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Her instinct is to stay with him, and she apparently is doing just that.
Given where she's come from in life and where she is now, there's an enormous potential up side if she can make this relationship work. Hypergamy is a wonderful thing if it works. I think she should give it her best shot for the next several months.
Given where she's come from in life and where she is now, there's an enormous potential up side if she can make this relationship work. Hypergamy is a wonderful thing if it works. I think she should give it her best shot for the next several months.
This isn't the case here.
He deceived her, and hasn't made the changes he told her he has.
Given the problem at hand, staying with him is not a good situation for her.
Given where she's come from in life and where she is now, there's an enormous potential up side if she can make this relationship work. Hypergamy is a wonderful thing if it works. I think she should give it her best shot for the next several months.
You seem like a level-headed guy, so I'm confused.
Why would you encourage a woman to stay with a man who lies, manipulates her, has her doing things she's uncomfortable with, isolates her, leaves her alone for long periods of time and obviously is using her as a side piece?
This is an extremely unhealthy relationship. You're doing her no favors by giving her false hope.
Given where she's come from in life and where she is now, there's an enormous potential up side if she can make this relationship work. Hypergamy is a wonderful thing if it works. I think she should give it her best shot for the next several months.
You must've missed Belle's last post wherein she states the so called "ex" GF, is STILL IN HIS LIFE, also some "gross" things (she doesn't specify what they are) he is still doing...scroll back a few and read it. (post no. 298)
You don't think a fella who marries a gal while having a GF, then tells the new bride he is still involved with the GF (I can't believe I'm writing that it's so RIDICULOUS) is a standup guy, do ya? (to put it mildly). I'd LOVE to hear the GF's take on it all.
Last edited by VexedAndSolitary; 01-06-2020 at 02:26 PM..
Given where she's come from in life and where she is now, there's an enormous potential up side if she can make this relationship work. Hypergamy is a wonderful thing if it works. I think she should give it her best shot for the next several months.
You are joking? Right?
At least I hope that you are joking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1
You seem like a level-headed guy, so I'm confused.
Why would you encourage a woman to stay with a man who lies, manipulates her, has her doing things she's uncomfortable with, isolates her, leaves her alone for long periods of time and obviously is using her as a side piece?
This is an extremely unhealthy relationship. You're doing her no favors by giving her false hope.
You know what's galling? She won't do any of this.
At some point, people need to stop making excuses for OP, giving her a pass on her exquisitely bad choices because she is mentally slow, had a poor upbringing, etc.
She is much savvier than you give her credit for. The truth is, she is selfish and stubborn. She wants what she wants no matter what.
For the last several years, she has received REAMS of thoughtful advice from dozens of very smart, very experienced people. Great suggestions to protect herself. Links to services that could improve her life. People have spent a lot of time and attention on her to the point of bringing her problems into their RL.
But she has failed to show any appreciation or offered a THANK YOU for the effort, care and compassion some posters offer consistently.
To her, we are dum dums who know nothing and have no decent advice to offer, so she just blows it off.
Yep, galling.
You know, if you feel that all of your good advice is being ignored, you don't HAVE to participate on Belle's threads. No one is forcing you to provide input. And you're incorrect that she has failed to show any appreciation or offer a "Thank you" for advice given. She may not have followed the advice to your satisfaction, but it's still her life to live. I don't think she "blows off" the advice given, given that there's also a whole boatload of speculation that goes on in her threads, and a whole lot of snark and shaming as well. None of us are in her shoes, and none of has the right to cast the first stone if she does the "wrong" thing.
Given where she's come from in life and where she is now, there's an enormous potential up side if she can make this relationship work. Hypergamy is a wonderful thing if it works. I think she should give it her best shot for the next several months.
You can't make a "marriage" work with someone who is cheating on you from the get-go. Full stop.
You can't make a "marriage" work with someone who is cheating on you from the get-go. Full stop.
What's really sick is he was cheating on the GF with Belle before, and now has them both (and God knows who else?) so who is being cheated on, Belle or the GF...God what a sordid mess! He sounds like a total dirtbag for real.
What's really sick is he was cheating on the GF with Belle before, and now has them both (and God knows who else?) so who is being cheated on, Belle or the GF...God what a sordid mess! He sounds like a total dirtbag for real.
Guys like this make me understand why "nice" guys complain when they can't find women to date, when d-bags can have more than one woman in their life. It boggles the mind.
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