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I don't blame people for that for anything, personally, except perhaps poor judgment if they expect more to come from it.
The married/committed (again, assuming monogamy... which is not something to assume, there are A LOT of open marriages and relationships out there) person is the one that made the commitment. Not the third party. They are the one doing wrong.
Nahhh, assuming the 3rd party KNOWS the other person is in a monogamous relationship...she's doing wrong as well, and she knows it. In years past, that person would've been called an interloper, and would've been named in divorce court, back in the day, and might've had to pay damages.
Silly to harp on the infidelity when this is a case of gaslighting/ con job/deceit by a predatory POS on both Belle and the GF no doubt (unless the GF is in on it). That he lied about having the GF still at home, lied about them being legally married, lied about his proclivities no longer being a thing, there are far more serious things afoot here than cheating. Not to mention the lies as yet undiscovered (I for one don't think his job is nearly as highfalutin as he told Belle).
If I had to wager money:
he wants a poly triad with prob swinging with others thrown in
the gf is a longterm thing, she's not going anywhere
Belle is the newbie he's grooming to join them like Birdie said
Last edited by VexedAndSolitary; 01-08-2020 at 02:39 PM..
Nahhh, assuming the 3rd party KNOWS the other person is in a monogamous relationship...she's doing wrong as well, and she knows it. In years past, that person would've been called an interloper, and would've been named in divorce court, back in the day, and might've had to pay damages.
NC is one of the few states you can still get damages from a 3rd party that breaks up a marriage.
Silly to harp on the infidelity when this is a case of gaslighting/ con job/deceit by a predatory POS on both Belle and the GF no doubt (unless the GF is in on it). That he lied about having the GF still at home, lied about them being legally married, lied about his proclivities no longer being a thing, there are far more serious things afoot here than cheating. Not to mention the lies as yet undiscovered (I for one don't think his job is nearly as highfalutin as he told Belle).
If I had to wager money:
he wants a poly triad with prob swinging with others thrown in
the gf is a longterm thing, she's not going anywhere
Belle is the newbie he's grooming to join them like Birdie said
I think if this was his plan, he wouldn't have said the gf was psycho and he would have introduced the two with the gf helping to groom her. I highly doubt this is what's behind all of this.
We now know he never stopped seeing his gf, so after several months of going without the sex he really wants to have, he roped Belle in again to keep her as a side piece and not his main attraction.
I think if this was his plan, he wouldn't have said the gf was psycho and he would have introduced the two with the gf helping to groom her. I highly doubt this is what's behind all of this.
We now know he never stopped seeing his gf, so after several months of going without the sex he really wants to have, he roped Belle in again to keep her as a side piece and not his main attraction.
Not necessarily, as he did lie at first re: the GF then admitted later she is still very much in his life, also that his perversions are still a thing when he'd told Belle they were no more, so my thinking is he was going to try to lure Belle slooowly around (grooming) to being OK with the GF etc, but she found out about the GF too soon.
If he just wanted Belle on the side he could've easily resumed where they left off, right prior to him dumping her and her becoming homeless.
This is him lying to lure in then revealing truths as he manipulates her into being OK with his sick lifestyle. The sham marriage was part of the dog and pony show.
I don't think it's at all possible to fake a courthouse wedding. And to attempt to do so is probably a crime.
I pictured this from the beginning - an accomplice in a suit who pretends to be a judge, a room in the courthouse that is conveniently empty, fake paperwork. Men have been faking marriages for centuries - haven't you read any historical romances?
A side piece he married? Seems like a pretty big risk.
We don't even know that they're married. According to her, she doesn't think they are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VexedAndSolitary
Not necessarily, as he did lie at first re: the GF then admitted later she is still very much in his life, also that his perversions are still a thing when he'd told Belle they were no more, so my thinking is he was going to try to lure Belle slooowly around (grooming) to being OK with the GF etc, but she found out about the GF too soon.
If he just wanted Belle on the side he could've easily resumed where they left off, right prior to him dumping her and her becoming homeless.
This is him lying to lure in then revealing truths as he manipulates her into being OK with his sick lifestyle. The sham marriage was part of the dog and pony show.
He wouldn't have had to break up with her in the first place if this was the plan.
I have no doubt that his intentions are nefarious and have nothing to do with what's good for her, but until she comes out and tells us that this is what she's discovered, I've got doubts that this was his plan.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy
Nahhh, assuming the 3rd party KNOWS the other person is in a monogamous relationship...she's doing wrong as well, and she knows it. In years past, that person would've been called an interloper, and would've been named in divorce court, back in the day, and might've had to pay damages.
I don't agree with passing responsibility onto others. My commitment to my partner is with her, not with anyone else. If I violate that, it is solely on me.
And laws have little to do with right an wrong. Sodomy laws existed, almost exclusively used against homosexual couples, never married hetero couples, despite the same acts. Interloper (or whatever the term, there were several) were almost always used against women with married men, rarely to never against single men with married women. These promote agendas, not good and bad or right and wrong.
Last edited by timberline742; 01-08-2020 at 06:25 PM..
I think we should forget all those conspiracy theories and realise that she is not married and never was (as I predicted - they only applied for the license).
Why all the farce? Who knows?! But OP is back to square one.
Let's see what she will do (or not) next.
She got all the advice needed: keep your job, keep your apartment, go to school and ditch that jerk.
Hope she learned something from this encounter.
Last edited by elnina; 01-09-2020 at 06:09 AM..
Reason: Typo
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