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But then I think of that man who does give up everything. All his money goes to the wife and kids to fix up the house, buy groceries, buy a minivan, put away for college funds, he carries the bags as the wife traipses through the mall, he spends his week at work 40+hours just so the weekends are spent doing honey-do lists or going on mini vacations to places he would never go if it was just him. Someone who cannot get a few hours to himself is the reality for many in this situation and is probably the worst part of the deal for me.
I'm rambling now, but I do feel EXTREMELY strong about this subject. Anybody who disparages the single life as "you're not really happy" or "you only know unhappy relationships" or "your picker is wrong" will get a swift response from me and people like me.
h.
Obviously when you use this as your example, it's hard to imagine you've ever seen a good relationship or a good life within a relationship.
Obviously when you use this as your example, it's hard to imagine you've ever seen a good relationship or a good life within a relationship.
This begs a question to be asked: If the government wants to marry off its citizens to each other so badly, why are they allowing so many bad relationships to be shown in the media? Can't they censor that stuff?
Obviously when you use this as your example, it's hard to imagine you've ever seen a good relationship or a good life within a relationship.
But doesn't that go back to what someone said earlier about defining happiness? If someone's idea of happiness is "sharing" their life with someone, why do they feel the need to say "we are social creatures, it's unnatural not to"?
That person and others like him/her are the ones I contend with. Not that I will change their minds, I doubt that as much as I doubt they will change mine, but when you hear the disparaging comments (that's how I see them) and as someone else mentioned, the looking down upon and the feeling sorry for, I say stop.
That idea of happiness is not mine, and if I really wanted to start slinging mud, I would provide more examples of those I listed above, I believe a lot of the unhappy husband stereotypes are based in reality (as well as a lot of unhappy wife ones.)
If you are in a happy relationship, I am happy for you. But it definitely feels like religious proselytizing when 'not single' people make comments about how their way is the way, the truth, and the light.
This begs a question to be asked: If the government wants to marry off its citizens to each other so badly, why are they allowing so many bad relationships to be shown in the media? Can't they censor that stuff?
I was being facetious. If pairing up is supposed to be this wonderful thing, why are so many bad relationships in the media? What are people trying to achieve by showing them?
I was being facetious. If pairing up is supposed to be this wonderful thing, why are so many bad relationships in the media? What are people trying to achieve by showing them?
Because watching a train wreck is a heck of a lot more entertaining than watching a station wagon going the speed limit down the freeway.
I personally am not in a hurry to start dating again because I am quite content with my life. Unless the woman really knocks my socks off I don't see myself trying to date for awhile. My dogs will keep me company
That is EXACTLY what I have been saying for the last 12 years..... except it would have to be a guy who knocked my socks off.....
Short-term, yes if they are going through life changes or improving themselves to be a better person. Long-term, no. I've met people who say they're happy being single but their words and actions tells me differently. Meaning, they either complain about how lonely they are or drink as an escape to avoid dealing with their feelings.
Have not read the entire thread, so this is probably a repeat. I am a long-term single (married ten years, then divorced a long time ago and single every since, now age 72).
I do not complain about how lonely I am because I am not, in fact, lonely. I do not drink more than four or five drinks a week, and never more than two per day. (I assume that this is not really "drinking" in the sense that you used it above).
I loved being married, and it was a painful transition to living alone, but after a few years I didn't want to live with someone else again. I enjoy the company of other people, I am most definitely not a recluse. But living with someone is really a different matter. I find the original post insulting.
I do admit one thing: It is probable that I am in a minority in being able to adjust so well and be so content living alone. What I criticize about the original poster is an inability to imagine the wide range of proclivities among human beings. The people that he or she knows whose "words and actions" say differently do not represent everybody.
The obvious point that long-term marrieds can be deeply unhappy has probably been made over and over in this thread, so I choose not to belabor that.
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