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Seriously, I'm starting to come around on prostitution, if people really think they should only spend money on social occasions if they're getting something from the person they are with (and they don't consider company and conversations something), then maybe they just go to hookers and get it over with.
I'm starting to reconsider. I always have the intention that I'm paying my own way, sometimes I actually do, but mostly the guy pays. Sometimes they get insulted? One time I mentioned I could pay too, and he said: 'Oh...I see.' The whole mood changed, and I was sorry that I offered, because my intention wasn't that it was over! He didn't even hold the door open after that.
Maybe that's why OPs guy didn't walk her to her car, the mention of 2 checks was a test, had she said:"Oh I didn't expect to pay, I didn't bring my wallet." Maybe he would've thought: "well hot damn, someones getting laid tonight" and followed her to her car no matter what she said, telling her how nice she smelled and that she's the prettiest girl he's ever seen.
**Sorry Dis, I was trying to make a point in my mean and sarcastic way, I didn't mean to insult your manhood.
I honestly don't mind to pay, as long as she is conscientious about it. I went out with someone a few months ago to a place that specialized in sushi/seafood, but also did very good burgers. I got a burger and salad for like $13, and she got the Chilean sea bass for $30 or so and several expensive cocktails. Bad form.
I honestly don't mind to pay, as long as she is conscientious about it. I went out with someone a few months ago to a place that specialized in sushi/seafood, but also did very good burgers. I got a burger and salad for like $13, and she got the Chilean sea bass for $30 or so and several expensive cocktails. Bad form.
Who chose the location? Who suggested dinner? Who ordered first? She might have caught a clue if you did but I'll bet she did, assuming...if you picked the place...that it was OK.
The beauty of understanding ahead of time that it'll be dutch or my suggestion that the lady ask for separate checks ahead of time is that you can order what you damn well want.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I know others here have different experiences, but I seriously cannot remember ever asking for separate checks with 2-3 people. Not with friends, not with family, not with people I just met, not anywhere. Just give the person two cards or whatever and split it if that is your intention. Is someone seriously going to be blankhurt if one person got a $9 beer vs a $6 one, or one person had two and the other one... oooooh, big money!
Honestly, this discussion is kind of moot for me: I really can't envision a scenario where I'd be out with someone I hadn't already met in person and talked to for a bit. And I've got a collaborative style when it comes to making plans, so there isn't really the issue of "who picked the place?" We both did.
But to the posts about there being a mercenary approach in this thread, I totally agree and see it on both extremes. For the most part, I do what I can to be generous in all aspects of life, whether that's with friends, family, volunteering, etc. So my nature would generally be to treat the person I'm with. But the one case where I'd not feel inclined to do so is if I get the sense that I'm expected to pay for both of us or else be labeled cheap. And on the other side, I think only paying for the other person if you like them, and to hell with what they think otherwise, is not the way I'd want to go through life. It seems like going into a first meeting with such a hard-hearted attitude would make it difficult to form lasting relationships. But what do I know?
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I know others here have different experiences, but I seriously cannot remember ever asking for separate checks with 2-3 people. Not with friends, not with family, not with people I just met, not anywhere. Just give the person two cards or whatever and split it if that is your intention. Is someone seriously going to be blankhurt if one person got a $9 beer vs a $6 one, or one person had two and the other one... oooooh, big money!
At most places I've been to around here, it's the server who asks if you want separate checks.
I've heard it many times, the people who stay rich don't display that they are rich. If I was super rich, I'd probably still be reluctant to spend much on initial dates. That way I know a woman wants me for me and not what I can provide for her. I just think when you first meet someone, keeping the expenses to a minimum is a good idea to make sure money does not bring an unhealthy dynamic to the relationship and you make sure someone is interested in you if you can't give them the world.
You have no idea because you're not high wealth or high income.
6% of the workforce maxes out their Social Security contribution at $118,500. At that income level, you're not rich but a $50 dinner tab for a date is no big deal.
Honestly, this discussion is kind of moot for me: I really can't envision a scenario where I'd be out with someone I hadn't already met in person and talked to for a bit. And I've got a collaborative style when it comes to making plans, so there isn't really the issue of "who picked the place?" We both did.
But to the posts about there being a mercenary approach in this thread, I totally agree and see it on both extremes. For the most part, I do what I can to be generous in all aspects of life, whether that's with friends, family, volunteering, etc. So my nature would generally be to treat the person I'm with. But the one case where I'd not feel inclined to do so is if I get the sense that I'm expected to pay for both of us or else be labeled cheap. And on the other side, I think only paying for the other person if you like them, and to hell with what they think otherwise, is not the way I'd want to go through life. It seems like going into a first meeting with such a hard-hearted attitude would make it difficult to form lasting relationships. But what do I know?
At most places I've been to around here, it's the server who asks if you want separate checks.
Really? I've never had a server ask if we want separate checks- at least not when it's only two people.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD
You have no idea because you're not high wealth or high income.
6% of the workforce maxes out their Social Security contribution at $118,500. At that income level, you're not rich but a $50 dinner tab for a date is no big deal.
Did you not read the first sentence where I stated "I've heard many times..."? My point is the smart rich stay rich because they scrutinize every dollar they spend.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strandedx02
At most places I've been to around here, it's the server who asks if you want separate checks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
I tried to tell him that! This is not a common experience apparently.
I've only run into this rarely, and it was with large groups, like 5+, a lunch outing. So, pretty rarely. Never, ever ever with two people.
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