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thank you for all your answers, but since all your replies are pretty different, i guess i will just have to take it case by case.
would age have anything to do with it? these girls have all been in the 21-23 age range.
Sounds like you didn't have a particularly deep or long-lasting relationship with any of them. All forms of physical intimacy are on a spectrum. So you might be willing to hold hands with them, but not necessarily do X wild sex act. Or you might be okay with some forms of stimulation but aren't ready for others. It sounds like you were hoping to skip ahead to step 10 out of 10 right away, and your partners were probably hoping you guys would move more gradually. Make it to step 1 the first night, step 2 the second, etc. Or at least, get to know each other better before sex. Despite the impression you may get from popular media, not everyone views it as impersonally as a handshake. Some people actually want to have a special, intimate bond with someone before choosing to share that.
It's foreplay... it's also a type of sexual activity, but it doesn't mean there's going to be vaginal intercourse. It never has to mean that, if that's not what BOTH people want.
I don't think I'd personally take off all my clothes with someone I wasn't willing to have sexual intercourse with (though I can recall my youth and being mostly undressed and not having intercourse). Still... I would think that any man (or woman!) should assume that intercourse isn't guaranteed until both parties have agreed that it's happening. Keeps expectations in check.
It used to be when two people got naked and they were doing stuff to each other they were gonna have sex and it was understood they were gonna have sex. That was apoarently why people used to get naked. Or do people today get naked and apparently not have sex? What? He's on one side of the room. And her on the other texting pics of their genitals telling each other what they wanna do to one another someday?
It used to be when two people got naked and they were doing stuff to each other they were gonna have sex and it was understood they were gonna have sex. That was apoarently why people used to get naked. Or do people today get naked and apparently not have sex? What? He's on one side of the room. And her on the other texting pics of their genitals telling each other what they wanna do to one another someday?
Eh. Who cares? You go by what the other person tells you.
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It used to be when two people got naked and they were doing stuff to each other they were gonna have sex and it was understood they were gonna have sex.
Mod cut: Off topic.
There are no non-verbal contracts implied in removing one's blouse these days. Guess you'll have to come into the 21st century.
so i've gone on dates with several girls where we do pretty much everything except for sexual intercourse.
we take all our clothes off, we do all types of foreplay, but when i say "i'm going to put a condom on", they stop me and say "no intercourse". and it ends right there. we go to sleep and we don't have sex.
why do girls do this? i'm really confused.
if they are willing to do everything else, why not go ahead and have sexual intercourse?
You are friend zoned or they aren't attracted to you.
I'd rather have it be the later so I can move on.
I have no time for female "friends" who secretly despise me and my other REAL male friends anyways.
I assume it b/c once I get that far I will not stop--if I'm holding off on sex he will get some standing up making out with all clothes on and I won't go to his house till I'm ready. There will be some verbal enticements though so he'll know I'm interested in that part of a relationship. But, I think I'm an odd duck b/c I love love love what you said most women don't get off on.
In the movie Kinsey, Alfred Kinsey (played by Liam Neeson), interviews a young married couple who are having sexual problems. It went something like this:
Kinsey: Did you engage in sexual touching before your marriage?
Couple: Yes.
Kinsey: Did you enjoy it?
Couple: Yes.
Kinsey: Did you have intercourse before your marriage?
Couple: No.
Kinsey: Do you have intercourse now?
Couple: Yes.
Kinsey: Do you enjoy it?
Husband: Yes.
Wife: (silence)
Kinsey (to wife): Do you enjoy intercourse?
Wife: (silence, look of discomfort)
Husband: She's frigid!
Kinsey: Do you engage in sexual touching, but without intercourse, now that you are married?
Couple: No.
Kinsey: Why not?
Husband: Because we have REAL sex now, so we don't need to do that anymore.
Leave them alone and let them tease another guy, not you.
Some women love getting a guy aroused and then holding back on purpose.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 11-05-2013 at 12:58 PM..
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