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We talked for three hours and there was some talking in circles but basically he doesn’t want me meeting them because of the same issues there was before about caring too much what they might think. Like he didn’t say it meanly but that’s what I have come up with
Hes not lying about his job or who is he but there’s also other stuff going on and I’m not an idiot. It seems to me he is used to a certain lifestyle but that has to be left in the past since we are married now
No he’s not religious at all. He is an atheist and honestly it bothers me but I also think that you can’t pressure people into having a relationship with God. That’s something personal and I can only pray for him.
I’m done with this whole thing :/ I told him when he gets back we need to find a place and that’s it it I am done for real.
We talked for three hours and there was some talking in circles but basically he doesn’t want me meeting them because of the same issues there was before about caring too much what they might think. Like he didn’t say it meanly but that’s what I have come up with
I think he IS lying and this ^^^ is the easiest way to get you of his back. There is more into it. He is not honest.
How long he thinks he can hide the fact that he is married. To you?
Does that mean that he will deny that he is married? Never introduce you to anyone he knows? Walk a few steps in front of you and pretend that you both are not together?
How old he is that he so desperately wants to please his family?
Why did he marry you in the first place if he is ashamed of you???????
Is he planning to groom you before introducing to the world?
Would you please answer some more questions I asked on my post #174?
There is no way to help you without knowing more about all that.
What if he clipped a check to the form, and the check bounced ?
OP do you have the physical, stamped, certified Certificate of Marriage ?
I would be concerned the guy purposefully skipped a step and somehow the docs aren't filed. But maybe it is indeed all above-board. I was cringing at the possibility of OP being told "Okay, but we have no record of this marriage ..."
I don’t have a copy but he does and Ive seen it. It’s with other paperwork at his place. Thought it be better for him to hold onto it
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1
Belle, I'm still confused about New Year's. He had to work both New Year's Eve and New Year's Day? So did you go out the night of New Year's Eve? Or did you spend the evening alone together or what?
No so he came back home after staying with parents for s few days. He left the 31st so he was gone on Bew Years night and he’s been gone. He comes back tomorrow night.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Perhaps...immigration fraud?
No he’s not an immigrant. He’s from here. Not this state but he’s from here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina
If he is an auditor that audits and closes financial books in other companies, some of them overseas, then he is making VERY good money. Maybe he married this clueless person just for tax purposes?
My son used to do that kind of work for a while and we are talking about high $100 to 200K+ salaries.
When my son was traveling overseas for work, and that happened to be over holidays - his company offered to pay for his wife to accompany him or visit over the weekends if the stay was several weeks long. Even without this offer, he could just take her with him to at least celebrate New Year together. NO ONE in his line of work is working on New Year Day.
So, we are talking about a guy with a high paid, stable job. Therefore his "small bachelor" pad where he can't even live with his new wife doesn't make any sense.
He could have a nice house, condo or at least a bigger apartment somewhere and this "bachelor pad" is just his "sex" and weird double life secret place.
For someone making such kind of money (if this is actually true), he shouldn't be still hunting for an appropriate place to live with his wife, a month after he got married. He should have his place (or any other place) ready for his wife before he got married.
If he is really auditing books, then his high paid job should be easily visible by nice clothes, watches, luxury car, lifestyle and demeanor.
OP, what would you say about that?
From what OP is telling us, she doesn't really know anything about her husband - where he works (did she ever call him at work to his work number?), what is his job, what is he making, and what he is doing after work.
She doesn't know anything about his private life, his friends and his family.
Would an honest person keep all that info from his wife? Isn't that very weird?
There are other questions that beg to be asked: what is the age difference (normally not an issue, but here might be relevant) and how far from each other they are living now (same city? different cities?) - also usually not important, but her husband might choose this setting to be able to live a double life without being worried that OP would find out.
Obviously, OP is intrigued, suspicious and worried about many things but instead of taking matters in her own hands, she spends her time asking questions Internet strangers that can only make wild guesses.
If I were OP, assuming that she has little money and a car - I would check on OP to find out what is REALLY going on:
I would park somewhere near his work late afternoon (just about the time he usually gets off his work) and follow him home to confirm where he really lives and if he lives alone.
Drop unannounced at his work just to say "hi" or with a lunch box in the hand.
That would confirm where he works and what he does.
Check the public records online to see if he was previously married, has any other records or owns a home/condo somewhere. Check on LinkedIn on his profile to confirm his work.
If she can't communicate with her husband, or her questions get dismissed - that would be a good start.
This whole scenario is way too weird and needs to be investigated, one way or the other.
BTW: Most states require both spouses, the officiant, and one or two witnesses, to sign the marriage certificate. Who were the witnesses to sign yours, OP? Yours/his friends or random strangers?
Okay so I do know where and he works and the company. He doesnt have a house bc he is rarely gone, that’s why he just has an apt. That makes sense to me. Why pay a ton of money for s place you aren’t even at most of the time.
No I don’t have a car or a license. I need to learn to drive but haven’t yet. I have checked up on him online and know his LinkedIn page and all that.
If you have a key to his apartment go over while he is gone. Did you google him? I wouldn’t contact his parents. You don’t know how severe his reaction will be. Personally I don’t care if my son’s marry at the same financial/economical level. I just want them happy.
No I don’t have a key yet. Yes I have looked him up.
I don’t have a copy but he does and Ive seen it. It’s with other paperwork at his place. Thought it be better for him to hold onto it
In North Carolina, you're required to have two witnesses to the marriage. In many cases, this can just be your maid of honor and the best man. Witnesses are required to sign the marriage certificate in many cases. This just states that they witnessed the ceremony and that it was a valid wedding.
So, who else signed the marriage certificate (witnesses)? His friends, your friends or random strangers?
Quote:
No so he came back home after staying with parents for s few days. He left the 31st so he was gone on Bew Years night and he’s been gone. He comes back tomorrow night.
He stayed with his parents and not his wife? Spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with them, and left you on New Year Day alone?
Do you live in different cities? How far apart?
Quote:
Okay so I do know where and he works and the company. He doesn't have a house bc he is rarely gone, that’s why he just has an apt. That makes sense to me. Why pay a ton of money for s place you aren’t even at most of the time.
If he does what he said he does, then he is not poor (accountants and financial advisers make great money) and could certainly afford something better than a bachelor pad where is no place for you to live.
So, if he doesn't have or care for a real place to live because he is rarely home, then why did he marry you? To make you sit at home alone?
How old you both are?
Does he have any kids/want kids?
Belle, sorry, and I really do not mean this to sound unkind but we all know you come across as a very naïve person and if that's the way you really are then I think you have been tricked and are not actually legally married to him. I don't believe he really is who he has told you he is and I think he sees you as the perfect gullible patsy and he is taking advantage of you in criminal ways you don't understand.
Everything you have said about him here and in other threads, and I do mean EVERYTHING, makes him sound more and more like he is a criminal racketeer and he doesn't want other people to know about your existence or his involvement with you. I think he is hiding your existence from family and other people and keeping you as his dirty little secret for criminal intents and purposes that are beyond your understanding.
Has he been getting you to put your signature on documents that he is calling either legal, tax, insurance or financial investment documents that he says are in connection with your marriage to him? Has he opened up a joint account with you at a bank? Does he have access to your own bank account and does he make deposits of money into your bank account that he has told you to NOT touch because it is for future investment or tax or insurance purposes?
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