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There are more interactions than handling the check however. This is my point. The check is about money. Money is not the sum of the date. At least I hope not!
Yeah, I wasn't talking about just the check. You were saying that you wouldn't expect a female friend to walk you to your car. No, we did not meet in a bad neighborhood (although things can happen anywhere), but I do appreciate a man walking with me in the dark. Heck, I'd appreciate a female friend walking with me in the dark too, but I'd much prefer a man to do it.
Seriously...how obtuse (or disingenuous) can you be? If it's been a good date then the guy seeing you off to your car may be the closest thing to a kiss at your door! The "courtesy" is a pretense of him seeing to your safety - so usually a chivalrous bit of fluff that makes most people feel warm and fuzzy and rarely is it predominantly about safety. But if you're meeting at a restaurant, are you going to say your goodbyes in the lobby and kiss THERE? Or do you want a slightly more extended and private opportunity at her car? Nothing is guaranteed but it provides an opportunity if the mood is right for both.
You do not need to be rude.
Sweet Like Sugar describes a first date she met through Tinder. If I were to meet a man for a first date through an app or a site like that, there would be no goodbye kiss, and that takes care of that.
After a couple of dates, chances are he will be picking me up and taking me home or vice versa. Then we worry about what is "private."
Yeah, I wasn't talking about just the check. You were saying that you wouldn't expect a female friend to walk you to your car. No, we did not meet in a bad neighborhood (although things can happen anywhere), but I do appreciate a man walking with me in the dark. Heck, I'd appreciate a female friend walking with me in the dark too, but I'd much prefer a man to do it.
Yes, I realize. I edited my post. Also, I think a woman has more of a chance of being assaulted by someone she meets online than a date she meets through friends at a party or some such. This is just me. Online dating has too many creeps for me and I stopped bothering with it years ago.
You appreciate a female friend walking with you in the dark? Who walks with her, then? Or do you then drive her to her car?
OK, I read through the WHOLE thing & it still strikes me wrong that he did not walk her to her car. To me, that's a serious no-no.
You are on a date. You may or may not have dressed up. You've still made yourself attractive, after all, it's a date.
Depending on the time of night, who knows if there is a wierdo out there who thinks you're pretty & ah, you're alone.
Personally, I always made sure it was dutch so there would be no 'expectations' of payment. But I would never forgive the having me walk by myself to the car. No excuse.
Personally, I always made sure it was dutch so there would be no 'expectations' of payment. But I would never forgive the having me walk by myself to the car. No excuse.
She told him "no" when he asked.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
He did ask me if I needed assistance with walking on the snowy sidewalk outside of the place, but I said I'd be fine and then we went our separate ways.
*Now, I'm not the guy, so I don't KNOW, but this seems like him offering to walk you to your car. He didn't specifically say those words, but people don't say "would you like me to kiss you near your car" and instead say "may I walk you to your car".
Again, the lack of communication that people are exhibiting in these threads is astounding.
Here, Sweet is has some kind of issue that her date didn't walk her to her car, after she told him no, and, I think, thinking he should just do it without asking while Seija would very much NOT like a guy she doesn't know well to walk her to her car.
No one knows who should pay for dinner; asking is bad, assuming is bad.
OK, I read through the WHOLE thing & it still strikes me wrong that he did not walk her to her car. To me, that's a serious no-no.
You are on a date. You may or may not have dressed up. You've still made yourself attractive, after all, it's a date.
Depending on the time of night, who knows if there is a wierdo out there who thinks you're pretty & ah, you're alone.
Personally, I always made sure it was dutch so there would be no 'expectations' of payment. But I would never forgive the having me walk by myself to the car. No excuse.
But what if he is the weirdo? You see such stories in the news every day. "They met online and..."
It is just safer and better to park someplace you can get to quickly, so you can leave easily if the date goes bad.
But what if he is the weirdo? You see such stories in the news every day. "They met online and..."
It is just safer and better to park someplace you can get to quickly, so you can leave easily if the date goes bad.
I wasn't parked far away. There are just several sides of the restaurant where you can park, and I was parked on a different side than he was. I picked a less crowded side, so there weren't many cars back there. I wouldn't have felt uncomfortable with him walking me to my car because I didn't get a bad vibe from him, and I've met lots of guys from online and I've never had a bad experience with anyone walking me to my car.
*Now, I'm not the guy, so I don't KNOW, but this seems like him offering to walk you to your car. He didn't specifically say those words, but people don't say "would you like me to kiss you near your car" and instead say "may I walk you to your car".
Again, the lack of communication that people are exhibiting in these threads is astounding.
Here, Sweet is has some kind of issue that her date didn't walk her to her car, after she told him no, and, I think, thinking he should just do it without asking while Seija would very much NOT like a guy she doesn't know well to walk her to her car.
No one knows who should pay for dinner; asking is bad, assuming is bad.
Communicate.
I definitely communicate. I say "no thanks, I'll be okay" and I mean it. I do not then go home and get angry about him not walking me to my car when I told him not to.
As I said I do not use dating apps or sites anymore. Yes I met some creeps but I also just did not really "click" with any of those dates even when they were nice. Just blah. However when I did I was very clear that my dating style is no dinner for that and just to have coffee or a drink. I think one of the worst dating experiences would be to get stuck eating dinner for a few hours with someone you don't like. (Ask me how I know! ) Also there are so many stories and I am sure many people here can tell a few stories too about people showing up who turn out to have misrepresented themselves somehow (are really older, fat, etc.).
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) Also there are so many stories and I am sure many people here can tell a few stories too about people showing up who turn out to have misrepresented themselves somehow (are really older, fat, etc.).