Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Why do so many men not like valentine's day? Is it because they think women have expectations?
yes and because the media tells them they need to spend $$$$$$$$$$$$. I am not a man but I don't like V day. Make the whole year special, you do not need a made up day that dictates you have to buy an expensive gift.
And women have too high expectations and many men just can't make it right. Women get offended if they receive lingerie or the compliment to be different than other women. A man really has it very hard nowadays. Glad I don't have a penis.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
yes and because the media tells them they need to spend $$$$$$$$$$$$. I am not a man but I don't like V day. Make the whole year special, you do not need a made up day that dictates you have to buy an expensive gift. .
Most of my female friends seem to hate it as well. The expectations, the tension, the cliché gifts, etc.
Its just a Hallmark holiday, that doesnt mean anything. Why are you so easily duped by holiday card companies, jewelers, wedding industry etc. Its all meant to take your money without getting a whole lot back in return. I think its more important how you relate and what you do for each other every day.
I did have choices, but on the flip side I had no real drive for marriage or kids, and like being alone, so if I had no romantic interests, I was fine being alone.
My sister on the other hand, who also has no drive for marriage, had a much harder time dating due to being overweight.
But both of us had little toleration for being in unhappy relationships. I do realize that life can be very complicated despite my usual black and white views.
Don't be sorry.
You opened up a platform for me to speak up about something I felt I had to be ashamed of most of my life--living with the knowledge that in the eyes and standards of our society I wasn't quite good enough and knowing that people looked at me as if I was an idiot--because I was--for choosing such a bad marriage partner. It's all I ever wanted back then--to marry and have a family. I did get one great kid, and sometimes I think the Universe knew what it was doing by not giving me any more.
Because of my poor choice, I also had a career I never wanted, and was fairly successful despite not having gone to college, and now that has paid off with a pension tidy enough that I will be able to manage a comfortable retirement.
I wrote what I wrote maybe to speak up for the lurkers out there who are like me, the men and women in the shadows who wanted very much to be loved but were shut out of the game for whatever reason.
those advertisements make me want to turn the tv off. "If you REALLY love your partner, buy her ...." (some $$$$ jewelry store).
I'll never forget community college a few years back where all the women were comparing their received gifts after V day. It was like a competition. Some who "only" got flowers left class thinking their man failed and should have gotten them more. One complained the ring wasn't big enough (her husband was a bus driver, how big of a ring can he afford???).
One got flowers delivered to her work, candy after work, a big home made dinner ... a few weeks later she broke up with him because he "neglects" her.
And what about the other way around? Women can CHOOSE if they give a gift back. It can be whatever they THINK he DESERVES or just not give him anything and men have no right to even say PEEP about it. LOL. So ridiculous.
yes and because the media tells them they need to spend $$$$$$$$$$$$. I am not a man but I don't like V day. Make the whole year special, you do not need a made up day that dictates you have to buy an expensive gift.
And women have too high expectations and many men just can't make it right. Women get offended if they receive lingerie or the compliment to be different than other women. A man really has it very hard nowadays. Glad I don't have a penis.
I think sometimes that there is also competition among women, as in "See what I got from MY husband/lover/partner", which is kind of not what receiving a gift is supposed to be about.
The marketing departments know this, too, I'm pretty sure.
For me, I don't like V-Day because it's too commercialized. People who weren't looking for a relationship all of a sudden want to find a date for V-Day and serenade him/her. These same people have no problem being single the other 364 days, but all of a sudden want a date for V-Day? Come on. Why wait one day out of the year to show love to your spouse when you should be showing them love year round? That's dumb.
I have never heard of that. Is that a thing? A date for V day to go to an overcrowded restaurant, wait in line for hours, get crappy service because they are overwhelmed, need to eat fast to free the table for the people you can see pressing their nose against the window?
I have nothing against Valentine’s Day, when I was younger I went the whole nine yards, card, flowers, dinner in a nice restaurant, tell her what she knew anyway, that I loved her.
I still have nothing against it, I still make sure that she gets a card and flowers, but I wouldn't feel comfortable in a restaurant full of 20 to 30 somethings, holding hands and swearing undying love.
I never stop telling her that the sun shines out of her eyes, it wouldn’t make it any more convincing if I did it in a restaurant on February 14th.
I have always disliked Valentine's Day. Now...I'm trying not to. Before this relationship, I generally had no love for the whole month of February. It's typically at that point where the weather sucks and I'm ready for winter to stop but the end is nowhere in sight. And as a nerdy, awkward, ugly kid...when you look around at the "beautiful people" (somehow around adolescence, some of us are monsters and some are angels, looks-wise)...it's like Valentine's is your own personal hell. Other kids giving each other candy, flowers...you getting the nice, reinforced message that everyone around you thinks you're rubbish. Then of course every V-day you spend alone feels like it was designed to remind you, that you have no one. Then if you find yourself in a bad relationship, hey, here ya go, contemplate the lack of love in your life. Ain't it just grand, hey...and gifts of things like flowers, candy, they are just cheap bids for attention from someone who generally treats you badly most of the time. Ugh. Also? I am no fan of diamonds or gold. Never was. Jared can go eff himself.
Now? For the first time I'm really, really in love with someone who is in love with me. Over 2 years in, and we're still shmoopy and adoring. His Birthday is right after Valentine's Day. My Birthday was about a month ago. The only thing that sucks about all of this? He just generously gifted me and I feel a need to balance the ledger, and he's getting me even more stuff for V-Day, and I feel like I've got to go big in doing stuff for both Valentine's and his Birthday. I worry that I'm not doing enough. I don't know what to get him. I stress about that. He is giving, giving, giving, and I'm not used to it. I'm...very nearly uncomfortable. Although I am grateful.
I kind of wish we could just...not bother with Valentine's Day. Certainly there's no need to give me anything to make me want to have sex, we're both fairly insatiable for one another in that regard, and only our not-always-in-sync work schedules prevent us from shagging like rabbits almost every day.
Last year and this year, I've booked us a room at some nearby B&B or resort hotel, where we can get away, soak in a hot tub, enjoy ourselves without my teenage sons around. I don't tell him where we're going, just book it and suggest what he should pack, and surprise! when we get there. I make it a combo thing for both events, though I also give him some sort of gift for his Birthday, and a card and his favorite candy for Valentine's.
I would feel really weird receiving Valentine's Day gifts from a guy and not also giving him something. Other than sex. I don't see sex as a gift from me to him...if anything it's kinda the other way round in my house.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
