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Men do it because they like the woman if they don't like her enough they'll split the check and go their separate ways.
So the point is that you do see the value in doing it, so then you should understand why not doing it may be looked upon unfavorably. You don't have to care that it's looked upon unfavorably, but don't act like you don't understand why it might be.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I'll give you the part about intent. My only point is is that I don't think it's as rampant as some of the guys here act like.
I personally wasn't dictating anything about anyone's lifestyle or views, I merely think when you've stomped around the planet 25 plus years longer than others you can sorta see the world with a bit more clarity is my only point. I don't think gold digging is all that common, does it exist, sure, I'm sure there's some people out there looking to take advantage of others, that is no lie.
Normal average everyday people?? I just haven't seen it enough to say it's an epidemic like some here tend to act like.
It's not rampant at all, it's downright rare. Rare enough that most people, even those with some assets, will never ever run into it. Unless they hang out with a certain lowbrow crowd.
Simple enough not to do that.
Add the rarity of it to the notion that if you're suspicious of everyone's intent, you're not going to have fun. Dating is about going out and having fun. If I'm concerned about being used for my modest means, I'm not going to have fun, not much different that if a woman I go out there is going to be on edge and afraid I'm only going to use her for her body, she probably won't have fun. So, I generally try to avoid those people and also not approach things with that mindset. It is ultimately self defeating.
So the point is that you do see the value in doing it, so then you should understand why not doing it may be looked upon unfavorably. You don't have to care that it's looked upon unfavorably, but don't act like you don't understand why it might be.
We won't see each other again so why would I care if she looked down on me for it? Call me low class but if I don't see it going anywhere I ask for separate checks and that's it.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89
You lack manners and class. Classy men pay for a date's meal and or drinks, unless she asks to pay her own way. Then, you still insist...but just once.
Why? Because one day, your attitude will bite your behind...if it already hasn't.
SMART men would not sink money into a date that ain't going nowhere and there won't be a second. I pick smarts over class any day. Like I said if I want a second date I'll pay, if I don't it's dutch and who cares if I p(&% her off?
SMART men would not sink money into a date that ain't going nowhere and there won't be a second. I pick smarts over class any day. Like I said if I want a second date I'll pay, if I don't it's dutch and who cares if I p(&% her off?
Technically, picking smart over class isn't very smart. Mainly because people can be both at the same time.
You have come a long way Diss, and hopefully, you will continue to grow.
How many women do you think are out to get a date with you to score a free burger? Knocking down your door?
Learn to have fun, no matter what the money.
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I just hope I never have to re-enter the dating game again.
Dating is usually fine, occasionally a drag, and, more often than that, amazing.
This forum is not representative (of my experience).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
I'm not saying this to be mean or gold-diggery, but if you know that women generally like men who can provide and you become a man who can provide, why wouldn't you want to show her that? It doesn't mean that she can't also like you for you, but why do you think she would pick you over someone else who she likes who shows her that he can also provide for her? That doesn't mean you need to spend a ton of money on dates but why be cheap just to see if someone "likes you for you?" You (and other men) don't just like women for who they are either, so why do women need to just like you for you?
If you know that men generally like women who perform perverse sexual acts, why wouldn't you want to show him that? Why should a man need to like you just for you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89
You lack manners and class. Classy men pay for a date's meal and or drinks
We won't see each other again so why would I care if she looked down on me for it? Call me low class but if I don't see it going anywhere I ask for separate checks and that's it.
Not just her, but also anyone else that would consider the behavior cheap, tacky, rude, and/or classless. Obviously, you must agree that it is if you wouldn't do it with someone who you wanted to impress.
Some of the men on here are cheapskates Lol. If shelling out $20 is that big of a deal to you on a first date (especially if you're the one initiating the date), it looks like you need more than just dating advice. Try the career forum.
I've been roaming the earth for quite some time, and times, people and attitudes have changed. (Some are not making the world a better place, but that's for another thread.)
I went out with a guy a couple years ago. I generally don't carry cash with me anymore, but thankfully, I had some with me on the first date. He took me someplace that only accepted cash, and I made sure that I was going to pay my way, so that he didn't feel like I owed him a roll in the hay. Believe it or not, I went on two dates after that, because I wanted to give him a "fair chance". Anyway, he must have been reading some of these dating tips online (specifically the one about three dates = sex). He suddenly lurched at me, kissed me and simultaneously started pulling my shirt up. I don't ever remember being so scared. I kept my cool, told him it was an interesting time and never contacted him again.
During the first date with MG, he insisted on paying when I offered. He actually chuckled and looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. He sure is missed. Whew!
So, yes, I'd continue to offer to pay my way on dates. That way, guys don't get bent out of shape that they spent money for nothing. And I wouldn't feel like I owe anyone anything. But frankly, if I have to worry so much about dating, I'd rather stay home with a good book, as someone else said.
Some of the men on here are cheapskates Lol. If shelling out $20 is that big of a deal to you on a first date
Why doesn't that work both ways?
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Mainly because people can be both at the same time. 
