Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've been dating a man for about 2.5 years and am 13 weeks pregnant. We have a good relationship but he always told me that he didn't have emotional feelings for me; just more like a best friend. Now that he has found out about the pregnancy he is begging me to marry him. But I don't know if I can see it, because I know he would not consider it otherwise. The pregnancy was not planned but is very wanted after I got over the shock. We are both early 40's so its not like we are kids. I just don't know if I can face being married to someone that I love very much and knowing he does not love me... for the rest of my life.
Everybody has a different definition of love.
Mine would be what you have. A best friend who happens to own a vagina. OK, it was a little crude, but you get the point.
What most people consider love is an amalgamation of hormones and emotions which may be completely arbitrary directed towards a person who could be completely wrong for them.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
In your situation, yes, I would consider marriage.
There are worse things in the world than being married to your best friend!
He sounds like a good guy, someone eager to accept and love your child.
All babies deserve a chance to be born into a stable home, and if he does think of you like a best friend, he does love you (though I get that you want romantic love too).
And not that you can count on it, but many a man has fallen in love with their best friend, especially once they watch them go through pregnancy and become a mother.
Best of luck to you!
I don't believe I just read this post from you. Sorry, but love is needed for a marriage. Best friends and love are totally different things. If there is any question of love, do NOT marry.
I don't believe I just read this post from you. Sorry, but love is needed for a marriage. Best friends and love are totally different things. If there is any question of love, do NOT marry.
In a marriage, the "love" will ebb and flow. The honeymoon love will disappear eventually. Times will change, you will change, feelings will evolve...and what holds you together as the tides change is your commitment and your deeply ingrained friendship (which btw, involves love). Also good sex helps.
In a marriage, the "love" will ebb and flow. The honeymoon love will disappear eventually. Times will change, you will change, feelings will evolve...and what holds you together as the tides change is your commitment and your deeply ingrained friendship (which btw, involves love). Also good sex helps.
Thank you.
These can be difficult concepts for those who have yet to marry to grasp.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
In a marriage, the "love" will ebb and flow. The honeymoon love will disappear eventually. Times will change, you will change, feelings will evolve...and what holds you together as the tides change is your commitment and your deeply ingrained friendship (which btw, involves love). Also good sex helps.
My opinion stands. No love, not friendship, LOVE, no good marriage. Straight and plain.
I think love and friendship are important in a marriage. They are both important in my own anyway. I also know that both grow and change over time.
That said, I would be hesitant to recommend the OP agree to a marriage to someone where she doubted that love is there, or would develop. Although it could grow, it also sounds like a potential recipe for resentment and resulting in a toxic situation (if that love did not materialize after the fact).
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
