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You think so? I dunno, it's kinda just how the cards have fallen. I'm in my mid 30s , I don't have a lot of friends in general. I moved away and back again, people are busy with their careers or are doing the married/couple/family thing. I hang with who I get along with and who gets along with me, and that's a pretty diverse group anyway: different ages, races, backgrounds, interests. It's not for the lack of being dynamic and open minded on my part. That's for sure. I mean, I live in Phoenix and have no Latino friends here either (statistically I should, right?), but I do back in Portland. I chalk it up to randomization in small samplings.
I mean, what makes a guy friend material to women or not? To me, they're just people and I treat them as such. I've considered all my past relationships as friendships as well, and they've functioned that way. So, what reason do they have to avoid me as one? I dunno, I'm kind of with the last poster on this: Historically they've either wanted to date me / get in my pants, or really didn't make the effort to do establish anything platonic.
You think so? I dunno, it's kinda just how the cards have fallen. I'm in my mid 30s , I don't have a lot of friends in general. I moved away and back again, people are busy with their careers or are doing the married/couple/family thing. I hang with who I get along with and who gets along with me, and that's a pretty diverse group anyway: different ages, races, backgrounds, interests. It's not for the lack of being dynamic and open minded on my part. That's for sure. I mean, I live in Phoenix and have no Latino friends here either (statistically I should, right?), but I do back in Portland. I chalk it up to randomization in small samplings.
I mean, what makes a guy friend material to women or not? To me, they're just people and I treat them as such. I've considered all my past relationships as friendships as well, and they've functioned that way. So, what reason do they have to avoid me as one? I dunno, I'm kind of with the last poster on this: Historically they've either wanted to date me / get in my pants, or really didn't make the effort to do establish anything platonic.
My experience with platonic relationships with women have been similar to yours, Variant, at least after high school. In high school you were constantly around people and making friends was easy. Heck, one would have to try not to have friends, at least at my small high school.
After school though I found, like you said, that either the women I knew were involved with me romantically or they were merely acquaintances. I don't think I have made one close female friend in several years, which is a shame. Usually what happens is I meet a girl at a bar, or an activity, or at one of my classes, and she'll seem like a cool person and a potential friend, but it never goes beyond pleasantries, and you will rarely see her outside that specific social context. You talk about shared hobbies, interests, background and so on, but it will never get to the point where you could, for example, call her up and chat for the sake of chatting or relate a problem. It will always be cordial, but never intimate. And if one tries to make the friendship deeper (but not romantic) she'll assume you're trying to get in her pants, and poof, it's over. The only times I've found this not to be true is if I'm friends with her boyfriend or relative, and in that way we hang out, go to dinners or shows, and so on.
Well, it can't hurt to have your good female friends critique it for starters.
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki
No, I am not a guy, but I stand by my position. If no one ever replies to you, then there is something off putting about your profile. Ask some of your female friends to look at it and give you feedback.
I think that OLD sites are a haven for a lot of broken people hoping that they'll find the "perfect" person who'll make their life feel a little more worth-while.
I agree, that's what my experience has been as well. Married men who are "experimenting" yet their profile doesn't state they're married (lying already?). Men who just act odd and strange in responding right from the start that makes me feel uneasy. Men who seem okay, but just got out of a relationship and not sure what they want for us (so I should hang on until they get around to figuring that out?). And then there's the weirdos...
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flathead4
Brilliant. Assuming you have female friends.
It's really hard for me to imagine not having friends, and if you have a few, some are almost certainly sure to be female. Heck, ex girlfriends that are friends would do fine for this too. They might even be better.
It's really hard for me to imagine not having friends, and if you have a few, some are almost certainly sure to be female. Heck, ex girlfriends that are friends would do fine for this too. They might even be better.
Wait some people have received online dating messages that made them cry? What on earth were the contents of such messages?
I've had random men I had never spoken to who called me ugly, stupid and other words. I've had several men tell me I was hot but too old for them (most of them my age or older). I've had people threaten me for no reason.
Datehookup.com is one that I know of, and I'm still on there.
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