How can I get him to help clean (girl, advice, friends)
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This is the type of strategy I've seen in child-rearing newspaper columns, about how to get a difficult 6-year-old to do what they're supposed to do. Withhold TV until they clean their room or do their homework.
Act like a child get treated like a child. I'm home cleaning instead of out doing something I rather do.
If this is what it takes to make him clean I don't care if its a method used on children, if my house gets clean then I am happy.
I do at night before bed but that's it. I don't smoke unless its before bed. I used to smoke more but with how much I work I really can't.
He smokes more.
Act like a child get treated like a child. I'm home cleaning instead of out doing something I rather do.
If this is what it takes to make him clean I don't care if its a method used on children, if my house gets clean then I am happy.
Listen to the people who've been there done that. Your relationship is not going to get better. That's not how things work. Essentially, you've gotten to know the real person, not the guy from the honeymoon phase. Actions speak louder than words. HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. He's a user and you're co-dependent. 1100 miles is not too far to catch a bus. If he gives a rats ass about himself he'll deal with his dog and his mattress without you. It's just not that hard.
You need to figure this stuff out and quit whining.
This guy might not be hopeless. He might change when he meets the right person. You are not the right person for him.
He is doing everything he can to get away from you and you are putting obstacles in his way.
Move a mattress? Those things are cheap - he can just buy a new one.
Are you kidding me? He's not doing anything to leave right now. He isn't saving his money. He isn't doing anything but going to work and coming home and playing playstation.
I broke my back 4 months ago and here I am today cleaning everything. I am going to be in so much pain later but I rather be able to relax in a clean house than sitting in pain in this mess.
He doesn't have to take the mattress with him, but he can. I'm not keeping it. I'm getting a new one because I have to for my back. If he doesn't take it I am having it thrown out. His choice. Keep the giant king mattress we currently have or spend more money on a new one. Figured it would be easier if he didn't have to buy a new one. I just wake up in too much pain to continue sleeping on it.
Plan out a few hours early Sun evening and make a date of it. Bake some rice krispie treats, put on some fun music, and take the opportunity to horse around together while cleaning.
Windex Wars, Vacuum Vulcan vs. Broom Boss, skating around the hardwood floors on dust cloths, etc. Let the games and laughter ensue!
Afterwards, enjoy those rice krispie treats together while watching a nice movie in the now clean house.
People often think of certain things as drudgery that you must do OR ELSE, but I'm personally more enthusiastic to do things if I see the positive in it.
And many others are the same way.
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