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I'm not presuming anything. You said it yourself, in another thread:
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_
You're not kidding. It's been that way since I was little. Some docs put me on the autism spectrum, others just think I don't have the proper skills. I disagree with both of them. I have the skills, I just don't gain anything personally from being socially active. I like having just one person. And some family. I don't have friends.
Now, what makes you think a woman who does not have sex immediately, like you do, will want you as a partner? You're judging theses women in a negative light for the exact choices you are making. Do you not get that? Hypocritical comes to my mind. Are you testing them?
That's fair. And it's something that I've recently had to face, as I haven't been in this type of situation ever. So this is self exploratory as much as anything else.
Quote:
OP, you are systematically destroying any chance you have at partnering with the type of woman you claim to desire. It is difficult for me to believe you would think otherwise. Most women, in fact all women, I know would not ever consider you as a partner. Get ahold of yourself.
I don't know who would or wouldn't consider me as a partner. I suppose that's what this dating thing is all about.
Right. So in your thinking, it is the self discipline to hold off on having sex (even though you want it) until commitment and feelings are on the table, that is evidence of a woman who has self esteem.
Precisely. Although I wouldn't use the term "self esteem," i'd use "self worth."
I'm not presuming anything. You said it yourself, in another thread:
A couple doctors telling my parents I might be on the spectrum at the age of 13 isn't conclusive in light of the fact that my primary physician was certain I had no cognitive-behavioral issues. I'll trust the guy the who has been treating me since I was an infant over anyone else.
Having read posts after the above, and your explanation, I feel that you are rather clueless about relationships after two marriages.
Pointing out that I'm flawed without offering any sort of insight isn't helpful and makes me wonder why you would even say that? I'm clueless. Great. Thanks for that nugget.
A couple doctors telling my parents I might be on the spectrum at the age of 13 isn't conclusive in light of the fact that my primary physician was certain I had no cognitive-behavioral issues. I'll trust the guy the who has been treating me since I was an infant over anyone else.
Then why did you bring it up on a thread asking for help?
Anyway, it may not be autism. My son is autistic and he is sensitive and appreciates others, and hates to hurt anyone's felings. I think people may be mistaking all antisocial behavior for autism. Simply not true, sociopathy is an example of this. Or paranoia, dissociation, there are a lot of things. All are you still in therapy to figure out what it is?
BTW, 25 years ago even most doctors didn't have a clear grasp on what autism could entail. And I'm not talking about today's clinical parameters, I'm saying as laid out my Hans Asperger himself, years even before you were 13.
That's fair. And it's something that I've recently had to face, as I haven't been in this type of situation ever. So this is self exploratory as much as anything else.
OP, you are systematically destroying any chance you have at partnering with the type of woman you claim to desire. It is difficult for me to believe you would think otherwise. Most women, in fact all women, I know would not ever consider you as a partner. Get ahold of yourself.
I don't know who would or wouldn't consider me as a partner. I suppose that's what this dating thing is all about.[/quote]
RJ, I truly do hope for you that you take to heart all that the folks here on CD are saying to you. I say this respectfully--You appear oblivious to the effects of what your current course of actions will do to you in the future. Your choices and actions have consequences.
Be the person you want the world to be to you. I got no wisdom past that.
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