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I wasn't sure which forum to post this in, so I guessed maybe this one.
Maybe she's not my best friend, but my best female one lately. Basically early this year I met her, but new from years ago and that's how we clicked. She said she was just looking for FWBs and so I tried that out with her, but we ended being good friends as well, and hanging out and doing all this other stuff together.
I developed feelings for her overtime and chose to ignore it since I liked her as a friend so much and valued that. Last night she told me she has a new bf now, and my feelings all of a sudden skyrocketed and I was surprised as to how much it's affected me. Maybe I'm in love, not sure, but definitely close.
I feel like maybe I should tell her how I feel since it's bothering me a lot more. I'm not looking to get her to leave her new bf if that is the right guy for her and if he makes her happy.
But at the same time, I have this huge weight on my heart that's bothering me, and I feel I should somehow lift it, and clear the air. What do you think?
If she felt the same for you she would not have found herself another man.
This is your issue alone and has nothing to do with her.
This is also a perfect example of *Friends With Benefits* is a movie and does not exist in real life.
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Oh yeah, I figured that she doesn't feel the same for me. I just feel that maybe I should tell her to lift the weight off. But at the same time, I don't want to lose a good friend either.
Even if we don't sleep together, we still do all these other things together, so I don't want to lose that.
I would tell her how I feel and then cut her off when she says she just wants to be "friends" which will be the inevitable outcome, but that's my style. Some people would rather have the friendship. If I can't be exclusive I'm not going to sit there and watch as the other man gets her pregnant and be there by her side in all of it. Not gonna happen. If you like doing all those things together as a platonic friend and aren't willing to state your demands, more power to ya.
Women might like male friends, but when it comes to dating and relationships, unfortunately you tend to need to have this list of qualities such as being cocky, edgy, playful, confident, and aggressive, especially when they are in their 20's and haven't seen that these type of men can be a double edged sword. You are a man. Men are rational problem solvers who desire solutions to problems and homeostasis. You have a problem. You decide how you will solve it. Be the aggressor or sit for years and pine in misery about lost love, hanging around as a friend hoping she changes her mind, which she won't because you're not aggressive about your intentions. Good luck!
Oh yeah, I figured that she doesn't feel the same for me. I just feel that maybe I should tell her to lift the weight off. But at the same time, I don't want to lose a good friend either.
Even if we don't sleep together, we still do all these other things together, so I don't want to lose that.
Essentially, you want to lift the weight off your shoulders and put it on her shoulders. Don't do it, man.
Maybe put some distance between you, don't hang out as much and your feelings will fizzle out.
I would tell her how I feel and then cut her off when she says she just wants to be "friends" which will be the inevitable outcome, but that's my style. Some people would rather have the friendship. If I can't be exclusive I'm not going to sit there and watch as the other man gets her pregnant and be there by her side in all of it. Not gonna happen. If you like doing all those things together as a platonic friend and aren't willing to state your demands, more power to ya.
Women might like male friends, but when it comes to dating and relationships, unfortunately you tend to need to have this list of qualities such as being cocky, edgy, playful, confident, and aggressive, especially when they are in their 20's and haven't seen that these type of men can be a double edged sword. You are a man. Men are rational problem solvers who desire solutions to problems and homeostasis. You have a problem. You decide how you will solve it. Be the aggressor or sit for years and pine in misery about lost love, hanging around as a friend hoping she changes her mind, which she won't because you're not aggressive about your intentions. Good luck!
Regarding the bolded part in pink...
For me cocky and aggressive... no.
Assertive... yes.
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