It's A Numbers Game (date, girlfriends, married, women)
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With apologies, guys, but whenever I see a man advising to keep hitting on women until it works, ask a 100 women, etc. all I can picture is some guy starting at one end of the bar and asking each woman in there "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then moving 2 feet over to the next woman and saying "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then stepping over to the next woman and saying "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then moving on to.......
By the time they have made it all the way through the room and received 70 "no's", they only have to go to the next bar and repeat 30 more times and then they will have a success.
I am supposing that a night with only 3 drinks thrown in your face would be a success?
Repeating an action that doesn't work 100 times, is a pretty slow learning curve.
With apologies, guys, but whenever I see a man advising to keep hitting on women until it works, ask a 100 women, etc. all I can picture is some guy starting at one end of the bar and asking each woman in there "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then moving 2 feet over to the next woman and saying "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then stepping over to the next woman and saying "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then moving on to.......
By the time they have made it all the way through the room and received 70 "no's", they only have to go to the next bar and repeat 30 more times and then they will have a success.
I am supposing that a night with only 3 drinks thrown in your face would be a success?
Repeating an action that doesn't work 100 times, is a pretty slow learning curve.
I think you need to take yourself out of your familiar environment for a second.
It seems to me there are a lot of women here who don't have any contact with men who are unsuccessful with women. I can understand that. Maybe you were always good looking and popular in high school, etc, etc.
Truth is, there are a lot of men who have never had a women express interest in them. They could be 20, 30, 40, or 50 years old. In my own personal travels, I come across a lot of women in casual settings. Just yesterday, I had a pleasant conversation with several women at a gathering. They were married though, and the others were over 60. And really, even if I had interest in them, they were married as well. (BTW, off on a tangent, but older women are so nice and friendly).
So, imagine making it to 40 years old, and never having a woman express interest in you. So, if you don't want to live your life a virgin, you are going to have to be proactive and ask them out. Even if you had the best conversation with them and no matter what they look like, they will not ask you out. So, it would not be outside of the realm of possibility to have 50 nice conversations with 50 women and have none of them be interested in you for some men.
Now, I understand that some women don't get that much male attention. But I have never known any woman has not rejected at least a good number of men. In fact, a while ago, one of my facebook friends was complaining openly about not being able to find a man. It was a very desperate plea. Well, she conveniently forgot that I asked her out on a date some time ago, and she was not interested. OK. Whatever. Keep trying.
See, I think when a man down on his luck encounters a woman down on her luck, his first reaction is "Oh. Maybe a chance." Hers is "Not a chance." Not always, mind you, but in general.
I'm not trying to whine or bash women. I think women have the right to choose. But people have to try to put themselves in the mindset of guys who don't do well also.
I believe that every single man out there, with rare exception, has had a woman show interest. I also think that men who claim to have never had a woman interested are simply blind to the interest being shown.
The men that the OP refers to are men who are only looking for sex or have given up trying to find romantic compatibility completely. Whose fault is that?
It's interesting, also, that women so readily accept/assume/tell each other that, if they are not finding a compatible guy, it's because they need to fix themselves.
It might be good to set aside one month a year, kind of like NaNoWriMo, where we swap these 'solutions'. For one month, men work on themselves and women broaden their pools.
I believe that every single man out there, with rare exception, has had a woman show interest. I also think that men who claim to have never had a woman interested are simply blind to the interest being shown.
Don't get me wrong. I've had a couple of girlfriends.
But they didn't express interest in me. I had to pull the trigger first. The very same way I had to express interest in dozens of women who have rejected me. Believe you, me, the 'signs' that many of the women who rejected me gave me were much stronger. If I went into detail, I have no doubt you'd agree.
So, there is a large element of randomness involved, and thus, it's a numbers game for certain guys. Not for all guys by any stretch of the imagination. But for a number of guys, it is.
Now, I don't discount the fact that there are probably some women who never get approached as well. Very few. But still. They'd be in the same boat.
Don't get me wrong. I've had a couple of girlfriends.
But they didn't express interest in me. I had to pull the trigger first. The very same way I had to express interest in dozens of women who have rejected me. Believe you, me, the 'signs' that many of the women who rejected me gave me were much stronger. If I went into detail, I have no doubt you'd agree.
So, there is a large element of randomness involved, and thus, it's a numbers game for certain guys. Not for all guys by any stretch of the imagination. But for a number of guys, it is.
So you're saying that women do show you signs of interest, they just aren't as strong.
That's my point. You're missing signs or blatantly ignoring them out of fear.
But they didn't express interest in me. I had to pull the trigger first. The very same way I had to express interest in dozens of women who have rejected me. Believe you, me, the 'signs' that many of the women who rejected me gave me were much stronger. If I went into detail, I have no doubt you'd agree.
In your world, what does a woman expressing interest in you look like?
With apologies, guys, but whenever I see a man advising to keep hitting on women until it works, ask a 100 women, etc. all I can picture is some guy starting at one end of the bar and asking each woman in there "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then moving 2 feet over to the next woman and saying "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then stepping over to the next woman and saying "Hey, want to boink? No?" and then moving on to.......
By the time they have made it all the way through the room and received 70 "no's", they only have to go to the next bar and repeat 30 more times and then they will have a success.
I am supposing that a night with only 3 drinks thrown in your face would be a success?
Repeating an action that doesn't work 100 times, is a pretty slow learning curve.
If there's a 99% chance the answer is no with every woman, you'd only have to ask 69 women to get a 50% chance of a yes.
It's interesting, also, that women so readily accept/assume/tell each other that, if they are not finding a compatible guy, it's because they need to fix themselves.
It might be good to set aside one month a year, kind of like NaNoWriMo, where we swap these 'solutions'. For one month, men work on themselves and women broaden their pools.
It's not a good idea to beat yourself up over rejection.
I can tell you a little bit of what I've thought about when I've gotten rejected by certain woman.
-Damn, if I were funnier she'd have liked me (Have gone on to watch comedians and try and mimic comedy)
-Damn, if I were more intelligent, she'd have liked me (Gone on to try and immerse myself more in current events, politics, and art/culture)
-Damn, if I were more educated and intelligent, she'd have liked me (Actually, got a full fledged degree, partly because I thought it would make me more successful and appealing to women).
-Etc, etc
This is no way to live life. On a constant struggle to improve yourself so that others accept you. My way of living life is to be more forgiving to others, whether it be for platonic or romantic relationships.
Maybe that means I'll die alone. So be it.
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(BTW, off on a tangent, but older women are so nice and friendly).
Not always, mind you, but in general.
