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I'll give you the part about intent. My only point is is that I don't think it's as rampant as some of the guys here act like.
I personally wasn't dictating anything about anyone's lifestyle or views, I merely think when you've stomped around the planet 25 plus years longer than others you can sorta see the world with a bit more clarity is my only point. I don't think gold digging is all that common, does it exist, sure, I'm sure there's some people out there looking to take advantage of others, that is no lie.
Normal average everyday people?? I just haven't seen it enough to say it's an epidemic like some here tend to act like.
I didn't say anything regarding the frequency of it. I'm commenting on it being such an absurd concept to believe. And when someone says they shouldn't worry about it, because what they have (or don't have) isn't worth taking, that's dictating.
Either way, it's all relative to the individual and their experiences.
Quote:
Originally Posted by geminigirl7
You got me, I made a simple spelling error, do you feel better about yourself? I'm human, big deal. Lighten up, it's just the internet. I went back and fixed the mistake since it seems to bother people so much. Good grief, I have real problems! Enjoy your water, alone.
You tell him to lighten up after your snippy, rude post? You know, "you aren't that special"?
Stupidly I didn't. That was over 20 years ago & it would have been my word against his.
I may disagree with some of the women (and men) on this forum sometimes but I am completely against violence against women. The men including the one you named who do that stuff are scum to me.
Last edited by 49ersfan27; 01-10-2017 at 03:46 PM..
I can see where people who don't have much might be worried about losing what little they have. It would be hard to recover/ they don't have a cushion. But a lot of the worry is unfounded, kind of like worrying about being in a plane crash when you're more likely to die in a car wreck. But we all have our irrational fears. But we all need to recognize them as irrational or else they damage our lives and interactions with people.
Gold diggers go after the gold. Most won't bother with someone who makes very little. It's not worth their time or effort. So don't let it cripple you. And if you are upper middle class or higher, just be cautious. The cliche of a gold digger might be a good start she (or he) is much younger than you and has financial problems. The combo doesn't mean gold digger for sure, but that archetype exists for a reason.
I'd be more worried about the nutters out there! There are a lot of people with some seriously miswired brains. I once counted at work how many seemly crazy people I felt with... it was close to 20% And those were just from brief phone calls or emails. I'm sure some people hide the crazy well. And then there are the nutty men I dated before I met my boyfriend (and he shared stories of the nutty women). THAT is what you need to worry about more than gold diggers.
Oh, and just ask to go Dutch if that's what you want to do or meet for coffee or something. Every coffee date I ever went on we each bought our own coffee, tea, cocoa... it wasn't even brought up.
I can see where people who don't have much might be worried about losing what little they have. It would be hard to recover/ they don't have a cushion. But a lot of the worry is unfounded, kind of like worrying about being in a plane crash when you're more likely to die in a car wreck. But we all have our irrational fears. But we all need to recognize them as irrational or else they damage our lives and interactions with people.
Gold diggers go after the gold. Most won't bother with someone who makes very little. It's not worth their time or effort. So don't let it cripple you. And if you are upper middle class or higher, just be cautious. The cliche of a gold digger might be a good start she (or he) is much younger than you and has financial problems. The combo doesn't mean gold digger for sure, but that archetype exists for a reason.
I'd be more worried about the nutters out there! There are a lot of people with some seriously miswired brains. I once counted at work how many seemly crazy people I felt with... it was close to 20% And those were just from brief phone calls or emails. I'm sure some people hide the crazy well. And then there are the nutty men I dated before I met my boyfriend (and he shared stories of the nutty women). THAT is what you need to worry about more than gold diggers.
Oh, and just ask to go Dutch if that's what you want to do or meet for coffee or something. Every coffee date I ever went on we each bought our own coffee, tea, cocoa... it wasn't even brought up.
This is what I was driving at. There are signs that someone is a gold digger and is out to use you, most people an pick up on this stuff fairly quickly and it just isn't something that should be front and center in people's minds.
I think that sometimes all the gold digging claims here by men are men that are lashing out at the world or the women in particular. Again, people use others, not saying that it doesn't happen, but at some point it takes two to tango and there is a certain share of blame to go around if you allow yourself to be used.
I think that in order to avoid some of this stuff is to not talk about money or assets right off the bat. Like I posted up thread there are lots of "millionaire next door" types, I learned about this phenomena after starting to look into investing and reading books along those lines.
It's pretty simple and easy to avoid a gold digger and to put any excess worry into it is a waste of energy, because like I said, people show themselves after a bit and if people are paying attention, you'll be fine.
I've said this before, if I know before the end of the date I don't give a damn about seeing this person again, I will definitely ask for separate checks. Who cares if I p$&@ them off since I'm not seeing them again anyway?
You lack manners and class. Classy men pay for a date's meal and or drinks, unless she asks to pay her own way. Then, you still insist...but just once.
Why? Because one day, your attitude will bite your behind...if it already hasn't.
You lack manners and class. Classy men pay for a date's meal and or drinks, unless she asks to pay her own way. Then, you still insist...but just once.
Why? Because one day, your attitude will bite your behind...if it already hasn't.
I did it because I wanted to, not because I had to.
To say that a man has to pay or insist to pay for a first date/first meal or he's classless or isn't a real man is just flat out stupid.
I did it because I wanted to, not because I had to.
To say that a man has to pay or insist to pay for a first date/first meal or he's classless or isn't a real man is just flat out stupid.
But why did you want to? Because you wanted to make a good impression? Because you wanted to make her feel special? Because you didn't want to risk her thinking that you were rude or not interested?
But why did you want to? Because you wanted to make a good impression? Because you wanted to make her feel special? Because you didn't want to risk her thinking that you were rude or not interested?
Men do it because they like the woman if they don't like her enough they'll split the check and go their separate ways.
If I ask a man out to dinner I fully expect to pay..... since I did the asking. First date or 5th date.... but that's just me.
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