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I don't know, I suspect she will stay in our area if she moves out, she doesn't like to drive the roads here, and I believe Mr Internet is in LA, because I saw some searches on her browser for LA Dodger Games, I don't picture her ever driving the 405 by herself, so he is going to have to come down and get her.
Never underestimate what a woman will do to get her bills paid. For all she knows Mr. Internet is probably married.
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The thing that is difficult as many of you know after 18 years, there is a lot of pictures, wedding pictures and etc, along with some things that I don't want to part with, that's going to be tough and I hate to throw them away.
No, I will have to do it, she is not too good at doing stuff like that.
The question I have is, should I make copies of the evidence I found, letters, e-mails and notes? To prove to the courts she was cheating on me? I read it is such, but I guess a Lawyer could tell me for sure.
To be honest, I don't think she is playing with a full deck on this whole thing, that is she talks the talk but when it comes to walking the walk, she may fold.
Ask your lawyer that, but I don't believe you need evidence. They literally don't care in CA. It's no-fault divorce.
Personally, I believe she is not going to file because I believe it's all a fantasy for her, but you can not trust this woman. The truth has been revealed and I just hope you have the self-esteem to walk away from her.
Let her go. You should have the first time she started this knowing how you met her yourself, but you can’t change that fact now. There are lots of chameleons out their Take this all as a live and learn moment.
Consult and attorney about your options.
Last edited by rego00123; 10-13-2018 at 06:25 PM..
I won't give her a 2nd chance, I already did that years ago.
From what I read, you've given her about 5 chances. That's four too many.
You need to cut her loose. She's made her bed, and it's time to lie in it. Don't fool yourself into carrying her, and yes, you should make copies of the things you saw. And YOU need to file so you can take charge of your future and stop living according to her whims.
You don't know what may come in handy in the months to come.
They were from a different generation, had 6 kids and times were different. I agree with you though.
My problem is, when and if I'm ready to test the waters, I'm going to very cautious and that may look bad.
It's just one of those things, you think you know someone so good, but find out they are not the person they portrayed or acted like, this happens all the time though.
Reasonable caution is wise and will not look bad to the right people.
You *did* know your wife well, but it seems as though you willfully chose to ignore or gloss over things when she showed you time and again who she truly is a person (even before you became an official couple, let alone married). It happens. Love can be blind like that. Take this experience and learn from it.
Keep the wedding photos and paraphernalia. Many people do. (Others have a bonfire...or let the former "other half" keep those things.)
She wants nothing from OP, per him, yet OP is worried how expensive divorces in CA are.
Cut your losses and give her the divorce man. Stated that the relationship has been rocky for a few years so just let her go.
Suggestion, next time pay more attention to your wife and chances are she won't stray. Dunno if that's the case but if attention isn't given at home, she'll find the attention she seeks elsewhere.
Good luck
Also, OP should get divorced ASAP before she starts thinking about alimomy. It could easily be granted by the judge since she never had a career or job during marriage and you were her support system.
I know a case where a couple got divorced and the wife requested alimony of $3K per month. In addition to child support. She had a well paying job on her own with a salary pretty close to her husband’s. He wouldn’t have been able to afford his living expenses with such a hefty alimony.
She say's "nothing" but she has "nothing" and i mean it, she has no money, no savings just material objects and clothes. She mentions getting an apartment or going to a hotel, but where is that money going to come from? Me
We both are at fault here, as I stated it's not one-sided, I just think she watches Lifetime too much and fantasizes about the movies on there and reality.
Come up with a lump sum to give her as part of tbe divirce settlement.
Quote:
Originally Posted by high_plains_drifter
No, I will have to do it, she is not too good at doing stuff like that.
The question I have is, should I make copies of the evidence I found, letters, e-mails and notes? To prove to the courts she was cheating on me? I read it is such, but I guess a Lawyer could tell me for sure.
To be honest, I don't think she is playing with a full deck on this whole thing, that is she talks the talk but when it comes to walking the walk, she may fold.
Yes make copies - evidence that there was a pattern of behavior. And gives you good authority on why she should settle quickly.
Your wife is a habitual liar and a user of other souls. IMO, the best thing you can do is get her out of your life, permanently. She will not change, as evidenced by her past and current conduct, and she will cause you pain again.
Another thing, please stop facilitating her negative and abhorrent behavior by making it easier to USE you. Wish her luck on the move out.
I despise people who betray their partners. Hallmark of selfishness and weak character.
Unfortnatley, you are correct, she seems content in lying and being such this goes back to day 1. This thing with the guy she met online, she thought I'm dumb and wouldn't find out, not that I am spying on her or have software on the PC to log everything, I could do it but there really is not needed and I read it's illegal.
She did go out of her way to change all her passwords so that I couldnt' log into her e-mail anymore, we had an open door policy meaning she could log into my e-mail anytime she wanted as it was saved on the desktop to be such. She went out of her way to figure out how to change it and she is not too savy, I saw she searched how to do it. She also keeps her phone concealed now, because I have it set-up with my fingerprint as well and she likely doesn't know how to delete it.
This behavior and what she is doing makes me want to toss her out on her ass, but I realize that will just be more painful for me. I just wonder how she woud react if the tables were flipped and I was doing this to her?
Never underestimate what a woman will do to get her bills paid. For all she knows Mr. Internet is probably married.
So keep them. That's okay. I kept mine.
He might be married and lying to her, wouldn't surprise me. How she can sleep at night is beyond me, I have not been sleeping good at all and I'm the one that has to get up at the crack of dawn to put a roof over our heads. She is in for a big wake up call, especially if Mr. Internet changes his opinion on her after they first meet. I believe they have shared photos and likely have face timed.
Photos are hard, because there is not just us in them but family on both sides that is no longer with us.
Ask your lawyer that, but I don't believe you need evidence. They literally don't care in CA. It's no-fault divorce.
Personally, I believe she is not going to file because I believe it's all a fantasy for her, but you can not trust this woman. The truth has been revealed and I just hope you have the self-esteem to walk away from her.
I read about the no-fault, I also read seperation in CA allows a couple to still reside under the same terms, which I'm still thinking may be the only recourse since she cannot afford a place on her own and I cannot do both, but that seems unhealthy especially if she starts meeting up with this guy and dating him, nothing I could do to say Adultry since most states don't acknowledge it. Also would have to tolerate hearing calls likely.
I think you are right about the fantasy, but it appears they have been chatting for 2 to 3 months little known to me until I investigated the browser history.
I'm going to meet with a Lawyer this week, hopefully I can start rebuilding my life in some shape or form.
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