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One of my dates has recently asked me about being his gf and I declined it, said I'll think about it. I don't want to because then that would be cheating and I wouldn't want that type of reputation nor feel responsible for hurting someone. I don't want to commit; I just want to have fun without them knowing this.
I don't see what's wrong with it. I wouldn't expect someone to be exclusive with me if we weren't committed... it's just logical.
Agreed but none of the guys know. If it's established in the beginning that the relationship isn't exclusive then hey, date 10 people but one guy thinks this is a committed relationship. He asked the OP to be his gf.
So basically, you are lieing to three guys about what you are doing.
I would say then that yes, what you are doing is wrong and bad.
If you not exclusive, there's technically wrong with dating more than one person. But lieing to cover it up? That is wrong. Ideally, you admit to all three guys you are seeing other people so at least they know the situation. 2 months into one guy is getting to be a while to date multiple people, unless a casual relationship has been predefined.
Such is life.
I dated a women like this. She was extremely honest and said right up front that she would not be tied down to just one man. I was intrigued by her and found her honesty and approach very refreshing. She said she had a Defacto 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy and would say "do you really want to hear the answer to that?" when asking where she was last night.
To the OP. Being honest about it from the get go will make all involved happy.
No, it's not and one time I accidentally confused guy 1 for guy 3. I quickly invented an excuse and told him it was some cousin I was expecting a call from and kind of elaborated it.
I don't see anything wrong in dating multiple people at the same time (its called dating, ya know) I do have a problem when the dating is carried on for 2months or more. 1-2 dates and on to the next is fine, but for months.....well, that's deceptive, imo
But you know what, OP? do whatever you want, because apparently, you just dont give a shiit.
Is there a reason you're already lying to them? Why not tell them you're not interested in anything serious and just want to see how it goes? It clears the air, allows you both to know about each other...er, rather, all o fthem (without being guarded), and you don't have to go to City Data in an attempt to clear your conscience.
There's nothing wrong with dating multiple people, but there must be full disclosure. You do not want to give someone the wrong idea, because they will then have the expectation of moving forward (case in point: dude asked you to be his girlfriend).
Is there any other reason why you're not telling them? Or are you expecting a few free meals?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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If you're not in a committed relationship to any one of them, no, of course what you are doing isn't wrong. You are dating and not within a monogamous relationship. Just don't lie when asked and play safe.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
Thank you!
The thing you have to remember is that most people will assume you are exclusive unless you state otherwise. Frankly, I think most people know that. This OP is either a fake or a total narcissist.
Sorry, this is very very incorrect. You assume you are NOT exclusive until it is declared otherwise. Whether it is 4 dates or two years of dating. There are never assumptions to be made here.
I think I got a bit carried away and the days went by quickly and I would forget to tell them I'm seeing someone else. I was going to tell them last month but forgot.
I guess I should inform them and hopefully they still want to see me but I don't know. The one that asked me to be his gf will sure be turned off completely.
He probably will, but if he's looking for someone to be exclusive with, and he thinks it's you, do you think that's very fair?..You should have been up front right off the bat when you dated these men ,so they would know what to expect ,and wouldn't be hurt...some people really want commitment and monogamy...some don't. You should respect those that do and stick to those (like yourself) that don't...you'd know who they were if you informed them (be honest with them) and they could make the choice.
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