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Why is she posting her questions to strangers here on CD instead of confiding in her "three friends" who witnessed her marriage? Surely they have more insight on this situation.
Belle, we cannot help you, I'm afraid. You came here asking if this sounded right and we are ALL telling you what's going on and you just keep posting all his excuses /lies.
I'm sorry to say this, but he doesn't love you. If he loved you he would be shouting it from the rooftops regardless of what anyone else was going to think. He would spend the holidays with you. He wouldn't be able to spend a night away from you. He not only doesn't love you, he's playing you.
You're starting to question him and now he's in a hurry to start a family which will trap you. You'll ignore our pleas, but I'll echo what my fellow posters have said: DO NOT GET PREGNANT.
I feel sorry for you. It's one thing to be naive, that's understandable when one doesn't have the life experiences gained through the years. But to ignore the signs and advice of well meaning people when you've asked for it because deep down you know he's lying is something else altogether.
Things that are completely messed up, not normal, and should cause you to worry:
- he's ashamed of you
- he doesn't live with you
- he hasn't given you a key to his place
- you don't have any proof he added you to accounts, financial instruments, or insurance
This could all be resolved quite easily. Give him a deadline -- 2 weeks -- to introduce you to his family and friends and to give you a key to his apt. Get his insurance card and call the number on it to confirm that you're covered.
If he balks, walk away.
AND DO NOT GET PREGNANT!
Excellent points.
Also, you will need an official copy of your marriage certificate before you can attempt to change your SS number and state ID card. If you were my friend or relative I would make that part of the two week deadline.
Go to the courthouse and get a copy of your marriage license. You need to know if you are legally married as a first step.
This ^^^. It does sound legal to me if it was at the courthouse with witnesses signing.
Then call your husband’s HR department and ask about the insurance cards. You should be “on the books” by now if he added your name for health coverage. Do this ASAP! Once you get coverage, take care of your medical and dental issues immediately.
Set a deadline (next week?) for a key to his apartment and an introduction to his parents. Start looking for an apartment for you both.
I think we are all mystified why this marriage was so rushed. No engagement, no planning, no mutual living arrangements, no enjoying holidays together as newlyweds - why? Especially because he did not treat you well in the past and you became homeless. What is to be gained by this timing? Plus he just broke up with his “psycho” girlfriend.
I will add to the Do Not Get Pregnant chorus. Really, we are all hoping for the best for you.
This ^^^. It does sound legal to me if it was at the courthouse with witnesses signing.
Then call your husband’s HR department and ask about the insurance cards. You should be “on the books” by now if he added your name for health coverage. Do this ASAP! Once you get coverage, take care of your medical and dental issues immediately.
Set a deadline (next week?) for a key to his apartment and an introduction to his parents. Start looking for an apartment for you both.
I think we are all mystified why this marriage was so rushed. No engagement, no planning, no mutual living arrangements, no enjoying holidays together as newlyweds - why? Especially because he did not treat you well in the past and you became homeless. What is to be gained by this timing? Plus he just broke up with his “psycho” girlfriend.
I will add to the Do Not Get Pregnant chorus. Really, we are all hoping for the best for you.
Go to the courthouse and get a copy of your marriage license. You need to know if you are legally married as a first step.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shamrock4
This ^^^. It does sound legal to me if it was at the courthouse with witnesses signing.
(snip).
Well, it is legal if the magistrate also signed it and all of the paperwork was turned into the Register of Deeds to be officially recorded (and a few other steps). But, with all the sneaky stuff that Belle's FWB/husband has done I would be concerned that one of the steps was "accidently overlooked".
But that is very easy to check. Belle, just go to the courthouse where you were married and request a certified copy of your marriage certificate from the Register of Deeds. I believe that it only costs $10 and you can get a copy immediately. It is a weekday so you can do it right now.
I believe, that the copy that you and your husband received at the wedding is just a keepsake and not an official, certified legal document that you will need if you decide to change your name (sort of like the baby footprints and fancy certificate from the hospital is not a certified, official, legal birth certificate -at least in my state).
Good luck.
Last edited by germaine2626; 01-03-2020 at 12:01 PM..
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