Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think that everyone's wild imagination is gone way too far now - we have drug mule, murder for life insurance, testifying in a court, pedophilia, etc. in a picture here.
All that unsubstantiated and really scary. No wonder that OP doesn't want to come back and comment on that anymore.
THANK YOU. I was trying to come up with a way to say the exact same thing. I think we had the full gamut of wild theories except maybe "ritual sacrifice for a satanic cult." Poor Belle.
THANK YOU. I was trying to come up with a way to say the exact same thing. I think we had the full gamut of wild theories except maybe "ritual sacrifice for a satanic cult." Poor Belle.
Come on, let's be honest. Poor Belle's sad situations are self-inflicted and not a result of what people are posting here.
Or, more likely, since they don't know their son is married, she will be just be written off as a "psycho ex" who loves "drama"......
Maybe or maybe not. Depends if they are decent people who would want to know about their son double life.
OP has nothing to lose at this point and I think it might be a good idea.
Or, more likely, since they don't know their son is married, she will be just be written off as a "psycho ex" who loves "drama"......
Very true. I'm thinking it really doesn't matter what the family does or thinks. It's more about her drawing a line in the sand with him. He doesn't expect Belle to do this. It will catch him off guard.
I think that everyone's wild imagination is gone way too far now - we have drug mule, murder for life insurance, testifying in a court, pedophilia, etc. in a picture here.
All that unsubstantiated and really scary. No wonder that OP doesn't want to come back and comment on that anymore.
He didn't need to marry her for any of those reasons. He has some sexual fantasies, but what man doesn't. Most fantasize, but not many are able to find a girl who would actually make their fantasies real. That's not a reason to marry.
Drug mule? Not a reason to marry. Pedophilia? Not a reason either. Is he interested in her sister's kids? No.
Testifying in a court? That's very far reached, and if he continues to keep secrets then there is nothing to tell. She never said anything about him introducing her to the drug scene, or that he is a user.
What I think is that he had one of the "whim" moments and just decided to marry her to keep her on the back burner. The fact that there was no waiting time made it very easy.
Now a month is gone and he is hiding from her, probably came to his senses.
How many times did he saw OP after they got married? What else happened between them in that time? Did they look for a place to live together? Did they spend time together?
It looks like he is still happily living with his GF, goes to work, visits parents and nothing changed since.
He is not introducing her to his parents, because he already introduced his (more suitable) GF and probably she is attending all his family/work/social activities with him. Introducing OP as his now wife is not going to happen.
Their marriage isn't legally valid and it's now a matter of time when it will be annulled.
If it doesn't, I would suspect that it never happened.
All our speculations are around the fact that he didn't introduce her to his family and they don't live together. We now know why it's so - he has a normal life with his GF. She is not crazy, but maybe boring in bed.
He did or did not marry OP, but he is making her believe that they are married. She has no car, no means and is not "street" smart enough to investigate what really happened and what to do about it. She has no support system and is ashamed to tell anyone about her life because she doesn't want to be judged. People judge, people speculate, make up the wildest scenarios. See the posts on this thread.
I don't know how to help as OP is desperate to believe that she is loved, got married to a good, caring guy, that her life is finally going to change for the better and she is just waiting for it to happen. I don't think she really WANTS to know the truth.
She is now finding bits of it, she has her doubts and suspicions, but she is not "brave" enough to ask one of her "friends" that has a car to drive to her husband's work or confront him and his GF at their home. I bet the GF doesn't know about her either.
She is just sitting at her apartment alone and waiting for him to knock on her door...
I understand Belle not wanting to come back here and post any updates. Look at all the crazy "theories" posters have come up with to explain her husband's (or not, if that's the case) behavior toward her. Its pretty obvious that ANY explanation of the situation is going to be a bad one, but the general response is going to be "What did you expect? You made a naïve, stupid decision to marry this guy." Geez, who on earth wants to hear that crap when they're already suffering the consequences?
I can’t go into a lot of detail which I know may be annoying or frustrating but basically old behavior that was a problem last time around is not over and it’s still going on and worse than I thought. I still don’t know all the details (I don’t think I have anyway) and a lot of it is just gross. Basically I’ll say he’s keeping his ex around and has been apparently. Now he did tell me this.
Well, I think you are the only one to have believed that he was visiting his parents on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. Sorry to hear it but you have dismissed all the red flags and warnings. You don't really need to know more details in order to protect yourself, do you?
Quote:
We are still together but I don’t really know what’s going to happen.
You had better figure it out and fast. Just don't flunk or drop out of school. I bet he would like that.
Did you by any chance tell him about your marriage proposal from the Mormon guy? Is that what prompted his change of heart after he dumped you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADogNamedSam
Dude could flash an old marriage certificate at her from a previous marriage. or, hell, even an automobile title … if all she saw was green lettering and a raised seal, she could be convinced it was "theirs". In my mind I envision him pulling it 2/3 out of a manila envelope for her to see (ever so briefly) then quickly putting it back in the safe, "for safe-keeping".
I won't be convinced until she tells us she has her own CERTIFIED, STAMPED, SIGNED, SEALED, OFFICIAL copy from the county courthouse, in her hands. "I saw it" just doesn't leave me convinced it wasn't a sham, regardless of three witnesses, NC marriage website contents, etc.
She also supposedly saw plane tickets for the two of them to go to Paris. Just days before the scheduled trip, he picked a fight with her out of nowhere and dumped her. She ended up homeless shortly after. If he had tickets, one of them was never for her, IMO.
I hope for her sake that they aren't legally married.
The "pervert" theory is based upon data gleaned from all the posts about him, not from the fact he is hiding her existence from his family.
That he is perverted is pretty clear.
That he picked her because she's such an easy victim makes total sense.
That he told Belle per post #298 that the GF isstill around is pretty significant; note that Belle and he are still together even after this.
Let that sink in...they are still together after he admits to her the GF is still around.
He may want a poly triad with the two women and be working up to implementing that.
I agree with most of what you've posted, except I think she's not brave enough to face the truth.
If she were, she'd be doing more than asking an habitual liar to be honest with her, and she'd be taking some of the actions we've suggested.
He may not be as bad as some of the things people are posting, but he's also far worse than just being 'a messed up guy'.
It can't be repeated enough - she's in an unhealthy and unsafe situation with this man and she needs to get out.
Like I said - she doesn't really want to know the truth. It will destroy her dreams of a better life with a guy who loves and cares for her. To give up all the hopes it's not that easy as people think. So, she is clinging to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1
Come on, let's be honest. Poor Belle's sad situations are self-inflicted and not a result of what people are posting here.
We're not the bad guys.
Her bad situation is complex and a result of her upbringing, poverty, lack of education and helpful resources. She has her share of bad luck which could kill the healthiest self-esteem. Not everyone is born street smart... There are too many psychological patterns due to abuse or other circumstances.
No one said that her life is a RESULT of what people posted here. We aren't bad guys, but some people thrive on other people's misery. Pointing out flaws is not helpful, it's only deepening her depression.
People who don't take advice see their reality differently.
While we look at their lives with the clarity that comes from being uninvolved, they observe things as they wish it would be, and they miss what's important. They tend to distort reality to suit their individual needs, and in this case, OP desperately wants to believe that, despite all bad signs, her life with this guy has a positive future. Yes, she is in denial, but I think she lacks the skills necessary to think it through - to plan a solution. And then, again, she doesn't have the means to follow up. It's a vicious circle and she is stuck in it. It's very frustrating...
Like I said - she doesn't really want to know the truth. It will destroy her dreams of a better life with a guy who loves and cares for her. To give up all the hopes it's not that easy as people think. So, she is clinging to them.
Her bad situation is complex and a result of her upbringing, poverty, lack of education and helpful resources. She has her share of bad luck which could kill the healthiest self-esteem. Not everyone is born street smart... There are too many psychological patterns due to abuse or other circumstances.
No one said that her life is a RESULT of what people posted here. We aren't bad guys, but some people thrive on other people's misery. Pointing out flaws is not helpful, it's only deepening her depression.
People who don't take advice see their reality differently.
While we look at their lives with the clarity that comes from being uninvolved, they observe things as they wish it would be, and they miss what's important. They tend to distort reality to suit their individual needs, and in this case, OP desperately wants to believe that, despite all bad signs, her life with this guy has a positive future. Yes, she is in denial, but I think she lacks the skills necessary to think it through - to plan a solution. And then, again, she doesn't have the means to follow up. It's a vicious circle and she is stuck in it. It's very frustrating...
I hear you and I sympathize with her. Many of us had to dig our way out of the abyss of childhood drama, alcoholism in the home, and emotional and physical abuse. So, trust me, I get it.
But at some point when you seek the advice of those who may be wiser, you need to actually process what they're saying and take the advice you sought. Okay, she can't come up with a plan? Got it. Let others come up with the plan.
This isn't a matter of frustration, it's real concern because she's made herself more and more vulnerable to this man.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPowering1
Come on, let's be honest. Poor Belle's sad situations are self-inflicted and not a result of what people are posting here.
We're not the bad guys.
Neither is she though.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You had better figure it out and fast. Just don't flunk or drop out of school. I bet he would like that.