Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I would steer clear entirely. Sorry, but I think it's ridiculous to feel the need to console someone after their exclusive dating relationship of *gasp* one week, has ended. They weren't married, no one died.
I'm firmly in the camp that if she wanted to be your GF, she would have never started dating someone else.
I have read plenty of your posts and feel that you form unhealthy attachments to women, to your own detriment. You may simply not be someone who can handle being a FWB, as many many people cannot. Don't be the fallback guy. She can seek support from girlfriends and you can opt out of volunteering to be used while thinking it might turn into something more.
Well the main reason why I was consoling her is because she was crying and upset and said she could use a friend, so I was doing it mainly cause she was upset. I didn't think I was being used.
I know what I would be doing under the circumstances. I would steer the 'relationship' back to where it was and make a subtle play for her while at the same time I would date other women and be actively be seeking a new relationship.
Yeah that's what I am doing. I have another date with someone else already planned and looking to date others as well. It's not like I'm just sticking to her only.
There is one thing she told me though, about a couple of months ago, that got me thinking. She said that I was the best sex she ever had. I thought maybe that was a sign that we had more than just FWB chemistry, cause if I'm the best she's ever had, than wouldn't there have to be some intimacy or deeper connection there, in order to be the best?
Yeah that's what I am doing. I have another date with someone else already planned and looking to date others as well. It's not like I'm just sticking to her only.
There is one thing she told me though, about a couple of months ago, that got me thinking. She said that I was the best sex she ever had. I thought maybe that was a sign that we had more than just FWB chemistry, cause if I'm the best she's ever had, than wouldn't there have to be some intimacy or deeper connection there, in order to be the best?
Sometimes yes, I should think. My best sex ever was with a girl I deeply loved. That love drove my sex drive sky high! My best lover on the other hand was one I didn't actually love. My most fulfilling sex was with someone I loved and with whom I had great chemistry.
In her case, the great sex might be because she was free of emotional attachment and could just let herself go or maybe you were sexually in tune with her. I was told once that I know how to use it.
[color="Navy"]i would tell her how i feel and then cut her off when she says she just wants to be "friends" which will be the inevitable outcome,COLOR] but that's my style. Some people would rather have the friendship. If i can't be exclusive i'm not going to sit there and watch as the other man gets her pregnant and be there by her side in all of it. Not gonna happen. If you like doing all those things together as a platonic friend and aren't willing to state your demands, more power to ya.
Women might like male friends, but when it comes to dating and relationships, unfortunately you tend to need to have this list of qualities such as being cocky, edgy, playful, confident, and aggressive, especially when they are in their 20's and haven't seen that these type of men can be a double edged sword. You are a man. Men are rational problem solvers who desire solutions to problems and homeostasis. You have a problem. You decide how you will solve it. Be the aggressor or sit for years and pine in misery about lost love, hanging around as a friend hoping she changes her mind, which she won't because you're not aggressive about your intentions. Good luck!
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05
regarding the bolded part in pink...
for me cocky and aggressive... no.
assertive... yes.
Like sw has said, OP should, definitely speak from his heart or forever wonder 'what if' and 'woulda, coulda, shoulda'. Under these circumstances, I don't think that telling someone how you feel about them equals 'unloading'.
However, assertive is a much better approach of what needs to take place in the event 'FWB' comes to the realization that having a best friend and one who loves you is a far better outcome.
I will also say that I liked the commentary by 303Guy (post#43) as well!
In her case, the great sex might be because she was free of emotional attachment and could just let herself go or maybe you were sexually in tune with her. I was told once that I know how to use it.
Oh okay, this could be it. However, why is it that I am the most emotionally detachable for her compared to other guys? Now that's got me thinking...
Oh okay, this could be it. However, why is it that I am the most emotionally detachable for her compared to other guys? Now that's got me thinking...
I wish I could answer that one. You entered the FWB in the same frame of mind as she did. I would think though, that you should concentrate on being that best f**k since you know that is your strong point with her. Did you merely service her when she was horny or did you make her horny? I would concentrate on making her horny and not always satisfying her (and I mean making her horny so she she has to wait a while before you can give it).
Well if I am to make my own decision on this one, my instincts tell me that I should console her and make her feel better about her bf leaving her after a week of exclusivity, since she is very upset about it, and rightly so...
But not console her too much, so she doesn't think I am getting too close... and then go back to the way things with her since she is a of fun to spend time with just as a friend, and just see what happens, and accept things as they are either way I guess.
If you want to have a chance to break out of the friend zone you need to tell her how you feel. When she had a BF it wasn't appropriate but now that he is gone you have your chance again. If she still sees you only as a friend or at best FWB I would accept it but move on and start looking for a real GF. If she doesn't want to be your GF she will let you know when you let your feelings be known.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
