with some total stranger and make that triply so with a man who comes up obviously hoping to take advantage and get his sex without making any sort of personal investment at all. Why is it so difficult to understand that is offensive and offending a woman is not the way to get your fee no strings attached sex?
My suggestion is that if a man has problems speaking to women, he should practice in a safer arena and stop trying to rip off a piece and just concentrate upon getting comfortable and learning how to speak to women. Clubs, volunteer work, even the work place. Just learn how to speak without offending and stop drooling.
If a man already knows a group women, he can ask where they go for fun and if he goes to the same club, he can talk to them without offending them. That's practice in a club setting without risk of rejection. Then, he is seen speaking to women who smile at him. Also, those women might have friends to introduce him to. At any rate, that is how you get comfortable around women, not by collecting rejection after rejection because what you are doing is offensive.
Also, maybe a man who can't get himself a one night stand, not ever, maybe ought to think about establishing a relationship, so that he can take his date with him when he goes out and not try to manipulate strangers into the role. Yes, it takes a lot more emotional and time investment, but the pick up idea is obviously not working for him.
Another thing, if men could maybe be a little more realistic, they would be more successful. If a guy is skinny with glasses and spends 12 hours a day programing computers, he will have better luck getting a full time girl friend who is skinny, wears glasses, and loves computers. At some point he must realize that the cheerleader is not going to go out with him, and she certainly isn't going to agree to go out by the dumpsters and have sex with him because he shoved his way into her group and complimented her dress.
If you give something a try and it doesn't work, move on to the next plan.
.............................. Its why prostitution does so well and is not going anywhere, though it is typically too expensvie for most guys to use regularly so they still have to try to find a regular woman.
Really? And you completely fail to see how it is offensive to a woman to be used as a free prostitute?
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