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I want you to try an experiment. Make two online dating profiles: one of a good looking, tall guy and the other of an average looking guy or a good looking short guy. Send the same messages. Trust me, they are not messaging guys in equal distribution. Not even close. And the latter two guys will get very few (as in 1 or 2) messages, if any at all.
Trust me, I've tried it.
A lot of women here SAY that we are wrong. Awesome. I'd like to see you ladies operate in real life. Something tells me the actions won't match up to the words. I can only go by my personal experiences and this is what I've seen time and time again.
These are not excuses. I get girls in real life. As I said, I currently have a FWB and I can go out whenever and meet girls at bars with ease. However, I fully blame women for their actions and, in many ways, for what society has become. Doesn't mean I can't attract them.
It's weird how women here assume that just because some of us do not like how women as a whole act, we cannot attract those women. I can't be having sex with women and be annoyed with how they act? That's not possible at all? Hmmmm.....
I am not going to make online profiles when a dating site has already done datamining of several profiles. How would my one random sample invalidate all their data?
I would still like to know how it can be that "all women only care about looks" one week... but the next week it's personality when "all women only care about bad boys" or about money when "all women only care about money and status." Can't you see it's literally impossible for all of those absolute statements to be true? Isn't it more reasonable to accept, that like men, women are all different and attracted to different things? That we all don't think alike? Some may care about looks more... but others don't. Some may care about a man's status... others don't. We are all unique individuals and there is not great conspiracy by women to make a certain type of man dateless or for all of us to only date one type of man.
Karney and his colleagues then started looking at the difference between the husbands’ and wives’ attractiveness and discovered something important. "We could look at them and say, ‘OK, these husbands are less attractive on an objective scale than their wives.’ The interesting thing is that those husbands were happier than the other husbands. And those husbands were more helpful. And they were more effective and more positive when helping their wives with their problems."
...
What’s interesting is that the wives’ own attractiveness didn’t seem to matter — they were more affected by their husbands’ satisfaction, Karney noted. When their husbands were happy, the wives were happy, and when their husbands were unhappy, they were unhappy. They didn’t seem as responsive, or sensitive, to how attractive their husbands were.
How can it be that women who marry "less attractive" men are happier.. heck, they wouldn't have even dated their husbands (let alone marry them) if what is being said about women only caring about good looking men is true.
Theorem. Let X be the set of all attractive women and let Y be the set of all currently available women. Then XintsctY = ø.
Proof. Life experience.
Today I was at Starbucks reading and saw a girl who works at the front desk at my gym. She always smiles and says bye to me when I leave the gym. I thought about maybe striking up a conversation with her. But I didn't, because I assumed she has a boyfriend. Sure enough, a guy who was clearly her boyfriend came in and talked to her after an hour or so. (Of course he had male model looks.)
This has happened so many times that I'm glad I don't even bother trying to strike up conversations with attractive women. Any woman who is above average in looks and personality is taken.
Searching for an attractive mate is futile, especially if you're not good looking. I'm not sure why torture myself by thinking that I have a chance with sexy, smart women. They just hop from one good-looking guy to the next one.
You sound like you resent this woman because she was "taken." I don't get that.
And again we are presented with this female "predicament". After thinking about it I have little sympathy for this situation. There are two methods to forming relationships as I understand. Approach or be approached. Men have, since the dawn of time, born the responsibility of approaching. To be approached as a man, is so infrequent it's statistically insignificant and cannot be relied upon as an effective method. Oh, and in before someone slings some anecdotal "evidence" of a friend of a friend who approached a man at their weekly basket-weaving Meetup and who are now happily married ever after.
Women on the other hand rely on being approached. If an approach is not attempted by a man she desires, frustration and disappointment rears. However, there is nothing preventing women from approaching. Unlike men, women have not one, but two methods open to them to form relationships. The refusal by the majority of women to engage in the proactive method to increase the odds of success smacks of a "princess" attitude. The woman in the above second reason story would have no one to blame but herself for not saying "Hi" to any one of the 15 guys in the coffee shop.
Shoane's point wasn't "poor us"--feel sorry for attractive women. Her point was to explain to the OP that there are lots of single attractive women, and how it is that such a situation exists. OP erroneously believes all the attractive women are taken, which is, of course, ridiculous.
So wait you are disagreeing with my agreement of your statement?
What you agreed to was women do not want to meet men. I neither stated that nor intended my statement to mean that. All I meant in agreeing with the other post is my faulty thought process was covered in it. What I thought I understood about what kind of men women wanted was in no way the reality of what women actually want.
Egh she said personality matters I don't see you stating she said only personality matters so it's not her just being politically correct to date tall and good looking guys if they have personality. It's off to me how often guys go to absolute extremes like wanting a nice guy means that's all the guy has to be.
She said that it matter MORE than looks. Yet, she fawns over guys that are very attractive. She will only date a certain type looks-wise. And she sticks to that type. Her last bf was pretty mean to her.
So clearly what she says and what she does are two different things. Very common when it comes to women.
That is what's happening on OKCupid according to their data. Gals messaging guys they consider unattractive while 2/3's of males message 1/3 of the most attractive gals.
Egh you're seemingly switching the goal post as it was stated that they messaged guys they considered unattractive not that they messaged them at the same rate as guys they consider attractive.
The words (not being all about looks or looks not being that important) are backed up by actions though as shown by OKCupid's data of most gals messaging guys they consider unattractive.
What are they saying to the ugly guys in a message? Maybe thanking them for their original message? OkCupid wants people to join their site. Who's to say they aren't fudging the numbers? They are unreliable because they are biased.
Again, I did my own research and discovered the opposite of what they state to be true.
She said that it matter MORE than looks. Yet, she fawns over guys that are very attractive. She will only date a certain type looks-wise. And she sticks to that type. Her last bf was pretty mean to her.
So clearly what she says and what she does are two different things. Very common when it comes to women.
Cool on you for clarifying since you stated she just goes on and on about how personality matters not that it mattered more than looks. Perhaps she only dates a certain type looks-wise as there haven't been guys who have had a worthwhile personality. I know plenty of gals who find personality matters more than looks yet they only find a very very few guys with worthwhile personalities.
Egh it's not really 'so clearly what she says and what she does are two different things' unless you know that she refused unattractive/average guys who had really worthwhile personalities she liked.
I am not going to make online profiles when a dating site has already done datamining of several profiles. How would my one random sample invalidate all their data?
I would still like to know how it can be that "all women only care about looks" one week... but the next week it's personality when "all women only care about bad boys" or about money when "all women only care about money and status." Can't you see it's literally impossible for all of those absolute statements to be true? Isn't it more reasonable to accept, that like men, women are all different and attracted to different things? That we all don't think alike? Some may care about looks more... but others don't. Some may care about a man's status... others don't. We are all unique individuals and there is not great conspiracy by women to make a certain type of man dateless or for all of us to only date one type of man.
Of course status matters. How do you think some unattractive guys get girls? Status.
Bad boys tend to be good looking. So that's why I believe they get girls. Bad boys also tend to have status. I don't think being a bad boy in and of itself will get girls.
How can it be that women who marry "less attractive" men are happier.. heck, they wouldn't have even dated their husbands (let alone marry them) if what is being said about women only caring about good looking men is true.
I've never met a married couple in real life where the wife was significantly better looking than the husband. If I do (and this study isn't made up), then I will ask them.
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