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So I admit I’m in a bit of a rut now. I just turned 42, my kids are 4 and 6, I work full time and have been working full time from home since March due to the pandemic. Normally I’d be taking the train to my office and I’d have quite a bit of walking to do. Over the past year I’ve put on about 10 lbs. we have a 4 yr old who still nurses to sleep and it drives my husband crazy but I can’t seem to stop it. We’ve tried having the 4 yr old sleep with DH but she wakes up wanting me. I thought she’d ween herself but she hasn’t. I’ve gained weight and DH has a lot to say about this. Thinks I should be running, lifting etc. I would like to look better but I’m 42 and at 135 I think it could be much worse.
I’ve gained some weight but I don’t look that different. Is my DH a jerk!
Mod note, 3:16 p.m. CDT on 08/08/20: Folks, please post on topic! There are lots of posts here re: diet and weight loss; parenting; advice on how to produce breast milk; etc. Keep your posts relative ONLY to the topic of OP's relationship with her husband. The other topics belong in other fora. Thanks.
Hes a dummy....tell him when hes Brad Pitt youll get around to it- but he may have a point about having 4 yr old in the bed still nursing. Where is DH sleeping as you said "we tried to have her sleep with DH."?
So I admit I’m in a bit of a rut now. I just turned 42, my kids are 4 and 6, I work full time and have been working full time from home since March due to the pandemic. Normally I’d be taking the train to my office and I’d have quite a bit of walking to do. Over the past year I’ve put on about 10 lbs. we have a 4 yr old who still nurses to sleep and it drives my husband crazy but I can’t seem to stop it. We’ve tried having the 4 yr old sleep with DH but she wakes up wanting me. I thought she’d ween herself but she hasn’t. I’ve gained weight and DH has a lot to say about this. Thinks I should be running, lifting etc. I would like to look better but I’m 42 and at 135 I think it could be much worse.
I’ve gained some weight but I don’t look that different. Is my DH a jerk!
OK there's a LOT going on here.
Yes, the pandemic has made things crazy, and it's a hard time to make changes, but it also can be a good time to FOCUS on what needs to be changed.
You said this is about your husband giving you a hard time about your weight, but you've intertwined it with this thing about you nursing your daughter.
So ... it sounds like you sleep in her bed? ... separately from your husband, which is a BIG problem.
Yes, you need to figure out how to wean her ASAP. It's become a habit for both of you, and you perpetuate it because it makes life easier. But it's probably one thing that is tanking your sex life.
You can easily Google ways to wean her. Just pick one and do it.
Then start looking into ways to re-establish the emotional bond with your husband. You two need to be a team, not two separate referees trying to corral these kids. The talk about your weight is probably just his clumsy way of getting to this issue indirectly.
10 lbs. would be nothing on someone tall, but very noticeable on someone short. We don't know how tall you are. But I agree with the others, that your weight probably isn't the real issue. Why haven't you weaned the child? They don't wean themselves. I'm wondering if there were issues in the marriage before this, and the child has become the excuse for you to avoid sleeping with your husband.
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