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Most people fall into a middle area, with a two or four year degree. Take an experiened RN, who may be pulling in 80k, and is attractive. She may well be happily married to a blue collar or white collar guy who earns less. It is not lip service - it is common, VERY common. It is only a problem if the guy feels emasculated and starts acting out or if the woman holds it over his head. Smart women would never do that. Most guys these days are over it but there are certainly holdouts.
Hi tamajane,
Reinforcing lip service with more lip service equals lip service. Nothing could be more unreliable than a woman's assessment of what an attractive woman is. Its VERY absent of substance.
Since we are fighting over "hypergamy", aka the concept that a man's social standing has relevance with regard to his mate value, I offer the following statement.
“I get the fainting and adulation and she doesn’t.” -Micheal Jackson.
This statement is very reliable because, unlike information that descends from ivory towers, bad information cannot persist since that is exactly what we saw. The myth that tomatoes were poisonous persisted so long as mere mortals were not involved in the process. Now even a respected botanist would have little chance to propagate the error since it does not rely on areal photographs from NASA but rather the sauce stains on the table cloth.
You, contrary to your own opinion, do not know as much about women as you think you do. Obviously, you have not met all of us, and there are beautiful women married to men not as successful as they are. These women married for love. Some men have never experienced the love of a woman, so they can't comprehend it.
Hi smel,
Surely I could safely float over Naigra Falls in such a buoyant empty barrel of information. You have refuted me with the underwater bubbles of digested legumes.
Of course women marry for love. Women love interesting and socially dynamic men. I do not blame them for it. I simply acknowledge it along with the barometric pressure.
You really were born in the wrong century. Also, I don't know a woman that would let you tell her what she could or could not do. I also don't know anyone that would be content with 20k a year. I am glad you are happy, but I would think finding a LTR on your terms would be extremely difficult.
Well, none of the dozen girlfriends I have had, including the one I married, worked.
As I said, we both have certain roles to play. If an actress wants to read the leading man's lines, she's not going to get very far.
I know that the sort of woman that would approach me for a date or relationship is in a very limited pool. I'm fine with it. It isn't anyone's "fault".
If they don't have the qualities I'm looking for, why should I bother? As I said, it has to be someone who plays the proper part.
Surely I could safely float over Naigra Falls in such a buoyant empty barrel of information. You have refuted me with the underwater bubbles of digested legumes.
Of course women marry for love. Women love interesting and socially dynamic men. I do not blame them for it. I simply acknowledge it along with the barometric pressure.
Haha, no today I have not eaten any beans, so no I have not refuted you with gas bubbles of any kind. Maybe you should float over Niagra Falls with some of the hot air in your many posts.
Surely I could safely float over Naigra Falls in such a buoyant empty barrel of information. You have refuted me with the underwater bubbles of digested legumes.
Of course women marry for love. Women love interesting and socially dynamic men. I do not blame them for it. I simply acknowledge it along with the barometric pressure.
Thank you. These men do not have to earn more money than the women who love them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76 The word you're looking for is hypergamy. In other words women are naturally driven to "marry up". If a woman is successful then she has a smaller pool of men to "marry up" to which is only compounded by the fact that successful men are more likely to be already taken.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smel
This is your opinion. Most women are driven to marry for love. Yes, women are still motivated by a pure emotion.
Unfortunately, 70% of men don't qualify for this" love" and for a majority of the rest, it can be very fleeting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smel
It is too bad that many men are too blinded by their lack of confidence and drive to see this.
They have lack of confidence because they aren't what the "modern" woman wants, they know this from long bitter experience and this has destroyed any "confidence" that they would likely have with women. Incidentally, most of these men have lots of real confidence - far more than most women - but they are unable to "do" the ersatz confidence that women desire because they just cannot pull it off. Women call them creepy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smel
Many women that are college educated and in a white collar job are married to men in blue collar jobs. How is this marrying up?
Define many. I know a lot of such women and I cannot think of one married to a tradesman. Some who were starting out on their career, married the proverbial good looking neer do well and supported him. Many then dump him and trade up, when the opportunity presents itself and before they get to high up to be able to find someone better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smel
It is also not about money; it is about feelings. It is sad that so many men on CD are negative and whiny. It might explain why you are not in a LTR.
Yes. Pointing out the facts is whiny. Living in a fantasy world gets you in a LTR. Actually what most men find is that for the first 15 to 20 years after junior high school, they have little or no luck. The best prospects are snapped up and they are never given a chance. Women like to blame them for things like confidence but it's only that they don't have the superficial attribute to succeed in this environment.
Then they get established in a career and suddenly there is a lot of interest but only from those women that they have no interest in and frankly would be stupid to consider. Women than blame them for being too picky and only being interested in hot young girls but this is largely bull. (The men like this are those who are divorced and are again on the market.) All that these men want is someone as good and decent as they are and by age 35, such women are by then, quite rare.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76 The word you're looking for is hypergamy. In other words women are naturally driven to "marry up". If a woman is successful then she has a smaller pool of men to "marry up" to which is only compounded by the fact that successful men are more likely to be already taken.
Unfortunately, 70% of men don't qualify for this" love" and for a majority of the rest, it can be very fleeting.
They have lack of confidence because they aren't what the "modern" woman wants, they know this from long bitter experience and this has destroyed any "confidence" that they would likely have with women. Incidentally, most of these men have lots of real confidence - far more than most women - but they are unable to "do" the ersatz confidence that women desire because they just cannot pull it off. Women call them creepy.
Define many. I know a lot of such women and I cannot think of one married to a tradesman. Some who were starting out on their career, married the proverbial good looking neer do well and supported him. Many then dump him and trade up, when the opportunity presents itself and before they get to high up to be able to find someone better.
Yes. Pointing out the facts is whiny. Living in a fantasy world gets you in a LTR. Actually what most men find is that for the first 15 to 20 years after junior high school, they have little or no luck. The best prospects are snapped up and they are never given a chance. Women like to blame them for things like confidence but it's only that they don't have the superficial attribute to succeed in this environment.
Then they get established in a career and suddenly there is a lot of interest but only from those women that they have no interest in and frankly would be stupid to consider. Women than blame them for being too picky and only being interested in hot young girls but this is largely bull. (The men like this are those who are divorced and are again on the market.) All that these men want is someone as good and decent as they are and by age 35, such women are by then, quite rare.
Your opinions are not proof of anything. It is sad that you feel so defeated by life, but don't blame women for your own failings. I know many women that are college educated that are married or dating men that are not. Get out, look around, and you will see the same. Yes, these men have something to offer besides money. They are guys who believe in themselves and like women. No woman wants to be with a guy who doesn't like women. That is your first problem...you don't like women, and then you complain because no woman wants you. Why would a woman want you? What do you have to offer besides a negative attitude? I like guys that make me laugh, like women, and like themselves as well.
Reinforcing lip service with more lip service equals lip service. Nothing could be more unreliable than a woman's assessment of what an attractive woman is. Its VERY absent of substance.
Unfortunately, gender confusion is well and strong in western society.
On that note, it seems that the misguided idea certain foolish women have of achieving career success in order to attract a man is cut from the same cloth as the belief some poor men hold that they're a manicure and a facial away from attracting women. To be fair though, the manicure approach seems to work better on average for men than the career success approach seems to work for women.
Ladies of the forum, consider the following: men generally care less about your money and your career accomplishments than you care about their looks and the softness of their skin. Given how little many of you claim to care about such superficial traits, take a moment to ponder the implications of this reality, and re-evalute your priorities.
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