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I'm sorry to hear this, and that she's ready to throw in the towel without any couples counseling, or without telling you years ago, that she wasn't happy and why, to give you a chance.
Thanks, this is my first relationship and marriage, I don't know if I'd do it again at my age 40's.
It just seems like she doesn't care, you know when someone breaks or thinks they find a way out, she made the comment that she is trapped with me because I'm the one with the good job and making the money. She had to option to leave in Florida 5 years ago if so.
Don't let "Divorce" scare you into staying with this woman. It really is not that bad and in your case, if she's not asking you for anything, it can't get any easier than that. You really need to let her go now that she thinks she's going to be "saved" by Mr. Internet. And for heaven's sake PLEASE don't take her back if once she realizes that Mr. Internet is not her savior, she comes running back to you. Please take this opportunity to get away from this women and move on with your life without the dead weight.
No, they don't care in CA. (I divorced in CA)
We have no kids, I forgot to mention that, no real assetts and no debt too high yet. When I read through the laws, it seems like it will be quick, problem is I don't want her to leave and have me pay for her rent either, cannot afford it.
I won't give her a 2nd chance, I already did that years ago.
It just seems like she doesn't care, you know when someone breaks or thinks they find a way out, she made the comment that she is trapped with me because I'm the one with the good job and making the money.
A lot of women feel this way. That's why I believe a woman needs to be able to support herself financially during the marriage and know for sure that she wants to be in it with that guy.
Why are you okay with her being with you just for the money and stability? I'll never understand why so many men are okay with this.
Yes, consult an attorney now to learn just what your rights are, what comes next, what to expect in the end.
Sorry you're dealing with this...been there.
Thanks, I feel alone here and empty but I'm not crying because maybe I'm cried out from the tough times of the past 5 years? I have no friends or family here, family is also not in speaking terms due to some family issues, so it's a double wammy, even if I told my family they would say "Told You So". I knew the risks in coming out here, I just need to battle through this.
Possibly, I think she is bi-polar, which may explain the thinking. She use to cry a lot, when we broke up the first time after less than a year, she was in tears and cried a lot over things, but as of late she doesn't seem to show much emotion.
I think I'll stay single for a while, not rushing into anything after this, but thanks for the post.
Yes, you should, but don’t judge all women by this one. There are plenty of nice women who will value you. Steer clear of the ones with mental problems or other baggage.
A lot of women feel this way. That's why I believe a woman needs to be able to support herself financially during the marriage and know for sure that she wants to be in it with that guy.
Why are you okay with her being with you just for the money and stability? I'll never understand why so many men are okay with this.
Well I'm no saint, I'll take that, I do have some attitude problems and do ***** about work, but much of that also came from her when she was working, so neither of us is not guilty, it's just that I thought she knew me and knew I was working on correcting my faults.
She cannot support herself, never has and I don't think she ever will. She was in an abusive relationship with her last boyfriend, he was very abusive verbally and also made her go 1/2 on all expenses even going out to eat. I never did that to her, ever.
I never felt it was just for the money and stability, things were different, it just changed after moving out here, got worse between us, tension and fighting. When she mentioned sex to me, I was like well I tried but you pushed me away. I tried in the past 2 years a few times, and she wasn't interested.
We have no kids, I forgot to mention that, no real assetts and no debt too high yet. When I read through the laws, it seems like it will be quick, problem is I don't want her to leave and have me pay for her rent either, cannot afford it.
I won't give her a 2nd chance, I already did that years ago.
I'll bet she and Mr. Internet have been talking about moving in together and she thinks Mr. Internet is going to pay for it. Let her think that.
As far as alimony you need to talk to a lawyer, but alimony is something that typically gets settled between the two parties by agreement and rarely reaches the judge. And right now she thinks she doesn't need it, so go with that. I would give her the divorce as quick as possible while her brain is pickled, rather than dragging it out giving her time to sober up and figure out that she can ask for alimony.
Yes, you should, but don’t judge all women by this one. There are plenty of nice women who will value you. Steer clear of the ones with mental problems or other baggage.
I might try at some point, but I need to be single till I sort out the emotional issues.
I flat out told her, do not get involved with another man whether you think you know him or not, I said the best thing for you to do, is to be single.
Thanks, I feel alone here and empty but I'm not crying because maybe I'm cried out from the tough times of the past 5 years? I have no friends or family here, family is also not in speaking terms due to some family issues, so it's a double wammy, even if I told my family they would say "Told You So". I knew the risks in coming out here, I just need to battle through this.
I'll be talking to an attorney soon.
I understand....felt alone and empty too, with no family, when my marriage of 23 yrs. was ending.
What helped me was a divorce support group...all going through the same things together...get support, discuss your issues. Yes, men attend these too. Just google divorce support in your area.
Good luck, take it slow, as it can feel overwhelming at times.
I'll bet she and Mr. Internet have been talking about moving in together and she thinks Mr. Internet is going to pay for it. Let her think that.
As far as alimony you need to talk to a lawyer, but alimony is something that typically gets settled between the two parties by agreement and rarely reaches the judge. And right now she thinks she doesn't need it, so go with that. I would give her the divorce as quick as possible while her brain is pickled, rather than dragging it out giving her time to sober up and figure out that she can ask for alimony.
I'm not sure who he is, or he is who he say's he is, she is very tight lipped and secretive, I told her I'm fearful for my safety now since you are probably divulging stuff about me and she also watches Lifetime way too much, you know the movies on there and the plots. I don't think she is that stupid, but I don't know, that is to give out too much info like address and where I work.
I'm hoping this can be a clean slate for me, because I already carried and paid off a lot of her debts over the years, it's too much to think I'll be carrying her out if so.
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