Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I told my spouse a couple of years into our relationship. Telling him even then was a mistake, because he went to work and spread it around. It got back to me. I had no idea he was an office gossip. Had it not been for the fact we had just closed on a house together, I would have dumped him.
Instead, I had to teach him the basics of discretion. He had some highly embarrassing personal information. I asked him if he would enjoy it if I told everyone his secret. Message received and understood.
I presume you were not planning on telling? Were you under the spell of a few drinks one evening? Was it over concern that he would eventually find out? Perhaps both?
I have seen this topic before and its usually "tell them quickly." So the fact that you waited so long is interesting. A friend of mine who had been married several times, waited two months into their relationship before telling his "dream girl" about his previous marriages. She broke it off, upset that he did not tell her sooner. He was devastated since "this one was the ONE." lol. His argument was that he told her "when he felt comfortable enough" and wanted to tell her also "before they got serious." He sincerely felt it was a non issue but wanted her to know since it was a somewhat "small world." As far as I know, he has not dated since her over 10 years ago. That may have changed for all I know having not spoken to him in a year or so. Personally, if it were me, I would probably "hang it up" for fear of being rejected again over something that cannot be changed and was apparently a necessary learning experience in life.
I don't get it either. I can see a first marriage failing because of lack of experience. I'd do a lot of work on myself after the failure of that first marriage. If the second marriage failed too, I'd just concede that marriage isn't for me.
I cannot think of anyone I know who has been married more than twice. In Australia one third of marriages end in divorce and plenty of people I know have remarried. But after that people seem to just live together though I cannot find any statistics on the issue.
A family member of mine has a solution which really works for them. He is widowed, she divorced, but they have been in a relationship for nearly twenty years. They have never lived together but now live next door to each other. Very happily..
I get why people are scared life can be more then a handful these days and having someone to go though it with can help. Then it can also make matters worse because you have to look out for them as well.
It seems like it never works out well for the people who are too needy or desperate to be in a relationship.
I cannot think of anyone I know who has been married more than twice. In Australia one third of marriages end in divorce and plenty of people I know have remarried. But after that people seem to just live together though I cannot find any statistics on the issue.
A family member of mine has a solution which really works for them. He is widowed, she divorced, but they have been in a relationship for nearly twenty years. They have never lived together but now live next door to each other. Very happily..
At times their arrangement seems tempting!
What's so tempting about keeping each other at arm's length?
What's so tempting about keeping each other at arm's length?
You would be surprised. My husband and I live in the same house, but we have separate bedrooms, on different floors of the house. We both like having our own space to do our own things. We do spend a lot of time together, but it's not just "meh, we both have to exist in this space whether we like it or not" time...it's quality time. "Mindful" as they say, we are dedicating these hours to do something together.
I think that a big difference between how we feel about someone we're dating, versus a spouse of many years, is that you come to take them for granted, like a piece of furniture that is just always there. Keeping that "arms length" thing in play SOME of the time, means that when you are together, it feels special.
If my partner is just going to, for instance, play a video game or do something that I'm not involved in, then I'd rather not sit nearby feeling ignored. I'll go somewhere else and find something to do. And I'm not sitting in the room looking at my phone and ignoring him. When we are together, those kinds of distractions generally get set aside.
But different people have different preferences when it comes to "attached at the hip-ness".
You would be surprised. My husband and I live in the same house, but we have separate bedrooms, on different floors of the house. We both like having our own space to do our own things. We do spend a lot of time together, but it's not just "meh, we both have to exist in this space whether we like it or not" time...it's quality time. "Mindful" as they say, we are dedicating these hours to do something together.
I think that a big difference between how we feel about someone we're dating, versus a spouse of many years, is that you come to take them for granted, like a piece of furniture that is just always there. Keeping that "arms length" thing in play SOME of the time, means that when you are together, it feels special.
If my partner is just going to, for instance, play a video game or do something that I'm not involved in, then I'd rather not sit nearby feeling ignored. I'll go somewhere else and find something to do. And I'm not sitting in the room looking at my phone and ignoring him. When we are together, those kinds of distractions generally get set aside.
But different people have different preferences when it comes to "attached at the hip-ness".
I get what you are saying and it's a great way to share a life of marriage commitment together. The keyword here is "commitment". You are family. MarisaMay's story is that of next door neighbors. This is worse than prenups where two people live together but make sure that each stay out of the other's pocket.
If my marriage to my wife doesn’t work out, I’ll never remarry.
I see no point in multiple marriages.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
