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I can't believe I actually agree with something OP says.
I personally do not feel single parents should date, if their kids are younger than, say 12-13.
Up till then they are very attached to you and any attempt to bring in another party is almost doomed to failure.
Once the kids get their own social lives they stop giving a fig about what you're doing - date away.
I was a single mother for 10 years. Kids are grown and gone and I'm still single - by choice.
I'm amazed these mothers can even be bothered with another guy after what they've been through (divorce, desertion) but some women are needy like that or maybe just slow learners.
I'm a single father and I have to disagree with your post.
Not sure about your situation but when I became a single father it certainly wasn't by choice (she ran off and disappeared). My son was only 2 at the time and the longer I stayed home alone the more depressed I got. I had to get back out there and date again. I needed a companion in my life and I made sure that I mostly dated single moms. Reason being that only another single parent will understand what it's like having to raise your kids on your own. Luckily I met my girlfriend who is also a single mom and we have been together two years now.
There was just no way I could have just remained single and dateless for 10 years. I would have ended up an antisocial misfit after all that time. It was hard enough getting back into the dating scene after being married for so many years and I can't imagine it getting any easier the longer you wait.
Bottom line is that single parents are still human beings that seek companionship and intimacy. Not all of us can just turn all those feelings and desires off.
I'm trying to figure out this perception that most single moms don't work or on welfare. It must be an age thing, because most single women I know AND single women's profiles I have seen online, they have jobs, and many of them are professional. Also many single mothers and fathers, didn't plan on being that way, divorce does happen. And folks who keep asking, where is the dad? I'm sure the father is in the picture raising thier child, best they can, just as the mother of their child is. Don't let the Maury Povich show make you think that kids who are staying with one parent, are only being raised by one parent. And to answer your question, many single mothers have no problems getting dates. Just like many single dads don't have a problem getting dates.
I'm a single father and I have to disagree with your post.
Not sure about your situation but when I became a single father it certainly wasn't by choice (she ran off and disappeared). My son was only 2 at the time and the longer I stayed home alone the more depressed I got. I had to get back out there and date again. I needed a companion in my life and I made sure that I mostly dated single moms. Reason being that only another single parent will understand what it's like having to raise your kids on your own. Luckily I met my girlfriend who is also a single mom and we have been together two years now.
There was just no way I could have just remained single and dateless for 10 years. I would have ended up an antisocial misfit after all that time. It was hard enough getting back into the dating scene after being married for so many years and I can't imagine it getting any easier the longer you wait.
Bottom line is that single parents are still human beings that seek companionship and intimacy. Not all of us can just turn all those feelings and desires off.
Agreed. Just because we are single parents doesn't mean we don't crave intimacy and want relationships. If someone wants to be a single parent and not date until there child is 12 then more power to them, but my life is not soley 100% devoted to my role as a single parent. I have many roles: investment professional, daughter, friend, etc. and my life while centered around my son also has many other components. I, like any normal human being, want to have meaningful, loving relationships. Of course I need to be cautious of who I choose to pursue relationships with, and also make sure I am being a good parent to my son, but there is a way to date, have a semblance of a social life and have a career while being a single parent. Some people choose to focus solely on one, but I choose to balance all three.
Single mom here. I am a working professional... make $85k a year and own my own home (not on food stamps or in poverty). I work full time, pick up my child from school, live a normal life. Etc. I did OLD and never had any problem getting dates or offers to date. To be fair, sometimes after a date a man wouldn't be interested (usually because it was an older man with grown kids who didn't realize how young mine was.. which always blows my mind, at my age how old do they think my child would be?). But they knew I had a child.
My biggest problem with OLD (and why I quit) where the sheer number of married men looking to cheat and young guys who wanted to hook up for sex. I am not interested in either. Both types, while I know I can meet them offline, seem a lot more brazen online.
When do I date? Well, I have split custody with her father--so when she's with him, I go out. Easy. I am not sure why I should wait around and do nothing just because I am the mother. Her father certainly doesn't (nor should he). He's got a live-in boyfriend already... I am just out dating.
Right now I am dating a man who is divorced, like me, but who doesn't have kids of his own. Doesn't seem to bother him... in fact, he knows all about my child and even sends gifts (doesn't need to, but he does).
Last edited by jillabean; 10-14-2013 at 12:44 PM..
I'm a single father and I have to disagree with your post.
Not sure about your situation but when I became a single father it certainly wasn't by choice (she ran off and disappeared). My son was only 2 at the time and the longer I stayed home alone the more depressed I got. I had to get back out there and date again. I needed a companion in my life and I made sure that I mostly dated single moms. Reason being that only another single parent will understand what it's like having to raise your kids on your own. Luckily I met my girlfriend who is also a single mom and we have been together two years now.
There was just no way I could have just remained single and dateless for 10 years. I would have ended up an antisocial misfit after all that time. It was hard enough getting back into the dating scene after being married for so many years and I can't imagine it getting any easier the longer you wait.
Bottom line is that single parents are still human beings that seek companionship and intimacy. Not all of us can just turn all those feelings and desires off.
A woman's child should be her #1 priority and a guy that can't understand this should not be anywhere near a single mom.
Single mom's can get dates because it's honestly not a big deal. Most are not looking for a caregiver and free paycheck.
A person's job will come before their S.O, they aren't going to skip work because their SO wants to have lunch just like a single mom isn't going to neglect her child because some clingy boyfriend wants more time.
PERFECT!!!! I'm so happy to see someone with a mature reasonable point of view.
I'm a single father and I have to disagree with your post.
Not sure about your situation but when I became a single father it certainly wasn't by choice (she ran off and disappeared). My son was only 2 at the time and the longer I stayed home alone the more depressed I got. I had to get back out there and date again. I needed a companion in my life and I made sure that I mostly dated single moms. Reason being that only another single parent will understand what it's like having to raise your kids on your own. Luckily I met my girlfriend who is also a single mom and we have been together two years now.
There was just no way I could have just remained single and dateless for 10 years. I would have ended up an antisocial misfit after all that time. It was hard enough getting back into the dating scene after being married for so many years and I can't imagine it getting any easier the longer you wait.
Bottom line is that single parents are still human beings that seek companionship and intimacy. Not all of us can just turn all those feelings and desires off.
So why are these single mom's work a low wage job?
They are also in Welfare and Food Stamps.
Not all single mothers are on welfare and food stamps and have low wage jobs.
I know some single mothers who are nurses, paralegals, and I know one who owns there own business.
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