Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold
Of course not. Not when it's done resentfully or out of a sense of obligation.
That's just phony and acting like a 'stand up guy'.
You have NO business calling me phony. I'm damn sure stand up men don't feel happy doing the right thing at all times. A man does the right thing because it is the right thing to do, not because it makes him happy or joyous. I felt I had an obligation to my mother, I did something I didn't feel like doing to help her and she is better for it. End of story.
You have NO business calling me phony. I'm damn sure stand up men don't feel happy doing the right thing at all times. A man does the right thing because it is the right thing to do, not because it makes him happy or joyous. I felt I had an obligation to my mother, I did something I didn't feel like doing to help her and she is better for it. End of story.
I'm sure your mother appreciated it, either way. And I agree that sometimes we do things because it's the right thing to do.
I'm curious to know what does bring you joy, Dissenter? When was the last time you felt joy?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish
I'm sure your mother appreciated it, either way. And I agree that sometimes we do things because it's the right thing to do.
I'm curious to know what does bring you joy, Dissenter? When was the last time you felt joy?
Far as joy goes;
- when people have gone out of their way to compliment me or say they've admired me because of something I've done. I did one of those "what do you like about me" posts on FB and people said your compassion and you have a good heart. I don't think of myself as a kind-hearted touchy feely person but my actions outside of CD help someone I guess.
- when I used to do photography. There was joy in snapping photos that others couldn't get and bringing cities to people who couldn't visit them.
- when someone uses my opinion on a matter and comes away better for it. My best friend was in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person, I called it for what it was early in the game, she finally came to the realization he wasn't capable of being a trusted partner for her and she credited my observation for helping her realize it.
- when someone uses my opinion on a matter and comes away better for it. My best friend was in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person, I called it for what it was early in the game, she finally came to the realization he wasn't capable of being a trusted partner for her and she credited my observation for helping her realize it.
I'd like to help if I may....it is very important that your friend learn why she chose someone she didn't deserve. Why did she chose someone who wasn't emotionally available.
Because if she doesn't, she may end up choosing the wrong person or people in her life again.
I'd like to help if I may....it is very important that your friend learn why she chose someone she didn't deserve. Why did she chose someone who wasn't emotionally available.
Because if she doesn't, she may end up choosing the wrong person or people in her life again.
Just saying....
Adding on here... In case this helps anyone.
I've dealt w/ emotionally unavailable men from time to time.
What I understand now, is that I attracted these men because I myself am, or was, emotionally unavailable also. These men allowed me to keep my walls up. And deep down I was afraid to let anyone in, so it 'worked' for a time, in odd some way... I felt "safe", but at the same time, I felt stuck, and eventually just felt even more alone than when I actually was alone. Contrast will do that. It magnifies just how unsatisfactory all that truly is..
* (People are always our mirrors. ) *
Real Love scales those walls, tears down all that junk and doesn't allow you to barricade yourself away from experiencing the pain & pleasure of self growth that we need..
If you listen terrible fights, abusing, kids cry etc. long enough (neighbours etc.) you will start to appreciate single life. When ever I leave my apartment first thing which I hear is my neighbour yelling at third floor and kids crying at first floor. I am always happy and in good mood before I open my door and step out.
I spent part of my weekend with a dear friend who has a lovely family. Her husband is amazing and her children are just so adorable and cool. I feel privileged to be invited into their circle for a few hours. But what I understand when I am with them is that while this is a fun activity for me, this is their LIVES. All the time. And it's a lot to handle.
Afterwards, I went to a bookstore I like, drank some iced jasmine tea and wrote down a bunch of books to take out from the library later. It was so peaceful and fulfilling for me. I'm picking up the first book I ordered from the library tonight. Later, I went out to dinner with another dear friend who happens to be going through a bad time, and we lingered and chatted for a couple hours. I was glad to be able to have that time to devote to my friends and my interests and to be able to simply be alone.
It's contentment, peace, and the opportunity to get to really know oneself for the first time, for me anyway. I know what I need for happiness...no one else can complete you, if your not complete already....
No one else can make you happy, if your not happy in the first place....
People need to experience being alone, learning who they are, and liking the company their with, before entering into another relationship, if at all
As I always say, some of us are just not meant to be married, and I am one of those people and perfectly fine with it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
