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Have you asked yourself what you would do if you did find 'the one' and she subsequently gained 20 pounds? Not uncommon as we age.
I understand your disappointment but personally have never found any individual alive who wan't interesting in some way. You may have had a good time even if you didn't want to pursue it further.
I had a guy get angry when I was thinner than expected. At the time of my photos, I was a size 13/14... had F cup boobs.... and was always that girl with the pretty face, but was a little bit extra. I lost about 40 pounds from eating better and conditioning with my college softball team in about 2-3 month time frame, so the photos were about 5 months old at the time. I think the dude was mad my boobs were a lot smaller than in photos from losing all of the weight!! I was about an 6-8 when I lost the extra but a good deal of it went from that region.... but he walked right out on me! Like walked in, saw me, said he had to go to the bathroom and left!
I spent all day crying to a female friend on my team that I lost the weight and now must look worse. Sadly, I go through up and down spurts now depending on when I can fit working out in, but am lucky that I have someone who loves me every way that I am. The funny thing -- he is short and I always thought that was a deal breaker for me, but in the end it was such a stupid, shallow concern....
What did you want him to do... Waste her time? Come on now
He could've led her on, acted like he liked her, got some ass and eventually disappear like MANY men do.
Or he could have sat down, had a drink or two, chatted briefly and if he still wanted out, thanked her and left. But, again, for her, he did the right thing, though she might still not know it.
Personally, I think it's about 10% because of the lying, and 90% because the person isn't attractive. I mean, if a woman lied and was thinner, younger and more attractive when you showed up, would you be pissed and leave because she lied?
You made a good point. I agree here and repped you for this post.
Still, the OP is under no obligation to act like a nice guy to a chick he has zero interest in seeing again. If you met a guy from online, and you knew he had zero interest in getting into a relationship with you, would you want him to pretend to be nice and continue with the date? Only a person with zero self-esteem would want that.
Everybody is getting mad at the OP for the way he reacted to her: he looked her up and down, said it wouldn't work out, and left. What exactly should he have done? He would have rejected her anyway. A nice rejection can be just as devastating to someone as a crude one.
You made a good point. I agree here and repped you for this post.
Still, the OP is under no obligation to act like a nice guy to a chick he has zero interest in seeing again. If you met a guy from online, and you knew he had zero interest in getting into a relationship with you, would you want him to pretend to be nice and continue with the date? Only a person with zero self-esteem would want that.
Everybody is getting mad at the OP for the way he reacted to her: he looked her up and down, said it wouldn't work out, and left. What exactly should he have done? He would have rejected her anyway. A nice rejection can be just as devastating to someone as a crude one.
This has nothing to do with zero self-esteem. This is clinical douchebag behaviour.
In fact, only those with low self-esteem will act this way because they suddenly realize they are selling themselves short (based on their standards for the opposite sex, no matter even if the guy is 10 on the 1-10 scale) and it possibly happened before and angers the guy that he is never able to meet his expectations because the ones he wants never respond or goes for other guys who are way up on the totem pole.
You made a good point. I agree here and repped you for this post.
Still, the OP is under no obligation to act like a nice guy to a chick he has zero interest in seeing again. If you met a guy from online, and you knew he had zero interest in getting into a relationship with you, would you want him to pretend to be nice and continue with the date? Only a person with zero self-esteem would want that.
Everybody is getting mad at the OP for the way he reacted to her: he looked her up and down, said it wouldn't work out, and left. What exactly should he have done? He would have rejected her anyway. A nice rejection can be just as devastating to someone as a crude one.
I've been on more online dates than I can remember... it's been the ONLY way I've dated for the past 4-ish years and not once has it turned into a relationship. Even if there was no chemistry, even if I wasn't into the guy or vice versa I still stayed and chatted a bit or had a drink/coffee because that's what we agreed to do and I follow through on my arrangements.
I would NEVER look a person up and down and then leave. How horrible. The OP is basically telling that woman that she's only as good as she looks, and because she isn't attractive to him she's worthless. People who treat others like that are pathetic.
Or he could have sat down, had a drink or two, chatted briefly and if he still wanted out, thanked her and left. But, again, for her, he did the right thing, though she might still not know it.
What purpose would that have served? Who's going to pay for the drinks? Why should I waste time and money on somebody I have zero interest in?
You made a good point. I agree here and repped you for this post.
Still, the OP is under no obligation to act like a nice guy to a chick he has zero interest in seeing again. If you met a guy from online, and you knew he had zero interest in getting into a relationship with you, would you want him to pretend to be nice and continue with the date? Only a person with zero self-esteem would want that.
Everybody is getting mad at the OP for the way he reacted to her: he looked her up and down, said it wouldn't work out, and left. What exactly should he have done? He would have rejected her anyway. A nice rejection can be just as devastating to someone as a crude one.
Exactly! If I meet a chick and she wasn't feeling my looks, I would want her to tell me straight up, and not waste my time, or lead me on thinking there was something there.
What purpose would that have served? Who's going to pay for the drinks? Why should I waste time and money on somebody I have zero interest in?
Why is it a waste of time to sit down and chat with someone whom you agreed to meet? You're both there, you'd intended to have a drink anyway, and you both liked each other enough in your prior interactions to want to get together. Be stand-up guy and follow through.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 09-19-2013 at 10:50 AM..
This has nothing to do with zero self-esteem. This is clinical douchebag behaviour.
In fact, only those with low self-esteem will act this way because they suddenly realize they are selling themselves short (based on their standards for the opposite sex, no matter even if the guy is 10 on the 1-10 scale) and it possibly happened before and angers the guy that he is never able to meet his expectations because the ones he wants never respond or goes for other guys who are way up on the totem pole.
Here's the main issue: the OP saw her and was completely turned off. If you went out on a date and the person saw you and was completely turned off, how would you want them to react? Would you want them to fake interest by chatting with you a little before leaving? Or would you want them to call off the date right there? In both cases, the date ends up rejecting you.
Rejection is rejection. A nice rejection can hurt someone just as bad as a harsh one.
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