Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes I'm the least classy person here because I agree with Capitol. I suspect most of you lie about your dating profiles. I don't care since I have a boyfriend and I didn't even find him online. He hates sleazy behavior as well and he thinks lying about a photo on a profile is wrong.
Thank you for addressing one of the primary problems of people who were raised to believe they are special snowflakes whose time and lives are more important than anyone else's.
Ye gods, the entitlement and gross lack of common decency is astounding. Makes me wonder where their parents were in disciplining them and teaching them any kind of manners at all.
What's the point of chatting for 5-10 minutes? As capitol said, that's not even a date. That's frivolous small talk.
Imagine if you were in the shoes of capitol's date. The guy from online meets you, looks at you, and thinks, "Ugh. This chick does not look like her photos. I feel she deliberately mislead me. That both shows she's a liar and has low self-esteem. But I'm going to be a nice guy and chat with her for ten minutes before leaving." Then after the date is over a friend asks, "So, how was it?" And you say, "He chatted with me for 10 minutes before leaving. That must mean he found me unattractive from the start. But he wanted to be a nice guy by making pointless small talk to let me down easy. And I appreciate him for that."
I understand how a nice rejection can seem better than a direct one. But a rejection is still a rejection and you still end up feeling unwanted. In the latter case, the guy may have been chatting with you and been nice. But deep down he would rather be someplace else. All he did was give you superficial niceness to cover up his desire to run.
I don't think not finding the woman attractive is a superficial reason. In order for the OP to reject her outright, she must have looked significantly different than her profile pics. If her hair was a different color or she was wearing glasses, then I highly doubt he'd run off like that. No, I think her looks were massively different, not superficially different.
What is 'massively' different to me may not be the same 'massively different' to him. He said she was 20 or 30 lbs heavier, which unless she's 5' tall probably wouldn't make much of a difference.
I've been on plenty of first dates where the guy blatantly lied on his profile but I'm not a jerk and I stayed 20 minutes and had a drink and some conversation before parting ways. My parents raised me to be a decent person so I'm not going to be a jerk and just walk out because someone isn't attractive enough for me to sit down with for 20 minutes. I know I'm a good conversationalist and I enjoy talking to people, so to me sitting at a bar/coffee place for a bit and chatting isn't a huge inconvenience. I guess I'm just not as entitled and self important as some of the people on here.
What's the point of chatting for 5-10 minutes? As capitol said, that's not even a date. That's frivolous small talk.
Imagine if you were in the shoes of capitol's date. The guy from online meets you, looks at you, and thinks, "Ugh. This chick does not look like her photos. I feel she deliberately mislead me. That both shows she's a liar and has low self-esteem. But I'm going to be a nice guy and chat with her for ten minutes before leaving." Then after the date is over a friend asks, "So, how was it?" And you say, "He chatted with me for 10 minutes before leaving. That must mean he found me unattractive from the start. But he wanted to be a nice guy by making pointless small talk to let me down easy. And I appreciate him for that."
Mislead is right. Some can't even keep their own name straight. It's always a game.
What's the point of chatting for 5-10 minutes? As capitol said, that's not even a date. That's frivolous small talk.
Imagine if you were in the shoes of capitol's date. The guy from online meets you, looks at you, and thinks, "Ugh. This chick does not look like her photos. I feel she deliberately mislead me. That both shows she's a liar and has low self-esteem. But I'm going to be a nice guy and chat with her for ten minutes before leaving." Then after the date is over a friend asks, "So, how was it?" And you say, "He chatted with me for 10 minutes before leaving. That must mean he found me unattractive from the start. But he wanted to be a nice guy by making pointless small talk to let me down easy. And I appreciate him for that."
Interestingly, that's exactly how I met a good male friend of mine.... who I then introduced to his now girlfriend who I went to college with.
He wasn't into me physically but we got along really well. Our paths crossed and he was a decent person who didn't just write me off because in person I wasn't his cup of tea. Because of that, he now has a girlfriend that he met through me.
So, by not being an ass you could be opening yourself up to friendships and a potentially larger social circle.
Of course, this means you'd have to look at women as actual people and not just as potential people to date/have sex with.
What ever happened to just being DECENT to others? What the OP did was horribly rude. Having a 20-30 minute conversation would not have killed you, OP.
In one of your earlier posts, you asked if Donald Trump would waste him time talking to someone.... well, you are NOT Donald Trump. Although it seems you have an overstuffed, high opinion of yourself though.
OP, would you have thought it was acceptable for someone to do what you did to someone you really cared about? A sister? Your mom? A good friend?
Of the people who think what the OP did was fine, how many of you would be OK with approaching someone who looks you up and down and turns away with a flat rejection? Or are feelings only important when they're yours?
What ever happened to just being DECENT to others? What the OP did was horribly rude. Having a 20-30 minute conversation would not have killed you, OP.
In one of your earlier posts, you asked if Donald Trump would waste him time talking to someone.... well, you are NOT Donald Trump. Although it seems you have an overstuffed, high opinion of yourself though.
OP, would you have thought it was accpetable for someone to do what you did to someone you really cared about? A sister? Your mom? A good friend?
I've seen far far worse, let me tell you. It comforts me in the end. They have to live with the guilt.
Should kill 'em inside but it doesn't.
It's like tiptoeing through the red hot charcoal and dancing the *** with a smile.
What is he supposed to do? Waste his time and money acting like he likes her or is interested? Maybe it would have be better if he acted like he liked her, slept with her, then dumped her. Would that make you people happy?
What makes you think she would have slept with him????
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
