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As a guy, I totally understand you safety concerns, but I see minx's point. It's good for me to read this getting back out there soon. When I met my wife many years ago I picked her up at her house and she even invited me over on the 3rd date.
Come to think of it, it's good to meet at a place that way if either party doesn't click with the other they can leave on their own.
I was set up with this guy through a mutual friend. By the second date, he was asking to pick me up at my place. I said no, I'm not comfortable with that, I'd rather meet you out. He seemed a little baffled by that, but stayed quiet about it.
Move onto the third date and he is basically insisting that he pick me up at my place. Again, I said no, I am still getting to know you and I'd prefer to meet you out. Instead of just accepting that that was my comfort level, he got very defensive and started to push back. This was the final nail in the coffin. There will be no fourth date.
Guys, if a woman isn't comfortable with something, just let it be. If you really care about someone, you don't want them to feel uncomfortable or pushed into something they don't want to do. Respect a woman's boundaries. Don't take it personally and get defensive and make it all about you.
Hey for me it's better if I don't have to do the "pick up" thing. A girl I dated recently told me to meet her at the local movieplex and I was fine with it. If she ask me to pick her up I can do that as well.
It's good to know that being okay with whatever decision she makes is not "underrated".
I agree. He has had amazing career success, but it seemed like he applies his business-mind to his relationships. As in, "If I want it, I'm going to get it". That works fine for business, but you can't treat people like that. Emotions and individuality have to be respected. People aren't pawns to move around your own personal chess board.
Move onto the third date and he is basically insisting that he pick me up at my place. Again, I said no, I am still getting to know you and I'd prefer to meet you out. Instead of just accepting that that was my comfort level, he got very defensive and started to push back. This was the final nail in the coffin. There will be no fourth date.
Good. If he was getting that upset about something that silly, I'd hate to see how he deals with actual problems. Consider yourself lucky he showed his hand early so you could move on before you were in too far.
The fact that you don't want to get picked up at your place doesn't bother me, it's the insecurity that does. As a man it would definitely make me go elsewhere. I'm not saying that it's a definite thing, but it's something.
The fact that you don't want to get picked up at your place doesn't bother me, it's the insecurity that does. As a man it would definitely make me go elsewhere. I'm not saying that it's a definite thing, but it's something.
What do you mean by insecurity? My insecurity/lack of trust in him?
If I'm okay with going out with somebody more than a couple of times, I'm generally okay with him knowing my address. If I feel skeptical about wanting him to know where I live, I'm sure as hell not going out with him more than that one time.
But, that's with me taking the initiative to invite somebody to pick me up at my place. Pressuring somebody to divulge where they live if they're not offering that information themselves is just poor form.
What do you mean by insecurity? My insecurity/lack of trust in him?
Yes, which may be a sign that maybe you do not trust him, in which case you should let him know it isn't working out. After the first date you should have a better understanding of the individual. IF you aren't comfortable letting him know that knowledge then perhaps it's best to part ways. I like dating people I feel comfortable with, especially after the first date.
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