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Some of y'all might remember me from my post from a few months ago. We lost our (owned) home, mostly because of my husband's drug addiction. We were almost homeless. I ended up being able to buy a mobile home in cash, and we found a great landlord to rent a lot from. We are "stable," as "stable" as we can be at this point.
Anyway, so, as I said in that same post...I actually make pretty good money. About $1,000 a week. My husband has done coke/crack for the vast majority of our 10 year relationship. He has been clean for about 5-6 months, though. And he really has been.
But, he still "has to have" about $1200 a month in weed.
That's not all. Not only do I pay for me and my husband's cell phones, but I now pay for his brother's (who is homeless by choice in Florida) and his grandma's (who raised him, is in her 70s and lives off of Social Security) cell phones.
He gives our Netflix password to EVERYONE. Including his sister, who actually lives in a half-million-dollar house.
We have cable, and he gives our Suddenlink password to his grandma, brother, etc. so that they can log into the HBO app, etc. and watch.
He gets REALLY mad when I ask him why he gives our passwords to everybody or why I have to pay everyone's way. Or like...we had a discussion about buying 1/4 or 1/2 cow meat from a local farmer. He was talking about how we could give some to his sister, his grandma, blah blah.
But why DO I have to pay for everyone? I have to pay for my husband's speeding tickets and his child support. I have to pay for his weed. Thousands of dollars of my money has gone to his dope habit. I have to support his entire family, too?
HOW did my life end up this way? WHY do I have to take care of everyone all the time? I am losing my freaking mind here. I was raised by my mom, who was abused by my dad, to make my own money so I'd never have to depend on a man.
But I feel like I get intimidated and stomped all over the same way.
I get fussed at about dishes or laundry just like my mom did. Worse, actually. My dad just kinda expected clean clothes and hot food. I don't remember him being picky about food or fussy about stuff. And at least he DID work all day and provided for our family.
My husband is SUPER fussy and complains ALL the time about EVERYTHING. He doesn't like my square white bowls because they're too annoying to eat cereal or soup from. He doesn't like our silverware because it's too flimsy. He doesn't like chicken or turkey except in VERY specific situations. He will NOT eat leftovers.
He complains about how i do laundry or dishes. How/when I cook.
I mean, he's the one who hasn't worked since like 2012. It doesn't even matter. And now I apparently have to pay for everyone's cell phone and cable...and meat? and everything. wtf. And get fussed at like I'm a housewife who doesn't do her chores well enough?? wtf
Last edited by nctrailertrash; 10-18-2019 at 01:29 AM..
Then open your own bank account. Don’t give him any access to the account. Paychecks go to that account; bills are paid from that account. Change all Netflix and cable passwords and don’t share the new passwords with him. Cancel phones. Stop paying speeding tickets and child support. If he goes to jail, that’s the consequences. If he wants a say in how the money is spent, or wants his drug habit funded, he can get a job.
(The only thing I *might* consider paying is the grandma’s phone, especially if she is in poor health. But I’d give her a timeframe to make arrangements for her own phone. Look into Consumer Cellular for her. Super cheap and geared toward seniors.)
Last edited by hertfordshire; 10-18-2019 at 05:21 AM..
What exactly do you see in this guy? He sounds like a huge millstone that you're dragging through life.
You teach people how to treat you. You've taught him that you are a pushover cash cow for him, and now for his family as well. Not sure why you're here whining about it if you aren't going to stop putting up with such treatment. *shrug*
Why are you still with him? He will not change. You cannot make him change. This is what your life is going to be like unless you get up, pack up, and leave. Find a lawyer. File for divorce. Leave. This is not fixable.
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