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We honestly don’t keep bad food in the house. No chips or cakes or anything like that. My weakness seems to be just eating more food and not exercising. Occasionally I over indulge at night in things like cheese crackers and nuts. I think the alcohol has been a big factor. I’ll often have some titos mixed with lemonade in the evening and that’s when the snacking kicks in. I’ve decided the booze has got to go.
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OP, do you see the contradiction in the two bolded passages? Do you not put cheese crackers in the same category as chips? I'll tell you something. I think probably many of the people posting here have a weakness for some type of snack food. I have to keep chips, certain types of crackers, and popcorn out of the house, period. Cookies aren't even a consideration, lol. That's the only way to deal with it. If you have a weakness for nuts, don't buy them. Keep temptations out of the house. If you work from home, take a 20-minute walk around the neighborhood during a break every day. It's a start.
After the kids go to bed we both have basically admitted that we like our alone time. He often watches tv in room and me In another.
I get it. MY SO and I have this thing where we tell each other when we need time to do whatever it is, like posting on CD or checking Twitter. But, as you know, you need to be sure you spend couple time together. Maybe you can start a new tradition in the new house, like 30 minutes sitting out on the patio together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781
Occasionally we’re in the same room. We have had a few date nights this summer thanks to my parents. But our kids take a lot out of during the day.
I don’t know that families were necessarily built for this kind of set up. Who the heck ever thought they’d be doing remote learning with a 4 and 6 yr old and trying to work from home under one roof. I do think absence can make the heart grow fonder and right now there is no absence at all.
There are some things I can change I know. The breastfeeding has become worse I think with daughter and I being around each other all day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781
I can’t stand to hear them cry when I can easily fix it.
This isn't fixing it, though. It's just putting off the fix until later.
You don't have to just leave them crying in a dark room. That's why I said start a new bedtime routine. Replace bad habits with healthy habits.
Example:
1) Playing (to wear them out) after dinner
2) Quiet time with you, watching tv etc
3) shower/bath
4) storytime - You could do both kids at once, or have you read to your son and Dad read to your daughter.
Then look into a way to have them listen to a recorded bedtime story of their choice. That way they have something to pay attention to that shuts itself off after 30-45 minutes, when they're asleep.
There are apps, or you can use CDs on a portable player, if you still have one of those.
What time are they getting to sleep right now? Aim for 8-8:30 pm.
Thanks Birdiebelle. You always have thoughtful, helpful advice.
Thx
I've just been there, done that. I had all the bad habits in place with my kids and had to break so many of them. Because raising kids this age is exhausting! Sometimes you just want a quick fix. But as you now know, the quick fix isn't so quick.
It SUUUUUUUUUCKED - for a brief time, and then things were better.
Just know that you have to go through the tunnel to get where you want. Keep working on it, and don't stop and turn around in the middle of the tunnel.
I think nuts are healthy. Cheese and crackers not so much. I think chips are more unhealthy than cheese and crackers though.
Anyhoo, my issue is I overeat. It’s not necessarily what I am eating.
But the two tend to be tied together. IDK about you, but it's common for the temptation to overeat to happen when certain foods are easily accessible. People who want to stop, recognize what their weakness-foods are, and avoid having them around. For example, if it weren't for the cheese/crackers and nuts, would you still overeat? If so, what do you think you'd switch your overeating behavior to? Would you suddenly start taking seconds at dinner, instead of snacking later? That would be a complete change in habit, though it's not unheard of.
Yes, nuts are healthy if not overindulged-in. If you can ration out for yourself, say, 5-6 walnut halves/day, you'd be fine. In fact, I originally intended to suggest something like that earlier, but changed my response. Would you be able to limit your evening snack-time to just a few nuts, plus some low-carb snacks, like celery, cauliflower with an oil/vinegar dip, and that kind of thing? Substitute non-carby snacks for the crackers?
The only time in my life where I felt like I didn’t want to eat is when I’ve had past relationships end. Completely takes away my appetite. I don’t want that to happen again but I don’t know how I’m going to get this 10 lbs off lol.
I will try not to give into my kids wants and my own eating wants.
Um my husband gets up with our son when he awakens. Thanks though.
I get up around 8 with my daughter when she wakes up.
And you’re saying most humans get up at 6am? Hell no. Even when I had a commute I was not waking up at 6am. The world is not filled with morning people.
The point I and others are making is that you and your husband are not modeling adult behavior.
In this culture, standard adult behavior as modeled for children would look like:
Weaning before 2 years of age.
Married adults don't sleep with their children unless infants. Generally the married adults sleep together though sometimes issues like snoring prevent this.
The adults get up in the morning, shower, shave, eat breakfast, get ready for the day, put on street clothes even if working from home (no lounging around in pajamas all day). The adults are clearly seen doing work most of the day (obviously, this does NOT apply to night shift work!)
There are clearly defined bed times for children based on age and for adults.
Children need consistency, limits, and healthy adult role models.
Your husband griping at you about your weight is just the tip of an iceberg. Worry about the part of the iceberg under the water, not the top 15%.
Ok well i guess i disagree that all families need to be the same. There are things I need to stop doing I’ll give you that but many adults sleep with their kids. If it works for them fine, I’m at the point where I want things to change.
We are pretty normal in that we get up in the morning, get dressed, have breakfast together etc. I do thing your standards are probably insulting to many families who don’t do what you consider to be normal though. Some adults do longe in pjs all day especially during this pandemic! I don’t.
My colleague is raising her kids in a polyamorous environment. I have thought to myself how confusing it must be for her kids but they seem ok so far. So again, please realize that kids can be raised in different types of environments and be ok. As long as nothing abusive is happening then it’s not really your concern.
Give yourself a chance to succeed. Maybe don't try to wean your daughter, cut out alcohol AND eliminate junk food all at once.
You may decide you want some Tito's after 3 days of a new bedtime routine.
But get your husband on board and work together as a team. At least if you both see each other trying to make things better, it will make you both want to work together in other ways.
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