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You are trying to merge two seperate issues into one. A person's entire sexual history is much different than what happened last Friday on break. Get real.
It is different TO YOU maybe but it is not that different really. She was single. What she does while single is her business and her business only. There is no onus on her to tell anyone about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalmale18
I am not going to argue with you about whether witholding information to influence someone's decision is manipulation or not. Please review your definitions and return when you can argue logically.
And again my point is that we withold information all the time. Many people withold aspects of their sexual history. This is not manipulation. As I said men who hide homosexual experiences from women are doing that by choice - and that is their right - it is not manipulation.
Should I keep quiet about it or if not, what would be the best way to be honest?
Does it matter?
Hmm.. so you accuse your boyfriend of dishonesty.. now your trying to figure out to be honest or not.. you took a break.. (that's already honest giving you permission/justification if you go by those BS relationship rules) tell him or don't?
But if you know your boyfriend is gonna flakeout like your dishonesty accusation.. than no.. don't start that negative path if you wish to keep the relationship..
Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalmale18
The majority of this board agrees with me.
Any normal person would want to know if the person they went on a temporary break with slept with someone else. To deprive them of this information by out right lying or refusing to answer the questions, so they cannot make an informed decision, is manipulation. How is it not?
It is different TO YOU maybe but it is not that different really. She was single. What she does while single is her business and her business only. There is no onus on her to tell anyone about it.
And again my point is that we withold information all the time. Many people withold aspects of their sexual history. This is not manipulation. As I said men who hide homosexual experiences from women are doing that by choice - and that is their right - it is not manipulation.
Context is what makes it different. He should not care what she did before she met him. He WILL care what happend on a "break," single or not. She knows this, hence why she is witholding the information. That is manipulation.
I get your gay analogy and I agree, anything that happens before you meet someone doesn't matter. But in this context, what happned on a break certainly does. If it didn't, then we wouldn't even be discussing it.
To you. But as I said if you want to obsess over what your partner has done while single then it would be you with the issues - not your partner. It would be none of your business.
He migth - like you - "care" about it - but that is his issue not hers. He has no automatic right to this information. The only one being manipulative would be anyone trying to cajole her into sharing such information.
To you. But as I said if you want to obsess over what your partner has done while single then it would be you with the issues - not your partner. It would be none of your business.
He migth - like you - "care" about it - but that is his issue not hers. He has no automatic right to this information. The only one being manipulative would be anyone trying to cajole her into sharing such information.
To you. But as I said if you want to obsess over what your partner has done while single then it would be you with the issues - not your partner. It would be none of your business.
He migth - like you - "care" about it - but that is his issue not hers. He has no automatic right to this information. The only one being manipulative would be anyone trying to cajole her into sharing such information.
Your position on this is disgusting and amoral. This is relevant info for the boyfriend to be able to determine if he wants to stay in a relationship with this woman (I sure wouldn't.)
Yes because assertion and repetition of assertion makes you right.
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Originally Posted by Ray_Finkle
Your position on this is disgusting and amoral.
Oh yay. More assertion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ray_Finkle
This is relevant info for the boyfriend to be able to determine if he wants to stay in a relationship with this woman (I sure wouldn't.)
Then he has issues. What your partner or potential partner did while single is not your business. You might WANT it to be your business - I get that - but it is not. It is your partners choice and their choice alone whether to reveal information about their life while single with you.
If they choose not to - and you can not deal - then not being with that person is your choice too. But if you want to go around feeling that such information is somehow your due or right - you would appear to be just wrong. I see no basis to think anyone has some automatic right to this information.
Your position on this is disgusting and amoral. This is relevant info for the boyfriend to be able to determine if he wants to stay in a relationship with this woman (I sure wouldn't.)
Not in her world. Sex is the only thing females should not be held accountable for.
I did this to a girlfriend years ago when I was a little less moral. Even then, I felt like a sleaze and ended up stopping the relationship.
"People incapable of guilt usually do have a good time."
Yes because assertion and repetition of assertion makes you right.
It's not assertion, it is by definition. I'm not going to hold your hand through this.
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