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Which could be why I only attract the needy men...which I have no patience for, and the controlling men don't have tolerance for me resisting their manipulation. Things are making sense.
I thought women want a confident man who takes the lead in a relationship?
It's when the woman wants to drive the bus telling the man to sit down and shut up cause I'm driving mentality is where I think things get rough.
Confident does not equal with dominating. A person can be very confident without being dominating. Actually that is only pure way to be confident, without a need of manipulating and leading another.
Why you would need manipulate or lead someone if you are confident? Why you just don't do your own thing and thats it? Why there should be a marionette doll that you are able to manipulate and controll? Why your confidence would need that? No, your insecurity needs a following butt licking flies to confirm to you that you are something.
Women are very different in their characters and some women wants to be leaded. And then some women don't. Most important thing to learn from other gender is to get to know her or him as individual. Men are not all same, women are not all same.
There is only media and social media who tries to feed some certain role models for both genders to pose. That only causes more damages.
Last edited by soUlwounD; 06-13-2016 at 07:48 AM..
Confident does not equal with dominating. A person can be very confident without being dominating. Actually that is only pure way to be confident, without a need of manipulating and leading another.
Why you would need manipulate or lead someone if you are confident? Why you just don't do your own thing and thats it? Why there should be a marionette doll that you are able to manipulate and controll? Why you confidence would need that? No, your insecurity needs a following butt licking flies to confirm to you that you are something.
Women are very different in their characters and some women wants to be leaded. And then some women don't. Most important thing to learn from other gender is to get to know her or him as individual. Men are not all same, women are not all same.
There is only media and social media who tries to feed some certain role models for both genders to pose. That only causes more damages.
Especially when people try to pigeon-hole themselves into those roles, for the sake of the relationship.
Of course not because some of them has this need to build their self-esteem and other mental issues by leading and controlling a woman. Strong women are scary, lol Not that dominant would equal strong itself.. Even women who state their opinions seems to be scary to some men.. So threatening, women have opinions and even dare to have their own strong opinions! How a man could prove to be a man if his woman would be strong and independent?
Either one does not have to dominate another
All should have their boundaries and deal breakers when they are not losing themselves by not letting another dominate or control.
But when both has purely goals that takes boths needs consider, always, there is 2 person (if kids, then more) 2 different needs, 2 different wishes, 2 goals, 2 values etc.
Always think for your spouses side in every issue. When you try to find a way to do things when both can have their style and way.
You can do many things by including both:s wishes and styles on it.
Instead I have seen many people who try to manipulate and force another to do things exactly like they want and only by that way.
Really, buy 2 toothpaste and both squeeze it exactly as want, set 2 toalet paper rolls on the wall and roll it into a way you want, set 2 toalet seats if cannot agree the cover be up or down, there is lot of just as stupid things that couples are fighting for and many of them are actually only battles of "who is the master of this house"...
Always remember 2 instead you, always remember to think your spouses point of view, always settle yourself into your spouses place, always be sympathic and you are able to find golden way, not necessary middle way but way to do things by your boths ways. When both are working for boths happiness it has better chances to work.
Of course assuming you are enough similar type and not totally opposite in everything. Does not fit for sex either, opposite tastes are actually forcing another something rape-like. So in sex, people should have same taste. I would equal pulling hair as violence and some other women could like it for some reason. So especially in sex both cannot have their own style if they are too opposite. There is no "women" , there is individuals with different mind sets and characters.
There is a difference between being a true leader and a dictator in making decisions. One takes counsel and the opinions of others in account while the other doesn't.
It's not about manipulation or controlling someone. If that's how people interpret it, than a women in "charge" of a man is no different.
I'm old school in that the man is to take the lead in a relationship. To give this role over to a women, is degrading to the man. She '"wears the pants" in the relationship. How many times have we heard that one? It's never painting the man in a very respectful light.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81
I'm old school in that the man is to take the lead in a relationship. To give this role over to a women, is degrading to the man. She '"wears the pants" in the relationship. How many times have we heard that one? It's never painting the man in a very respectful light.
Haven't heard that phrase in 10-15 years.
It's like "women's lib", its rather antiquated and isn't heard out and about.
It's like "women's lib", its rather antiquated and isn't heard out and about.
I just heard the phrase not too long ago actually. I haven't seen a relationship like this yet where the man was respected. Either by the women he's with or the people around him.
I don't think "modernism" of culture has anything to do with it but the issue is more biological in nature.
There is a difference between being a true leader and a dictator in making decisions. One takes counsel and the opinions of others in account while the other doesn't.
It's not about manipulation or controlling someone. If that's how people interpret it, than a women in "charge" of a man is no different.
I'm old school in that the man is to take the lead in a relationship. To give this role over to a women, is degrading to the man. She '"wears the pants" in the relationship. How many times have we heard that one? It's never painting the man in a very respectful light.
Why does anyone need to "take the lead" in a relationship?
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How a man could prove to be a man if his woman would be strong and independent?
