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But it is not. At least no more (or less) so than anyone else who witholds information about their sexual past when entering or being in a relationship. You already agreed with one example I gave. You simply disagree here because you want to - but have not grounded that disagreement in - well - anything except throwing insults around.
Further I am not - and have not - advocated any kind of manipulation. To be manipulation I would have to be advocating she withold the information in order to influence him. I never suggested that. If you read back you will find I advised her to stay true to herself and do what she always does. So _if her normal_ response to inquiries into her sexual history is to answer - then she should answer here. However _if her normal_ response is to say "I prefer not to talk about my sexual past with current partners" - then that is what she should do here.
So that is not manipulation. It is merely advising her to do what she _always_ does in this situation. I do not know which that is - tell or not - but whichever it is I feel it is what she should do here too.
So get with what I am actually saying here - not with what you want to pretend I am saying - As I am not even advising her not to tell him. I am advising her to simply do what she normally would.
Your entire agrument is a straw man. It is a informal fallacy that will no longer be addressed.
Except it isn't. you are just attempting to back up assertion with further assertion now. I have explained my position clearly and why I hold it - in response you are just asserting the opposite and backing it up by throwing out personal insults.
You can ask - and if your partner wants to tell you that is fine - but the information is not your "right" or your privilege. If you think it is - think again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
The fact remains that many people keep their sexual history to themselves and do not share it with current partners. Calling this "manipulation" is just crass and wrong.
Bit curious if those thinking the bf deserves to know/has a right would agree that a current partner/potential partner deserves to know/has a right to know if a guy slept with prostitutes. As the same/similar logic they are using is shown that he is withholding information he knows will most likely affect her decision to be with him. Seems it's only sexual history in the present that matters irrelevant as to whether one was single when it happened.
I just walked you through mulitple definitions as to why your argument is a fallacy and illogical
No. You did not. You just declared it to be a straw man but alas it is only a misrepresentation of my point that you are arguing against not mine. My main point is simple and I do not mind repeating it over and over: What a person does while single is no ones business but their own.
Your point appears to be that this guy might want to know. I do not disagree. Perhaps he will. But his desire to know does not give him a right to know. At all.
And again you appear to just be throwing out insults to back this up.
Bit curious if those thinking the bf deserves to know/has a right would agree that a current partner/potential partner deserves to know/has a right to know if a guy slept with prostitutes. As the same/similar logic they are using is shown that he is withholding information he knows will most likely affect her decision to be with him. Seems it's only sexual history in the present that matters irrelevant as to whether one was single when it happened.
Again, this is a straw man.
If the bf slept with a prostitute while on a break, while they were taking time to think about the relationship, I think that is information the gf should know before they determine if they want to move forward.
If it well was before their time together, then it's up to him if he wants to reveal it. Context ALWAYS matters, in every single facet of life.
Bit curious if those thinking the bf deserves to know/has a right would agree that a current partner/potential partner deserves to know/has a right to know if a guy slept with prostitutes. As the same/similar logic they are using is shown that he is withholding information he knows will most likely affect her decision to be with him. Seems it's only sexual history in the present that matters irrelevant as to whether one was single when it happened.
Nice false equivalency.
If he slept with prostitutes 5 years ago, no. If he slept with prostitutes while they were on a "break," then yes.
This seems to be a debate between two people at this point, but I'll weigh in anyway.
The thread topic does feel like it's too neatly constructed to make the OP look, at best, like an entitled and confused kid emotionally. Kind of a perfect storm. It makes me wonder about the credibility or agenda of the OP. However, the thing developed a life of its own outside any advice or admonition toward the OP.
So what I take from it, real case or not, is:
-Define your terms. When words and phrases like "we're done", "I'm out of here", "it's over", etc., are available and pretty clear, don't say you're "taking a break", unless you define the terms of the break to include seeing other people.
-Consider that someone coming to you with helpful info might have an agenda and do that thinking before you act.
-If anyone, man or woman, took a break and then slept with someone within a few days of said break, the person he or she took a break from will likely doubt motives.
Whatever the OP was about, if it was designed to get some people in group A to think the worst of the woman in this scenario, and to get a second group of people to think the worst of group A, it succeeded.
No. You did not. You just declared it to be a straw man but alas it is only a misrepresentation of my point that you are arguing against not mine. My main point is simple and I do not mind repeating it over and over: What a person does while single is no ones business but their own.
Your point appears to be that this guy might want to know. I do not disagree. Perhaps he will. But his desire to know does not give him a right to know. At all.
And again you appear to just be throwing out insults to back this up.
Seems it's only sexual history in the present that matters irrelevant as to whether one was single when it happened.
That sentence sums up exactly what I think rationalmale's entire point here actually is. Yet aside from his assertion that it is so - I see no reason to think that it is so.
If the bf slept with a prostitute while on a break, while they were taking time to think about the relationship, I think that is information the gf should know before they determine if they want to move forward.
If it well was before their time together, then it's up to him if he wants to reveal it. Context ALWAYS matters, in every single facet of life.
It's not a straw man as I'm not attacking a proposition I'm questioning a bit of the methodology used to get there that it is manipulation to withhold information one knows will influence another's decision. I even state what I'm questioning.
Quite interesting that despite giving the definition you don't seem to know it.
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