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I used to a long time ago give out a lot more details about my personal life. My post a couple of pages back aside.
There are a handful of posters that have been here 10 plus yrs ago that never mention anything personal, that's fine, their business but I find that sometimes it can bring a bit more clarity to a subject and people can sometimes know that people can truly understand and relate.
It bring out the humanity in people when you can feel someone's pain, and they might feel a tad less alone in the world. If we can do that for our fellow humans we can make the world just one click a bit better.
MLJ's story about her son's motorcycle accident really resonated with me because I spent several yrs riding a bike back when I was young and invincible. I never got in an accident but I can't tell you how many times I've had close calls.
I used to a long time ago give out a lot more details about my personal life. My post a couple of pages back aside.
There are a handful of posters that have been here 10 plus yrs ago that never mention anything personal, that's fine, their business but I find that sometimes it can bring a bit more clarity to a subject and people can sometimes know that people can truly understand and relate.
It bring out the humanity in people when you can feel someone's pain, and they might feel a tad less alone in the world. If we can do that for our fellow humans we can make the world just one click a bit better.
MLJ's story about her son's motorcycle accident really resonated with me because I spent several yrs riding a bike back when I was young and invincible. I never got in an accident but I can't tell you how many times I've had close calls.
MLJ sure can’t catch a break. I feel bad for her. Wish there was more to help. I said it years ago, and it’s still true; asking for help is not a weakness. It’s awareness of your limits. I think of Sonic’s trials.
I am at the point where I don’t talk about me. I’ll visit with folks, get their story and all that. I try to do it without giving out any details about me. A work partner point it out to me. It’s an accurate assessment.
MLJ sure can’t catch a break. I feel bad for her. Wish there was more to help. I said it years ago, and it’s still true; asking for help is not a weakness. It’s awareness of your limits. I think of Sonic’s trials.
I am at the point where I don’t talk about me. I’ll visit with folks, get their story and all that. I try to do it without giving out any details about me. A work partner point it out to me. It’s an accurate assessment.
Not giving personal details is fine. I know you have in the past though and it is really no one's business.
I've said before that most of what goes on here on the board doesn't really occupy much of my mind otherwise. That said when I read her story of her fiance passing and her step dad I literally winced. I can't occupy what must be in her head too much because it's too painful. My mind kicks me out. It's hard to explain it and I feel like a wimp just typing that out.
As for Sonic, I have no words, literally. I refrain from commenting on things that are so far removed from my experience that it almost feels disrespectful to the gravity of what her experience is. I have no kids, I'm not a parent myself. I can't say anything helpful to her. The best I can say is that I think every family has a son like Sonic's, maybe not literally, but close enough.
We know of someone that has a son that has a serious drug problem, he's living on the streets now. One day this person we know saw his son walking down the street and had to keep driving along as he had exhausted every avenue with this kid. I'm getting a bit watery eyed just thinking about it.
Sad man, just f ing sad. This kid came from an upper middle class family, smart, nice looking,tall, intelligent. Every positive checkbox you'd want to have. I call him a kid but I think he is near 30 now.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SD4020
MLJ sure can’t catch a break. I feel bad for her. Wish there was more to help. I said it years ago, and it’s still true; asking for help is not a weakness. It’s awareness of your limits. I think of Sonic’s trials.
I am at the point where I don’t talk about me. I’ll visit with folks, get their story and all that. I try to do it without giving out any details about me. A work partner point it out to me. It’s an accurate assessment.
I feel Mlj and Sonic definitely have had tragic and challenging events no one should have to go through and I hate they are dealing with those now. It definitely shows their strength of character sharing all of this with us. Despite me being very open and animated as far as the challenges of my dating life in the past, I don’t share some of the bigger struggles here because I feel that those things I have to fight on my own or with someone who can offer help and privacy.
Their openness of their challenges provides perspective of what I go through daily and it doesn’t seem so important to share since nothing has happened which has been tragic. Other than my Uncle and Aunt recovering from Covid, I’m grateful to be in a time of life where I don’t have larger problems that I’m going through, because in 2019 that wasn’t the case.
I feel Mlj and Sonic definitely have had tragic and challenging events no one should have to go through and I hate they are dealing with those now. It definitely shows their strength of character sharing all of this with us. Despite me being very open and animated as far as the challenges of my dating life in the past, I don’t share some of the bigger struggles here because I feel that those things I have to fight on my own or with someone who can offer help and privacy.
Their openness of their challenges provides perspective of what I go through daily and it doesn’t seem so important to share since nothing has happened which has been tragic. Other than my Uncle and Aunt recovering from Covid, I’m grateful to be in a time of life where I don’t have larger problems that I’m going through, because in 2019 that wasn’t the case.
We all can have issues at some point in our lives and to each person their problems or things they are going through are real, whether or not someone else may say they are or aren't, it doesn't matter when you are struggling.
I've heard that losing a spouse and having deep problems with your kids are some of the bigger ones that really hit people hard. I don't have kids so I can' speak to that, I'm just repeating what I've heard over the years.
Not giving personal details is fine. I know you have in the past though and it is really no one's business.
I've said before that most of what goes on here on the board doesn't really occupy much of my mind otherwise. That said when I read her story of her fiance passing and her step dad I literally winced. I can't occupy what must be in her head too much because it's too painful. My mind kicks me out. It's hard to explain it and I feel like a wimp just typing that out.
As for Sonic, I have no words, literally. I refrain from commenting on things that are so far removed from my experience that it almost feels disrespectful to the gravity of what her experience is. I have no kids, I'm not a parent myself. I can't say anything helpful to her. The best I can say is that I think every family has a son like Sonic's, maybe not literally, but close enough.
We know of someone that has a son that has a serious drug problem, he's living on the streets now. One day this person we know saw his son walking down the street and had to keep driving along as he had exhausted every avenue with this kid. I'm getting a bit watery eyed just thinking about it.
Sad man, just f ing sad. This kid came from an upper middle class family, smart, nice looking,tall, intelligent. Every positive checkbox you'd want to have. I call him a kid but I think he is near 30 now.
My "cousin" is like that. Grew up rich, world at his feet, very attractive and ended up being a Doctor. He then threw it all away on strippers and Ectasy pills which lead to harder drugs. Was even on the news in SoFl for trying to steal motorcycles from a dealership. Very sad story.
YeH. That’s why I don’t discuss issues about my daughter, I can’t. I would become outrageously defensive because I would take it personally. Say what you want about me or my decisions but my daughter? Eh... you’re fighting mama bear then.
When ive worked with mentally ill and criminally inclined, I’d say I had no children. The worse they could threaten me with is: “And good you’d be a horrible mother!”
Ok... I least I get to keep my shoelaces.
I had a thought... Like despite my general left leanings especially in terms of "social" ideologies and such, I do think sometimes things go too far, and cause problems. And here is one.
I used to hear from men in my family...Dad, Grandpa...and even my Ex who is in his mid 50s and grew up in rural Iowa...about being teens and young men and being able to get into fights. Like a bar fight would break out, nobody called the cops, no one expected guns or knives to come out, just sometimes dudes needed to punch each other in the head some.
My kid said, after the boys came to fisticuffs that day, that getting in a physical fight with his brother actually felt GOOD in a way. He had a lot of resentment built up, and it was somewhat cathartic. Even though he was not the one who started the physical fight, he said he was kind of glad it came to that, that maybe it needed to happen.
And I thought about that, and I was like...yanno...maybe a couple of young dudes need to be able to just pummel each other occasionally, what do I know about it? But I can't think of a "safe" place for them to do that, where onlookers will not become alarmed, where loud conflict and physical violence won't lead to cops being called. Like at the first hint of aggression, everyone in our (maybe a little too "progressive?") society gets all freaked out. There is not a space for dudes to just...thump each other around, then have a beer and get over it.
Which is what my Dad, Grandpa,and Ex all describe as the normal that they grew up in.
Can humanity change so much so fast, is it realistic to expect all of modern men to become so civilized that computer simulations of violence will be enough, and that they literally CAN NOT engage in a tussle, blow off some testosterone steam, and feel better for it? Is there a need for that, that our culture is refusing to acknowledge?
And I thought about that, and I was like...yanno...maybe a couple of young dudes need to be able to just pummel each other occasionally, what do I know about it? But I can't think of a "safe" place for them to do that, where onlookers will not become alarmed, where loud conflict and physical violence won't lead to cops being called. Like at the first hint of aggression, everyone in our (maybe a little too "progressive?") society gets all freaked out. There is not a space for dudes to just...thump each other around, then have a beer and get over it.
There are boxing and martial arts programs for "at-risk" kids, where they learn how to fight safely but also learn about sportsmanship and discipline, etc.
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