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There are worse things in the world than being married to your best friend!
I nominate this statement for Wisdom of the Day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki
Marriage is hard enough when two people really love each other.
I would opine that the strongest marriages are precisely those contracted in the absence of love. It’s more important to grow into love 10 years after the wedding, than in the months before the wedding.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
Whomever said that if you have reservations, don't, is spot on, regardless of the nature of the reservations.
I have reservations about the stock market going up, but I still invest. I have reservations about traffic accidents or getting stranded in a broken car, but I still drive. I have reservations about spoiled food or toxic additives, but I still eat. If we desist from any major decision merely because we harbor reservations, we would be left with the passive alternative. That's not always bad. Sometimes instead of doing something it's wisest to just stand there. But what if a solid opportunity is foregone?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdallas
So his underlying motivation for marriage is a rather selfish one.
Are not most of our motivations ultimately selfish? How many people would make charitable contributions, if those contributions were not tax-deductible and did not augment one’s stature in the community? True, marriage ought not to strictly be about the self. But the whole premise of this thread is what’s best for the OP, not what’s best for her boyfriend. Is that not already, by definition, selfish? Selfishness in moderate is no vice!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage 80
You two have the foundations for a good marriage: compatability, friendship, respect, and you like each other. These things are more important than gushy, butterflies-in-the-stomach feelings associated with falling in love.
Exactly! Best-friends can fall in love. How many lovers lack the core precepts of friendship?
and knowing he does not love me... for the rest of my life.
Everyone who has been with someone else for 2.5 years has some kind of emotional feelings for that person. The question is how strong those feelings are. Do you know for sure that he doesn't love you? Because it seems to me that he may love you but he is just not honest about it. He may be afraid of it.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
So...lemme understand the jist of this thread's responses...
Ok to hang out with and sleep with and travel with and be best friends with a guy...until she pregnant...and then they shouldn't do everything they can to provide a stable, loving home?
Huh?
Two "best friends" getting married does not automatically equal loving home. If there is a major question of whether one loves the other, from personal experience, it is only a matter of time before all hell breaks loose.
Two "best friends" getting married does not automatically equal loving home. If there is a major question of whether one loves the other, from personal experience, it is only a matter of time before all hell breaks loose.
My question is...if they are already great partners, what has now changed now that the stakes are greater?
We are of different "races" I suppose... He is Indian and I am white American.
I DID break up with him several times. But we were both so miserable apart, and I just let him talk me into seeing him again. He always know just what to say to me
is he American indian or from india ? could be some culture influences going on that you may not be aware of.
Oh God, Op, you deserve to be loved. So what you are pregnant, you guys can still raise the child together without getting married. Find a man who is crazily in love with you. Don't "settle" with this guy.
is he American indian or from india ? could be some culture influences going on that you may not be aware of.
Yes.
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