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Like I said, I've been on there. I def won't be burring any high hopes into it. Frankly, I'll be shocked if I find someone attractive and single on there at all.
We may be getting a little hyperbolic here with how much of an "edgy" look I require here. I'm not even that extreme myself, nor am I'm trying to win some too-cool-for-the-mainstream contest. I just have kinda a hipster/modern rocker look. Big beard, undercut (growing it back long on the top), tend to wear fitted black pants, band tees... not all the time, though, sometimes button downs. Probably too much black though, haha!
A good part of it is finding someone attractive that's accepting of my weirdness. You might be overestimating just how open minded the "regular" crowd is of any sort of deviation from the norm. I do message "normal" ladies fairly often (and I've right swiped thousands of them). They're just orders of magnitude less likely to hit me back. That's just how the cookie crumbles.
Oh, certainly. But like the first guy I'm thinking of, looked kind of nerdy middle aged, dressed like a 50 year old white guy from the burbs, and you would not expect anything unusual of him.
Turns out he fronted a local band for over a decade, and has a mannequin in the living room (that he named, and says he's in love with) and a worm farm in the basement, and enjoys making women uncomfortable with subtle references to rape and murder, possibly a sociopath, perhaps dissociative, honestly who in the heck knows? I sure didn't know what to make of him, other than he was a really fun lover. He didn't bat an eye at my old Tripp pants or my GWAR shirts.
The following man I am still with today, looks like somebody's Dad. Not my Dad, but sure somebody's. Somebody's Dad on vacation, even. But in fact he's thoroughly versed in Buddhist and Tao philosophies, as well as Tantra and other interesting things, he actually likes metal and industrial music (as well as probably a dozen other types--he introduced me to my present fave, Steampunk music) and no one would guess, quiet and unassuming guy he is, he knows how to fly small aircraft, and juggle.
My point is that these people looked BORING...yet were anything but! However, I suppose the factor of an "older" guy getting with a "younger" woman (10-20 year age difference) is enough to help them overlook the fact that I dress like I just tumbled out of a moshpit, and I'm slightly obsessed with monsters and eyeballs and Cthulhu.
Some of this though, can be regional, I think. I always had the impression that people were more clique-ish to some degree say, back in northern VA where I grew up, as compared to like Colorado where I'm at now.
^
I wish some of the ladies I've been sending messages to online had an open-minded outlook like you have.
Well, you said you were on FL, have you gone to any community events, munches or the like? I know not all scenes are equal, but there sure are lots of interesting, unusual, and definitely open-minded people in the one here. (Your talk of your beard actually reminds me of one of our most prominent rope artists.)
LOL if I were you, I'd do a search on the site for a fetish called "beards" and look for women who are "into" "watching others wear" and then message them and be like, "So, that beard fetish you have there...let's talk about that..." (I'm joking.) (Mostly.)
LOL if I were you, I'd do a search on the site for a fetish called "beards" and look for women who are "into" "watching others wear" and then message them and be like, "So, that beard fetish you have there...let's talk about that..." (I'm joking.) (Mostly.)
That might be a good plan. I dunno though. When I see "loves beards" on womens' profiles and I always approach it with a bit of trepidation. Always in the back of my mind is, "If I shave off my beard, is this girl gonna leave me?"
That might be a good plan. I dunno though. When I see "loves beards" on womens' profiles and I always approach it with a bit of trepidation. Always in the back of my mind is, "If I shave off my beard, is this girl gonna leave me?"
Nah. The beard is the bait! (But...disclaimer: do not put actual bait in your actual beard.)
I agree that FL isn't really optimized to be a dating site (and I believe that was deliberate.) But I also met my SO that way.
I guess my personal impression is that those who are just profiles on FL but not involved in the real life communities, seem a little sketchy to me (even if they aren't.) I know that's probably unfair. But when I would get a message from a guy, and say "well, come to the next get together at this bar" and he'd be like, "No, I don't involve myself in communities," and especially if he said there was "drama"...that to me was a red flag. I guess because it's so sexually charged there, that it seems almost like they expect that I'm going to just show up at a totally un-vetted dude's house and go do stuff in his basement with him, activities that could threaten my safety even if he's a good person but untutored in best practices, and I'm supposed to trust any of this why and how? And at worst, he might in fact have prior experience in a community he doesn't want me to know about, like maybe he was kicked out for bad behavior. So I can't imagine getting together with someone from FL if that is the entirety of their presentation to me.
However, as an aid to facilitating community activity? Oh, it's wonderful for that. I use it to track what's happening, when and where, and who is going to be there. And I'm totally willing to meet up with new people (to make friends, since I'm taken) at events. My boyfriend had been part of the community for a few years already, but was only semi-active at the time, saw my profile and suggested we meet up and chat at an upcoming bar-social event.
I used to think I wanted the guys who had that "edgy" look, OP, too. I even had it in my OKC profile back in the day. I was looking for long or brightly colored hair, piercings and ink, artists and musicians, that kind of thing. Or so I thought. Then I met a guy who looked completely (and boringly) normal...but turned out to be intensely weird under the surface, and I was like "wow...this whole complex/layered thing...it's interesting..." Realized I enjoy more the ones who, no matter what their outer appearance, have really strange depths once you start getting to know them. And that some of the ones loudly flying a freak flag, were not always all that interesting beneath the surface.
At a glance I read this with FL = Florida, and was so momentarily confused.
I gave up on online dating last year. It's not in favor of the men and women get tons of emails weekly....so you're just a number to them. Even the most plainest looking women get tons of emails...so you could be the same caliber as they are looks-wise, and still they'd ignore you.
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I'm not even that extreme myself, nor am I'm trying to win some too-cool-for-the-mainstream contest. I just have kinda a hipster/modern rocker look. Big beard, undercut (growing it back long on the top), tend to wear fitted black pants, band tees... not all the time, though, sometimes button downs. Probably too much black though, haha! 
