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You got me, I made a simple spelling error, do you feel better about yourself? I'm human, big deal. Lighten up, it's just the internet. Enjoy your water, alone.
I live alone but nice try with the personal attack. Get over yourself because what you think of me doesn't bother me in the slightest.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,727,010 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BCCan
I agree... Paying isn't mandatory but it will help you stand out and leave a positive impression to go with the rest of the date (assuming the date went well). If I have been asked out for drinks or dinner, I will assume that they are able and willing to pay. It is that simple. If we had decided on a plan together then I will be expecting to possibly split the bill. It just seems like such a small 'sacrifice' that can make such a positive impact. Sometimes you wear the low-cut top to impress, sometimes you pay for the meal to impress lol. (kidding)
I am willing to pay, but it will not be for a formal dinner, but something lower cost to start with so I don't waste too much money on something that is not going to go anywhere.
Didn't think it was difficult to understand, but it doesn't have as much as to how much as much as it is about the intent. Doesn't matter if it's getting worked over for a new BMW or a $6 meal at Chick-Fil-A, it's about the intent. It's all relative.
Wow, I can't see using the emotional or brain power to worry that everyone is out to get me. Guys be like "girl only wants me for the free Slurpee" and girls be like "he only likes me for my tatas and wants to get in my pants!"
Now you made go and use urban slang and that never comes off well from a 50-year-old woman.
I've never found that many jerks out there. Sure I've met a few, but overall? Most people are pretty cool and aren't' out to get you.
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I am willing to pay, but it will not be for a formal dinner, but something lower cost to start with so I don't waste too much money on something that is not going to go anywhere.
I did dinner dates in the past with women I barely knew and as I see now it was a mistake. I will be honest I was thinking with the wrong head. Like you, I will happily for a date but it will not be anything expensive until I know I can trust the woman. In 3 years I'll be 30 and I don't feel should waste my time on women who aren't interested in me.
You know who has taken me out to eat on dates? Guys who were hungry. /lol
Just do what you do. Go hike, go eat, go look at stuff.
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Guy should have asked you up front before you ate if that was okay. He doesn't sound like a dating newbie. When I did the OLD thing I bought a lot of meals tilI i wised up. There are a lot of women out there dating just for free meals. I actually had several admit it.
Went through this myself. Lots and lots of free meals, theater tickets etc. and no interest from in a relationship.
Granted, I was in my 20's and pretty naive but these girls thought nothing of taking advantage. They hadn't any interest in a relationship but thought nothing of having me think they did.
It's been a long time since I dated but, back when I did I tried to treat the guy as I would want my brothers to be treated. That worked for me.
The only men that turned me totally off are ones that talked about their money or possessions. Oh, and the one that told me he could rape me after I invited him to a home cooked meal because he'd bought my drinks for me at the local bar. I told him if he tried I would scream so loud the entire building would come running (which they would have). I told him to leave & avoided him like the plague after that.
Most dates I had, if someone paid for me, a concert or something that needed advance tickets, I reciprocated with a home cooked meal or a picnic etc.
It's been a long time since I dated but, back when I did I tried to treat the guy as I would want my brothers to be treated. That worked for me.
The only men that turned me totally off are ones that talked about their money or possessions. Oh, and the one that told me he could rape me after I invited him to a home cooked meal because he'd bought my drinks for me at the local bar. I told him if he tried I would scream so loud the entire building would come running (which they would have). I told him to leave & avoided him like the plague after that.
Most dates I had, if someone paid for me, a concert or something that needed advance tickets, I reciprocated with a home cooked meal or a picnic etc.
Rape you? Did you report him to the authorities? That's scary.
I don't really care to go to super expensive places when it comes to dates. I don't care who pays. I know I'll be able to pay my own way regardless if he wants to or not.
I think WAY TOO much importance is placed on this and people over analyze it. I understand some prefer the "old fashioned" way and some don't. It's okay, let them do what they do. I don't have time to wrack my brain on whether the guy likes me or not, based on whether he pays for me or not. It's just silly to me.
Bottom line..I DO NOT care. It's a first world issue. Life will go on. It's not that serious.
Perspective plays a huge role in how we perceive "advantage"
We all want something from one another when we attempt to involve ourselves with another individual.
That is the underplaying reason for involving another. period.
This is needed to be understood because once our own ideas and ideals of "love" start being introduced the reality of circumstances starts to become skewed and confused by its influence on us.
We are all "taking advantage" of one another when we choose to involve ourselves with another's life. We are literally (as an indivual) asking others to give what we seek from them by reaching out to them.
Where this goes bad is when things go unreciprocated and the reasonings for involvement do not give us a reason to give back.
Their need to be a mutual element involved for their to be continued involvement.
You have to feed the cause to keep the cause alive.
Otherwise, as summed up simply by the saying "relationships requires work"
It's not always going to be about what YOU desire from another, it's symbiotic
You have to give them just as much reason to stay invested in you as they do for you.
People who act only on emotion or purely out of personal interests will always find themselves alone time and time again when attempting to carry on long term situarions with another.
They never bother to give back to the pot and only worry about how they are going to receive what they bothered to involve themselves for in the first place.
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