To all the women, what do you think of womanizers and playboys? (younger, seeking)

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by burgler09

While I find the term alpha male and beta to be absolutely stupid, I don't understand the great disdain for alpha males. Just because someone is assertive and confident doesn't make them a player or womanizer.

Why wouldn't a woman want to be with a guy who knows what he wants?

I agree. And can't betas also be confident? And I would hazard a guess that most people aren't alphas or betas but are some mix of the two - or mix of however many categories there are. Which is why using the terms is stupid.

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

Right, you prefer for someone to be sexually aggressive, that is to say, you prefer an alpha male.

You would prefer someone to say "hey baby want to sleep with me tonight" as opposed to getting to know you as a friend, over a period of months, first, before ever saying anything about romantic feelings.

I would never sleep with someone who said that to me. I knew almost all of the guys that I dated before I dated them. Sometimes we were friends who became attracted to each other, sometimes we just got to know each other and knew we wanted to date - but weren't really "friends." However, if someone became my friend with the intention that they were going to try to make their move on me months and months later - well, that person wasn't really my "friend."

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

I didn't say all women prefer that, but it is the majority. It is extremely hard to find a woman who genuinely prefers beta males or being friends first.

Usually, being friends first and trying to have a natural progression makes them uncomfortable. At least in my experience.

You keep talking about being friends first, natural progression, etc. - but what you are doing isn't natural. You are trying to manipulate circumstances to a predetermined outcome. That is sort of like the antithesis of natural.

[udolipixie]

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

Right, you prefer for someone to be sexually aggressive, that is to say, you prefer an alpha male.

You would prefer someone to say "hey baby want to sleep with me tonight" as opposed to getting to know you as a friend, over a period of months, first, before ever saying anything about romantic feelings.

This is quite some logic leaping and assumptions. Nowhere did I mention my preferences.

How did you get that from me stating that gals generally do not approach so perhaps aggressive guys get more success as they ask more than passive guys?

[Hivemind31]

Originally Posted by burgler09

While I find the term alpha male and beta to be absolutely stupid, I don't understand the great disdain for alpha males. Just because someone is assertive and confident doesn't make them a player or womanizer.

Why wouldn't a woman want to be with a guy who knows what he wants?

I don't think anyone suggested that alphas are automatically womanizers. Neutrino is suggesting that womanizers are always alphas. "All A are B, but all B are not necessarily A" and all that.

To which I respond, "well, duh". (with the exception of "always", which doesn't really ever apply).

[bannedontherun]

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

I'm not worried about my reputation in the eyes of someone who has never met me.

I know I'm a nice guy. I know I don't engage in alpha male behavior. It would be difficult to be a 36 year old virgin if I were an alpha male.

But the fact remains, alpha males are more successful at attracting women than beta males.

Take any bar in the world. Who is going to find more success, the guy who approaches each woman with aggression and dominance and says "hey baby want to [vulgar term for making love]?", or the guy who spends hours talking to each one and getting to know them as friends before giving even the slightest indication that they have feelings?

Clearly the first person, the alpha male, is going to have more success. That's true outside of the bar as well. Aggression breeds success, in terms of finding partners.

The sad thing (for beta males like myself) is that so many women want to be dominated as opposed to being equal partners. They don't want to be friends first and have the relationship come naturally over time if there is to be one. If you are friends with them, and not aggressively pursuing a relationship the way an alpha male would, you ultimately are "friendzoned", that is to say you are "nice, but...", as in "you're a great guy and you're so nice but we could never be together".

Amen, preach it brother. It's refreshing to see a poster such as yourself come along and speak truth. They can deny it all they want, but most will go after the womanizer as long as there is some interest shown to them from him. After their abilities or appearance no longer allow them to be proficient at securing the womanizer, they will then "settle".

[JaybirdX]

These topics are always great the whole alpha and beta thing is just way like overblown. I mean the whole womanizer and player things is a mess why add alpha and beta to it to make worse.

Like everything else on the internet it all sounds simple in text but apply outside and things are a blurry mess.

[neutrino78x]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

I would never sleep with someone who said that to me.

YOU wouldn't, maybe, but many women would. That is encouraging alpha male behavior.

However, if someone became my friend with the intention that they were going to try to make their move on me months and months later - well, that person wasn't really my "friend."

And I have never done that because that is alpha male behavior.

You keep talking about being friends first, natural progression, etc. - but what you are doing isn't natural. You are trying to manipulate circumstances to a predetermined outcome. That is sort of like the antithesis of natural.

You misunderstand me. I didn't say "enter in the friendship for the purpose of deceiving the person", rather, I said, meet women the same way you meet men, and for the same purpose, and over time, hopefully start to have feelings for one of the several women you have met in that way. That is a natural progression. Unfortunately, in my particular case, the other person never develops those feelings. I feel like I'm falling in love, but they are just having a platonic friend or acquaintance. But that's another thread.

As opposed to coming up to random women and asking them out, which is alpha behavior. Women generally prefer having someone come up and ask them out, aggressively. And yes I include if you knew them as a friend and then they just suddenly want to go out. Approaching someone in a bar and asking them to dance or whatever is alpha male behavior. Betas don't approach people in bars, they get to know them the same way they get to know other men.

[neutrino78x]

Originally Posted by JaybirdX

These topics are always great the whole alpha and beta thing is just way like overblown. I mean the whole womanizer and player things is a mess why add alpha and beta to it to make worse.

Well a womanizer/player is an alpha, someone who doesn't do that is a beta. Simple enough.

[intelfan11315]

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

Well a womanizer/player is an alpha, someone who doesn't do that is a beta. Simple enough.

You sound like you really get along with a lot of people.

[TJenkins602]

Originally Posted by neutrino78x

Let me put it this way, who gets more dates. Womanizers, aka alpha males, or the nice guys, aka beta males?

Clearly the womanizers aka alpha males get more dates.

Who got more dates in high school, the quarterback or the scrawny geeky guy?

Okay, womanizers do get more dates, but that is likely because they are seeking more dates. They'd definitely get more dates than me. I'll probably end up married...

[neutrino78x]

Originally Posted by burgler09

You sound like you really get along with a lot of people.

I get along with most people in real life. Although the people I actually consider friends could be counted on one hand.