It's A Numbers Game (attract, using, desirable, approach)
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The impression I have from comments like this one, throughout the forum, is that men are much more relationship-oriented than women.
This surprises me, because it is so different from the stereotype.
But what we seem to hear from many guys is that masturbation just doesn't satisfy them; they need sex with a partner.
Obviously, everyone likes partner sex better . But woman know mostly consider it not only normal but desirable to have many multi-year periods in their lives where they only masturbate. And I have never heard a woman talk about finding a partner with the urgency that so many men here do.
I'm trying to figure out why this would be. Those who are familiar with the research (not just urban myths) know that women need sex as much as men do, in terms of orgasms per week. But we also know that, for most women, finding a male partner who can get them off is pretty unusual, or takes time-consuming training. Which is not an issue in masturbation, not any more frequently for women than for men. So I'm guessing maybe that is why women don't see multiyear solo times as a big deal?
Well, if you really would prefer someone who is not her, there's no effective way to sugarcoat it. But if you had your choice of every woman in your city, and you really would pick her, even if it's because she understands your struggles (and, as you have said elsewhere, rocks your world in bed) then you could say that.
The issue is women have alot more percieved options (even if alot of thoese guys may suck in bed or be duds). When you can line up a date every other day, phycologically you think wow its a sauasage fest and im half way decent looking/cute I have my pick of the litter (for the most part). Its like taking the long route with less lights when you know its going to take longer but you get to cruise rather than stop and go and get cut off. For alot of guys it may take a month to line up a new date, so the perception is that they cant afford to be too picky because dating 12 girls a year you dont get too many opprotunities so you have to make it count, even if in reality the stock of women are much better than the stock of guys, volume means something if you dont have perfect information.
If a guy is assuming that the stock is roughly equal in relative quality and he is only getting one date a month and his female counterpart is getting a date every other day, then thats a really stressful position to be in and when a woman is willing to stick with you you hang on because she has alot of other guys lined up and you wont have another date for some time.
If good guys knew that most of their competition were undesirable then they would tolerate their one date a month but if they are assuming that the compeition if fierce and that these other guys these women are seeing have good jobs and one thing or another going for them that puts the pressure on.
What is "desirable" is subjective so the guy always has to assume that a woman could be into anyone (drunk, unemployed, etc) and even sleep with them, so its really impossible to gauge what a woman views as "quality" so all that is left is a numbers game.
I would have no issues not having sex for 6 months or a year if I had a date with a new woman every other day who were swooning over me and wanted in my pants (I might sleep the first few until I realized I could be super picky).
Its alot easier to hold out when you know you can get some if your really in a bind.
The issue is women have alot more percieved options (even if alot of thoese guys may suck in bed or be duds). When you can line up a date every other day, phycologically you think wow its a sauasage fest and im half way decent looking/cute I have my pick of the litter (for the most part). Its like taking the long route with less lights when you know its going to take longer but you get to cruise rather than stop and go and get cut off. For alot of guys it may take a month to line up a new date, so the perception is that they cant afford to be too picky because dating 12 girls a year you dont get too many opprotunities so you have to make it count,
Single women i know might date 2 guys a year, not 12. And not 300 or whatever you are thinking.
This idea that women can get guys anytime is an enduring myth, but not reality based. For one thing, women have to think about safety.
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even if in reality the stock of women are much better than the stock of guys,
Heh. Sometimes seems that way, doesn't it?
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If good guys knew that most of their competition were undesirable then they would tolerate their one date a month but if they are assuming that the compeition if fierce and that these other guys these women are seeing have good jobs and one thing or another going for them that puts the pressure on.
Why would they assume that instead of asking?
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I would have no issues not having sex for 6 months or a year if I had a date with a new woman every other day who were swooning over me and wanted in my pants (I might sleep the first few until I realized I could be super picky).
Its a lot easier to hold out when you know you can get some if your really in a bind.
How would you date if you knew that, with 99 out of 100 women, sex would not include any activites that were likely to result in you having an orgasm? And that there was a much higher likelihood of gay rape?
It's simply not true that women can get something that you would define as sex if it were happening to you, easily.
Haven't read the book, but the stuff i was saying about goals and failure is straight from PUA websites, a few years ago.
I just want to make sure that you, and other readers, know that when women speak against PUA, we are talking about the main mass of it -- the manipulation, misogyny, and the way it makes men so unattractive -- not the bits you found that were actually useful. There is a lot of disappointment among women at how PUA as a whole has taken so many appealing, sexy men and made them repulsive. It's really a shame when that happens!
I just want to set the record straight here for "PUA". It gets a very bad rep but most of it is just about being confident and comfortable with yourself to make yourself appealing to women
That's all it's really about - from a guy who has read a ton of PUA stuff in the past
I just want to set the record straight here for "PUA". It gets a very bad rep but most of it is just about being confident and comfortable with yourself to make yourself appealing to women
That's all it's really about - from a guy who has read a ton of PUA stuff in the past
forget about it man, you are never going to convince non-believer. plus if you have read PUA materials, you know women are the keepers of traditional dating rules and anything out of the ordinary, such as PUA, is going to get splashed as bad. so dont fight it, let them bash it.
in my case, i took those course 10 years ago and women never know the difference because much of the mindset has been integrated many years now.
Single women i know might date 2 guys a year, not 12. And not 300 or whatever you are thinking.
This idea that women can get guys anytime is an enduring myth, but not reality based. For one thing, women have to think about safety.
Heh. Sometimes seems that way, doesn't it?
Why would they assume that instead of asking?
How would you date if you knew that, with 99 out of 100 women, sex would not include any activites that were likely to result in you having an orgasm? And that there was a much higher likelihood of gay rape?
It's simply not true that women can get something that you would define as sex if it were happening to you, easily.
I was making the numbers up but using a much higher value for the women than for the men. This is of course assuming that online dating (pof, match, etc) are somewhat reflective of what dating overall is like (of course not exactly but fits the pattern). If that is the case then im not too far off as women get barraged with messages and some guys can literally get nothing or very little. As I said there is a potential quality issue there with all the guys that are messaging but better to sort through 20 messages a day and find a few decent ones than to cling to the one woman who actually responded favorably to you as a guy. This friend of yours was either facially disfigured in an accident or is not trying very hard to date, if a woman REALLY wants to date its super easy for her to put herself out there, for a guy not so much.
Also the over all gender ratio from 20-35 is in drastic favor of women. It is also just as hard for a guy to find a women who will do things in bed that most men enjoy.
The bottom line is I would rather be the filtER than the filterED, of course I did hold fast to my sex standards but even the women who I filtered it was of little consequence to them because they had a lot of guys lined up.
forget about it man, you are never going to convince non-believer. plus if you have read PUA materials, you know women are the keepers of traditional dating rules and anything out of the ordinary, such as PUA, is going to get splashed as bad. so dont fight it, let them bash it.
in my case, i took those course 10 years ago and women never know the difference because much of the mindset has been integrated many years now.
You must be kidding, despite your username! It's obvious in every post you write.
For example, your first paragraph in the above post: pure PUA-style misogyny. I have never seen it anywhere else. No-one outside of PUA thinks women make the dating rules in our culture.
The problem is that you are so deeply immersed in that world that you actually think the bizarre PUA conceptulizations are reality. It's not only the good parts, that you absorbed.
while you may not believe, i am a slightly different person IRL. and this is the only place i talk about it. im rusty so im trying to get back into dating form by yapping with you guys.
anyway, i dont make any apologies for who i am, nor do i have any shame about it. or in this case, any need for approval from others. i am who i am. and happily so. and i have no complaints in the dating and relationship department either. you learn from everyone you encounter, and every relationship you have.
it's funny, none of my dates or female friends that i have ever comment on my "PUA game". yesterday i showed a friend a sample of my text game for feedback and she couldnt stop laughing. said anyone who didnt get is a dud. but then again she is a young hottie, different generation than most female posters on here. and i can see why the post-monapausal set finds it unsavory. oh well. doesn't mean i lacks any redeeming value for some, despite your perspective.
and thanks for the misogyny shot. it so sad that you have to hurl character insults to make your point just because someone has a different point of view. and i don't hate women, far from it. and have had many meaningful relationships to prove it.
The issue is women have alot more percieved options (even if alot of thoese guys may suck in bed or be duds). When you can line up a date every other day, phycologically you think wow its a sauasage fest and im half way decent looking/cute I have my pick of the litter (for the most part). Its like taking the long route with less lights when you know its going to take longer but you get to cruise rather than stop and go and get cut off. For alot of guys it may take a month to line up a new date, so the perception is that they cant afford to be too picky because dating 12 girls a year you dont get too many opprotunities so you have to make it count, even if in reality the stock of women are much better than the stock of guys, volume means something if you dont have perfect information.
If a guy is assuming that the stock is roughly equal in relative quality and he is only getting one date a month and his female counterpart is getting a date every other day, then thats a really stressful position to be in and when a woman is willing to stick with you you hang on because she has alot of other guys lined up and you wont have another date for some time.
If good guys knew that most of their competition were undesirable then they would tolerate their one date a month but if they are assuming that the compeition if fierce and that these other guys these women are seeing have good jobs and one thing or another going for them that puts the pressure on.
What is "desirable" is subjective so the guy always has to assume that a woman could be into anyone (drunk, unemployed, etc) and even sleep with them, so its really impossible to gauge what a woman views as "quality" so all that is left is a numbers game.
I would have no issues not having sex for 6 months or a year if I had a date with a new woman every other day who were swooning over me and wanted in my pants (I might sleep the first few until I realized I could be super picky).
Its alot easier to hold out when you know you can get some if your really in a bind.
Untrue. It just hasn't happened yet. It means nothing beyond that.
Don't listen to him. He's your atypical internet douche.
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. But woman know mostly consider it not only normal but desirable to have many multi-year periods in their lives where they only masturbate. And I have never heard a woman talk about finding a partner with the urgency that so many men here do.
