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I think it's difficult to turn off all sense of concern for a human being you lived with and cared about for over a decade.
OP it's perfectly natural to still care on some level, despite all that has happened. But realize that you can have those feelings while also doing everything you possible can to exit relationship as soon as possible. If you feel the need for reconciliation for closure sake later, then take those steps in the future.
Yes, exactly how I feel about it, though my opinion has changed on her and her ways. Sure there was some things that never improved, like her job situation which put strain on me which caused me to make comments which she now uses against me.
She doesn't see things in a Cause and Effect manner. She is okay with lying and witholding info, that's why this is hard for me, because what she is doing goes against my values and I thought we shared common values and maybe her old habits were erased, but that's not the case.
I will feel better when it's over, I will start with a clean slate and not rush out looking for anyone to fill the void as I'm content in being single till I feel emotionally I'm ready.
She claims she wants nothing, but she cannot live on nothing, so I don't know how that will pan out. I would have to lower my rent to half to pay for her's, and here that's a pipedream. She knows that and seems to not want to put any strain on me, which is odd considering what she is doing at the moment.
They all say that when they're in the affair fog. My ex wife said the same thing out of guilt. For your sake, the fog will linger and not dissipate. Not that I was going to cheat out what my ex wife deserved during our marriage, nor did we have millions to divvy up, but it sure made divorcing much easier when your cheating spouse is acquiesced to your divorce demands.
I knew one couple who was divorced for 10 years but continued to live together because of finances. I know another couple who has been divorced for 3 years but still living together because of finances. The latter couple dates other people, but they keep it to themselves. They don't bring their gf/bf over to the house, but they both know they are dating others. I know this because my good friend is the GF of one of the ex-husband-who-still-lives-with-his-wife. I think it's nuts and tell my friend so but for now she is tolerating it because she thinks he's going to move in with her. They are all in CA, btw.
I mentioned that, but Separation not Divorce, thinking it might be feasible based on the 6 month waiting period but to be honest i don't think anything will change in 6 months with respect to her finding a job.
I couldn't do it, nor could she, she is too secretive now with the communication involving this guy. She doesn't want me to find out any details or who he is. One thing is for sure, if she get's burnt by this guy or the fantasy isn't what she is playing in her twisted head, the door won't be open to come back.
Now you need to turn off your brain and stop thinking so much.
Thanks, I'm with you. I need to let go of knowing what I don't know or not being told with this guy, I need to accept that just because I had faith in her and trusted her, that doesn't mean the same now. If she makes a dumb decison or get's herself in trouble, I just want to have ammo to defend myself.
They all say that when they're in the affair fog. My ex wife said the same thing out of guilt. For your sake, the fog will linger and not dissipate. Not that I was going to cheat out what my ex wife deserved during our marriage, nor did we have millions to divvy up, but it sure made divorcing much easier when your cheating spouse is acquiesced to your divorce demands.
That explains it, the "fog" must be my Wife's only feeling of remorse, she mentioned her prior boyfriend and what transpired, he left her nothing, she didn't have much when i met her. I flat out told her the difference now is we are legally married, regardless what you think about "well it was like we were practically married" Commonlaw Marriage does not apply in FL.
I do appreciate everyones response and thoughts, I don't want to overdo this or be self-centered, so no need to reply anymore, I'll post an update at some point on the outcome, pray for me.
I mentioned that, but Separation not Divorce, thinking it might be feasible based on the 6 month waiting period but to be honest i don't think anything will change in 6 months with respect to her finding a job.
I couldn't do it, nor could she, she is too secretive now with the communication involving this guy. She doesn't want me to find out any details or who he is. One thing is for sure, if she get's burnt by this guy or the fantasy isn't what she is playing in her twisted head, the door won't be open to come back.
Why separate and not divorce? With separation you’re just extending the time you’ll have to deal with this bull****.
I'm going to see a Lawyer this week, then go from there. I just know that in CA there is a 6 month waiting till divorce is final, that means 6 months of Mr.Goodbar, when I like to be free of it for good.
No, it doesn't mean that at all.
You keep saying little things that make it seem as though you believe two people who are legally married to each other are obligated to cohabitate whether they like it or not. Dude, cohabitating is a choice. You and your wife can stop cohabitating this minute if that is what one or both of you choose.
Why separate and not divorce? With separation you’re just extending the time you’ll have to deal with this bull****.
No, I want Divorce it's just unfortunate I moved to CA with respect to this because the waiting period will be grueling. In FL it's 20 days.
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