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Don't let him if you live alone. once I did and no more, lesson learned.I am still freaking out when I remember. That was just after my divorce. And I got to know a guy from a friend and he pick me up drop me some times. But one day he broke in to my house at midnight. He came from a window. Lucky my uncle and aunt was by my place because of them I am living today. So better don't. And don't do it till you have a good knowledge about the guy.
You can live life like everyone is out to get you, but what a sad way to live. The guy from stava's story had some red flags, so that's understandable, but when you meet someone who doesn't send flags flying, it's simple paranoia to be afraid of them for a prolonged period of time.
It's not being afraid of them. It's being cautious about them. There's a difference.
Don't let him if you live alone. once I did and no more, lesson learned.I am still freaking out when I remember. That was just after my divorce. And I got to know a guy from a friend and he pick me up drop me some times. But one day he broke in to my house at midnight. He came from a window. Lucky my uncle and aunt was by my place because of them I am living today. So better don't. And don't do it till you have a good knowledge about the guy.
If you never really know someone, how do you "figure out who they are"?
If you followed your own advice/logic, you'd never have anyone over.
You can live life like everyone is out to get you, but what a sad way to live. The guy from stava's story had some red flags, so that's understandable, but when you meet someone who doesn't send flags flying, it's simple paranoia to be afraid of them for a prolonged period of time.
All I'm saying is that it takes a long time to get to know someone. You are assuming way too much.
Yes, but the key word there is some. Some trust. Not TRUST trust.
Right - trust comes in stages - it's not black and white - the more I learn about you the better I can decide. Maybe the guy should have stopped asking to pick her up OR he should have stopped asking her out if he felt that strongly about it. HE has choices too.
I was set up with this guy through a mutual friend. By the second date, he was asking to pick me up at my place. I said no, I'm not comfortable with that, I'd rather meet you out. He seemed a little baffled by that, but stayed quiet about it.
Move onto the third date and he is basically insisting that he pick me up at my place. Again, I said no, I am still getting to know you and I'd prefer to meet you out. Instead of just accepting that that was my comfort level, he got very defensive and started to push back. This was the final nail in the coffin. There will be no fourth date.
Guys, if a woman isn't comfortable with something, just let it be. If you really care about someone, you don't want them to feel uncomfortable or pushed into something they don't want to do. Respect a woman's boundaries. Don't take it personally and get defensive and make it all about you.
he wants to pick you up because he can drop you off and get invited in for hopefully sex I mean a nightcap. Bow CICKA bow wow.
Personally if I was dating today ( from the things I hear from my single buddies or read on here) I rather meet a person for the first 3-5 dates. If it doesn't work we can go our separate ways after the date. If it really doesn't work I can simply get up and leave without having to drive a screaming shrew home.
Or she may think I'm a huge moron. In which case I wouldn't want to drive a screaming shrew home
All joking aside if you don't feel comfortable then don't do it. If he can't understand that it's his problem
OP, I understand your point about comfort levels and respecting boundaries. But it sounds like he just wasn't your type to begin with and ditching him for this reason seems to be a farce to avoid telling him why you don't like him. If you weren't affronted by his "board room" take on dating, wouldn't you have just said something to him like, "I'm not your subordinate, take it down a notch." and give him a chance to reassess his behaviors? You have no obligation to do that of course, but the bottom line seems to be that you just don't like him. Which is great. It only took 3 dates to realize it and you're moving on.
To some of the others... I've never seen so many "adults" convinced the world is full of stalker men as there seem to be on C-D. What a horribly depressing way of thinking.
He knows your name, he knows your friends and he's been on three dates with you so he's got a ton of personal information on your that you didn't even think twice about sharing. He knows where you work, what you do, probably your college and major, pets, food preferences, he's already likely seen your facebook page or another social media page, and he knows your general age.
As a casual net jockey, trust me when I tell you the information he already has is more than enough to track you down, if he was so inclined. You're not that interesting. He's just pushy. (And when I say "you" I'm referring to the "OMG!!! He wants to STALK ME!!" people. Not the OP.)
Some folks are just that hopeless. I say that in the sense that most people don't meet anyone outside of their social circle, because they've already been vetted by people they already trust.
There is really nothing nice to say about that if it's getting even dicier than that now.
It's even more irksome that people think they are more important than they are, because most people are irrelevant. I ran my own business and had an ex-high school classmate cheat on her hubby, burn her house down, then send the local detectives after me so she could have an alibi. It's not like I even knew this loser personally, mind you. It's not like I curled up in the fetal position over that, though I do look at people differently since, but I didn't curl up into the fetal position sucking my thumb over it, either. (She got a few years of probation for that false report, IIRC...)
Anyway, I bet if the guy in question was what any of us would deem as universally accepted "hot", then this would not be an issue. Maybe the guy is just a bit too giddy in putting a polite foot forward and it's now getting annoying. Either way, OP, maybe he's a bit dense. Maybe both of your social skills blow. Clearly let him off the hook and know there is no next date.
P.S. Was this stuff that painful way back in the "good ol' days"? Maybe it's the meds out these days. I doubt our grandparents had it this bad.
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