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Am going to go against the general tone of most replies in this thread and say that I am with the boyfriend in this situation. He is not being controlling or insecure, he is being assertive and protective, and yes, a bit jealous, perhaps with good reason. There might be a red flag fluttering. There have been several threads on the "Just friends" topic, with hundreds of posts, so no need to repeat a lot, but myself and many others feel that it is playing with fire. Why does she prefer to be with four men she sees all day rather than with her boyfriend? Is there one of the men that she has romantic feelings for? After a few drinks inhibitions loosen, and then?? Men are possessive of women they care for, and defend them from other men. This has been their nature forever, and is not going to change.
Well, I work in a male dominated environment. So, if a group of us go have cocktails after work because it's been a crappy, stressful week, or if we go to celebrate someone's birthday/promotion/new baby, or to celebrate the end of a particularly grueling project? I'm almost always the only woman.
Good thing my boyfriend isn't insecure and trusts me to act like a grownup and not get drunk, trip, and fall naked onto the nearest man.
Well, I work in a male dominated environment. So, if a group of us go have cocktails after work because it's been a crappy, stressful week, or if we go to celebrate someone's birthday/promotion/new baby, or to celebrate the end of a particularly grueling project? I'm almost always the only woman.
Good thing my boyfriend isn't insecure and trusts me to act like a grownup and not get drunk, trip, and fall naked onto the nearest man.
Or..... he just knows that you aren't dumb enough to pull a stunt like that.
Women are instinctually attracted to three main male characteristics and they will never admit it on this feminist driven, politically correct forum, but I can tell you without doubt it's true.
Women are instinctually attracted to a man who is confident, possessive, and dominant. Now these three variables need a balance and cannot tip to far the extreme in any given category. Possessive does not mean uncontrollable jealousy, dominate does not mean smacking her around, or putting her down, and confident does not mean arrogant.
Questions like the one in the OP kinda freak me out. Is this what some dudes are thinking? The whole "controlling" gig for dudes went out sometime in the 2nd half of the last century, for those who didn't get the memo.
Questions like the one in the OP kinda freak me out. Is this what some dudes are thinking? The whole "controlling" gig for dudes went out sometime in the 2nd half of the last century, for those who didn't get the memo.
The whole idea that women would find controlling men attractive is creepy.
Questions like the one in the OP kinda freak me out. Is this what some dudes are thinking? The whole "controlling" gig for dudes went out sometime in the 2nd half of the last century, for those who didn't get the memo.
Women are instinctually attracted to three main male characteristics and they will never admit it on this feminist driven, politically correct forum, but I can tell you without doubt it's true.
Women are instinctually attracted to a man who is confident, possessive, and dominant. Now these three variables need a balance and cannot tip to far the extreme in any given category. Possessive does not mean uncontrollable jealousy, dominate does not mean smacking her around, or putting her down, and confident does not mean arrogant.
The questions wasn't whether or not we were attracted to confident, possessive, dominant men. The question was whether or not we were attracted to controlling men.
And whatever I am attracted to, I have no problem admitting.
Controlling, no, major turnoff and a deal breaker.
There's nothing worse than a guy who wants to tell you what to wear, what music to listen to, what movies you ought to see, what friends you ought to have... bleh. I wasted by time going out with a guy like that once, and the constant criticism is really a sign of his own insecurity. He needs to feel like he has superior taste in everything, so he has to one up you, and drag you down constantly. Waste of time...
But say you were planning to hang out at a bar with four male coworkers after work and your boyfriend told you no way.
My objection to this scenario has nothing to do with being controlling, insecure, or having trust issues. It is based on plain common sense and an overall wariness of the "Just friends" situation. Had the sexes been reversed, one guy and four women, would be equally opposed.
Now suppose instead of mixed sexes it is same sex after work socializing? In this case, everything changes. She wants to go to the movies with her girlfriends and see a chick flick that he has no desire to see. "Okay, enjoy the show." He wants to go to a sports bar with his buddies and watch the ballgame. "Who's playing and who are you rooting for." Both perfectly fine, no control issues of any kind.
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