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She wants nothing from OP, per him, yet OP is worried how expensive divorces in CA are.
Cut your losses and give her the divorce man. Stated that the relationship has been rocky for a few years so just let her go.
Suggestion, next time pay more attention to your wife and chances are she won't stray. Dunno if that's the case but if attention isn't given at home, she'll find the attention she seeks elsewhere.
Good luck
I'm guessing you're going to wait for her to file for divorce instead of doing it yourself? In that case, she might not actually divorce you or leave and you'll just have to sit there and tolerate her having her affair and then act like normal once that one is over until she finds someone else to have an affair with.
Denial most likely...it takes a while to accept it's REALLY happening to you. It seems unreal. Some feel as though the rug has been jerked out from under you.
Crying will come...and it will be good to get out all your pain and discomfort.
I PROMISE...you WILL be happy again.
Yes, but I know it's real this time.
I know there will be those days when it will be silent when she is gone, I will combat the thoughts of her doing what I imagine she is fantasizing about in her head, but I have to let her go for me and my health.
Thanks, I hope I find happiness when this is all said and done, it's going to be a journey I thought I'd avoid till the day we left this earth. My Grandparents were married nearly 75 years, both lived in to their late 90's and I guess I'm not holding up to that then again times have changed.
Yes, don't say anything at all and don't even think about Mr. Internet. You're safe. It most likely is a fairy tale. YOu don't have to be friends with her if you don't want to. It's your choice and your decision. You can just ignore and/or block her. You have no more business together after you divorce.
I don't know, I suspect she will stay in our area if she moves out, she doesn't like to drive the roads here, and I believe Mr Internet is in LA, because I saw some searches on her browser for LA Dodger Games, I don't picture her ever driving the 405 by herself, so he is going to have to come down and get her.
The thing that is difficult as many of you know after 18 years, there is a lot of pictures, wedding pictures and etc, along with some things that I don't want to part with, that's going to be tough and I hate to throw them away.
Agree!! Why do people let other able bodied people mooch off of them?
Well she lost her job during the big downtown, to be honest she quit then got another job that paid more but quit it 3 days after then she wasn't able to get anything, lack of opportunity but since moving out here she hasnt' made much effort in finding anything and even in a good market, employers are still picky.
I provided for her more than a lot of Men do, based on our friends in FL we left behind. She had nice things, nicer than some of my female coworkers who made good money had in some respects, she put me in debt too. I always tried to look at my glass half full, but lately I have been on her case about getting a job and I think that's one of the dominoes that tipped her over.
I know there will be those days when it will be silent when she is gone, I will combat the thoughts of her doing what I imagine she is fantasizing about in her head, but I have to let her go for me and my health.
Thanks, I hope I find happiness when this is all said and done, it's going to be a journey I thought I'd avoid till the day we left this earth. My Grandparents were married nearly 75 years, both lived in to their late 90's and I guess I'm not holding up to that then again times have changed.
Your grandparents were married for nearly seventy-five years, but who knows if they were years of contentment, of strife or of general indifference? A marriage of a lengthy duration isn't necessarily a successful one; times have changed in that those who are grossly unhappy in their marriages can far more easily rectify that situation than in times past. Not all divorces are bad and from what you've written, you married a classic user. Time to move on, heal yourself as best you can, and hopefully find love again with a woman who is not a "project," i.e., self-supporting and relatively emotionally/mentally stable.
She wants nothing from OP, per him, yet OP is worried how expensive divorces in CA are.
Cut your losses and give her the divorce man. Stated that the relationship has been rocky for a few years so just let her go.
Suggestion, next time pay more attention to your wife and chances are she won't stray. Dunno if that's the case but if attention isn't given at home, she'll find the attention she seeks elsewhere.
Good luck
She say's "nothing" but she has "nothing" and i mean it, she has no money, no savings just material objects and clothes. She mentions getting an apartment or going to a hotel, but where is that money going to come from? Me
We both are at fault here, as I stated it's not one-sided, I just think she watches Lifetime too much and fantasizes about the movies on there and reality.
I'm guessing you're going to wait for her to file for divorce instead of doing it yourself? In that case, she might not actually divorce you or leave and you'll just have to sit there and tolerate her having her affair and then act like normal once that one is over until she finds someone else to have an affair with.
No, I will have to do it, she is not too good at doing stuff like that.
The question I have is, should I make copies of the evidence I found, letters, e-mails and notes? To prove to the courts she was cheating on me? I read it is such, but I guess a Lawyer could tell me for sure.
To be honest, I don't think she is playing with a full deck on this whole thing, that is she talks the talk but when it comes to walking the walk, she may fold.
Your grandparents were married for nearly seventy-five years, but who knows if they were years of contentment, of strife or of general indifference? A marriage of a lengthy duration isn't necessarily a successful one; times have changed in that those who are grossly unhappy in their marriages can far more easily rectify that situation than in times past. Not all divorces are bad and from what you've written, you married a classic user. Time to move on, heal yourself as best you can, and hopefully find love again with a woman who is not a "project," i.e., self-supporting and relatively emotionally/mentally stable.
They were from a different generation, had 6 kids and times were different. I agree with you though.
My problem is, when and if I'm ready to test the waters, I'm going to very cautious and that may look bad.
It's just one of those things, you think you know someone so good, but find out they are not the person they portrayed or acted like, this happens all the time though.
Your wife is a habitual liar and a user of other souls. IMO, the best thing you can do is get her out of your life, permanently. She will not change, as evidenced by her past and current conduct, and she will cause you pain again.
Another thing, please stop facilitating her negative and abhorrent behavior by making it easier to USE you. Wish her luck on the move out.
I despise people who betray their partners. Hallmark of selfishness and weak character.
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