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I'm a divorced guy in my 40s looking to date women in the same age bracket. I have been on and off the various dating sites and I have started to notice a trend that women in this age bracket just don't know how to carry a conversation online. This happens both when I start the conversation and in cases where they have started the conversation. I'll give you an example:
Woman: Hey...any fun plans this weekend?
Me: Yeah, going out for drinks for my friend's birthday tonight. How about you? I noticed in your profile you mentioned you are a teacher. That must be a very rewarding job.
Woman: Staying in
And that's the end of the conversation. She did not even acknowledge my comment about the job which I tried to use to enhance the conversation. She simply answered my question about the weekend, and did not ask me any follow up questions. Lots of 1 or 2 word answers with nothing left to keep the conversation going.
I had this same scenario play out with 3 different women just this weekend. Have women in this age range just been out of the game for so long that they forgot how to have a conversation? Or maybe just not used to online dating in general?
I'm a divorced guy in my 40s looking to date women in the same age bracket. I have been on and off the various dating sites and I have started to notice a trend that women in this age bracket just don't know how to carry a conversation online. This happens both when I start the conversation and in cases where they have started the conversation. I'll give you an example:
Woman: Hey...any fun plans this weekend?
Me: Yeah, going out for drinks for my friend's birthday tonight. How about you? I noticed in your profile you mentioned you are a teacher. That must be a very rewarding job.
Woman: Staying in
And that's the end of the conversation. She did not even acknowledge my comment about the job which I tried to use to enhance the conversation. She simply answered my question about the weekend, and did not ask me any follow up questions. Lots of 1 or 2 word answers with nothing left to keep the conversation going.
I had this same scenario play out with 3 different women just this weekend. Have women in this age range just been out of the game for so long that they forgot how to have a conversation? Or maybe just not used to online dating in general?
Bolded - that's so cliche. Perhaps you need a more intelligent approach?...
I like your response, but maybe you are loading too much into one sentence? She asked about your plans not your profession. Personally, it feels like a little too much in response to your plans. It might be more appropriate to leave this for later when the conversation naturally goes to profession.
Sometimes it's good to take a step back and ask why YOU are getting this response. It's like walking up to a stranger and quickly asking as many questions you can in one breath. Relax.
Then why would she initiate a conversation to begin with?
Just messing with you.
Typically, women are more verbal than men. Your experience sounds a little like sexism and ageism.
Perhaps, in your example, you could have simply asked if she’d like to meet for coffee someplace kind of nice rather than overwhelming her with the plans you already had for the evening?
Keep it simple. Take it slow. And whatever you do, don’t say all women of a certain age are alike unless you have scientific data to back it up.
It seems a bit much to cast this generalization to every woman over 40. It's not like women turn 40 and then suddenly lose their ability to articulate themselves. I would guess you've had a handful of bad experiences.
I guess my advice -- As someone who also dates online, there are definitely times when I've get in funks of being frustrated and start to generalize "all guys with XYZ are this way" or "all guys who say this are this way." My advice is to take a break from it for a week or two and come back with fresh eyes. There's little less attractive than a man who seems bitter or resentful on those sites.
Typically, women are more verbal than men. Your experience sounds a little like sexism and ageism.
Perhaps, in your example, you could have simply asked if she’d like to meet for coffee someplace kind of nice rather than overwhelming her with the plans you already had for the evening?
Keep it simple. Take it slow. And whatever you do, don’t say all women of a certain age are alike unless you have scientific data to back it up.
Just to clarify, this was my first conversation (ever) with this particular woman. Are you saying I should have offered a date right off the bat?
Some people turn off immediately at the "going out for drinks" thing, especially if they don't drink. Maybe she saw no point in talking further after that.
Maybe she was hoping for a, "No, no plans. Would you like to get coffee?" and when you had plans she shut down.
I agree that the comment about teaching was incredibly cliche and if someone said that to me, I'd raise the eyebrow of corniness on that one.
You didn't mention any of other conversations, just that they consisted of one or two word answers. Maybe they simply are not interested or your answers turned them off? No way to know, but to ascribe that to all women over 40 seems silly to me.
Your nickname is absolutely awesome by the way. I miss those guys.
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